The Gift of Giving

The Gift of Giving

I began to think about the gift of giving when I attended an event Some years ago where I was asked to speak about the value of developing philanthropy in young people.  In thinking about what I might say, I obviously had to consider the rewards of giving, and as […]

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Aftercare - two hands holding hearts

Happily Ever Aftercare

In BDSM, aftercare can be the secret to things being lasting and retaining that sense of magic you share with your play partner. It allows you to feel safe, build trust, and create a strong connection through the shared experience. Although it is the play rather than the aftercare which […]

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An unrequited love for kink

An Unrequited Love for Kink

Unrequited love is usually concerned with a love which is not reciprocated for whatever reason. It may be that the object of your desire is unaware of your feelings, or indeed unavailable to you. It might happen that your love for them has continued beyond the point where you were […]

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libido on lockdown

Is my Libido on Lockdown?

I had hoped that being isolated with HL all day would allow us to ramp things up a bit sexually, but the current lockdown seems to have had the opposite effect and led to a loss in libido. I am not sure if I am alone in this, but it […]

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Codependency - couple with his arm around her

A couple of things about Codependency

I have written a post about codependency and D/s for The SafeworD/s Club which focusses on what makes a healthy relationship, and what a codependent D/s relationship might look like in contrast. I made the point in that post that although some people would see a power exchange as being […]

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regrets - picture of a dandelion


When I saw this topic I wasn’t sure that I would be able to write about it. I don’t tend to have regrets. In fact it probably isn’t that I don’t have them, but I don’t like to dwell on them. Sometimes, if the feeling is very strong then I […]

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The road not taken

The road not taken for a very long time

I have written about discovering that I was submissive before and, little pitch coming up, even had a piece called ‘Submission and Me‘ published in ‘Discovery; An Eroticon Anthology’.  I have wondered about why it took me until I was in my 40s to work it all out and why […]

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Moments in Time

These moments in time

I think that one of the important things I have applied to my relationship with HL is about moments. I came to realise that a lot of what was positive in a relationship came from taking those little thoughts that I have, the random flashes, and committing to making them […]

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Share - October SoSS Review

Missy’s October Review – #SoSS 7

Here we are, almost at the end of October and the best laid plans find me posting my monthly share a day later than I had hoped. It has been a busy few weeks and I have made some changes to the look and layout of my site (big thanks […]

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Roots Revisited

….we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.  ‎Louis de Bernières In my post, Roots, I wrote about the impact that change and loss had on our relationship and […]

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We loved with a love that was more than love

I struggle to explain how I feel about our relationship – about what we have. It is love for sure but also it is also ‘more’ than love and sometimes that overwhelms me. It is not something that I ever thought I would get and I think that is part […]

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Revelations - poster which reads time for the big reveal


Perhaps revelations is too strong; discoveries and confirmations may actually fit better. HisLordship has written already, an account of our time at KinkFest. I didn’t want to write my own as that seemed a little pointless, if not repetitive. What I do think is important, however, is what we have […]

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Share - Missy's #SoSS

Missy’s SoSS #4

In my last #SoSS post I said that while posting every week is unrealistic for me, I would try to share other sites and posts whenever I could.  And here I am, quite a few weeks later, only just getting another one out. If I can’t do better in the […]

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knowing and doing

Knowing and Doing

I don’t want to be writing this post but then again, I don’t want to be feeling like I do. Actually I feel okay now but before I didn’t. Now I am here. Matter of fact. Being rational. And the thing about writing about what happens is that you don’t […]

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She was the passenger and not the driver, and yet she was significant. Without her the journey would not necessarily need to take place, and if it still did, would follow quite a different route. It bothered her not that she was in this situation. Others might look and think […]

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realstic - fantasy ideal couple

Wishful Thinking

When you compare yourself against an unrealistic ideal it leads to unrealistic expectations and ones which you will likely never meet. There is a simple reason for this: they are not actually realistic. Through my blog and through chatting at The SWC I talk to a number of new submissives. […]

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one phone talking to another

On the phone

It is a long time since HisLordship and I engaged in proper phone sex. At the beginning of our relationship it meant everything, as that was the greatest medium we had for regular communication, but since living together we have used it less and less. Having said that, I think […]

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exploring my middle side

The Middle Ground

I have written before about being a middle and that side of me, but my middle side is something that I have not explored as much as I thought I would. There are a couple of reasons for this: feeling overwhelmed by life and circumstances and having to ‘adult’ on […]

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ebb and flow - missy naked in water

The ebb and flow

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” John O’Donohue The ebb and flow. It seems that the gorgeous summery weather we have been having here has finally come to an end. It has led to ideal opportunities to peel off and […]

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I decided to write this post as I was reading A Tale of Long Ago and also talking to a friend about my past relationship. This is not a D/s related post as it is about insecure attachment but I hope it might help anyone who has, or is in a […]

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