the feel good factor - cover

The Feel Good Factor

One of the things I wanted to come out of this year, was a focus on trying to feel good, about myself and about my life. This came partly from turning 50, partly from the craziness that has been going on around us in the world, and partly just because […]

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My journey in submission

My Journey in submission

My journey really began when I met HL. He wasn’t HL back then of course, but without knowing it, I saw the part of him that HL would become. There was something about him and the way we interacted. It was exciting, it was full of promise and it felt […]

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13 things about a D/s relationship

13 Things about a D/s Relationship, and a Bertie

Let’s start with some common misconceptions about a D/s relationship 1. D/s is not abuse And those who take part in it are not always victims of abuse looking for a way to manage it. While public opinion would have you believe that D/s relationships are abusive, this is not […]

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D/s Advent 2020

Advent Calendar 2020

I have been deliberating what to do with my advent calendar posts this year. I explained in this post that for Advent 2020 we were taking a community approach and creating the tasks on The SWC. I have been posting in the Forum there and also on Twitter but I […]

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D/s Advent

This Year’s D/s Advent

As long time readers will know, for the past four years I have done some form of D/s Advent Calendar for HL. I began with my Submissive Advent Calendar in 2016 as a way of making a bit of a fuss of HL because he’d had a pretty rubbish year […]

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In a dungeon

In a Dungeon

I tried to give this image a dungeon feel and, although it was not actually taken in one, I would like to visit a dungeon some time. We had plans before COVID and hopefully when things are back to normal we can plan for this again. I think that there […]

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A simple sunday from the past

Simple Sunday

Simple Sunday is the best. It has been quite a week and it feels good to take some time for us just to be. I am glad to have HL to guide and protect me. Together the world feels better: we celebrate each other’s successes and support during those difficult […]

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feel naughty

Never too old to be naughty

I like being naughty. I like it, but I find it hard to do sometimes. My self consciousness is a bitch and she kicks in and stops me from letting go, from being the naughty girl I want to be. It has got harder as I have got older. She […]

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honesty in a dominant submissive marriage

Honesty in a Dominant submissive marriage

Honesty is one of the cornerstones of a Dominant submissive marriage. Honesty is a hard one in lots of ways. Many people take it to mean the absence of telling lies. Clearly it is important to be honest about what you say but honesty is also about your actions. If […]

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submissive wife

What is a submissive wife

I have thought a lot about what it is to be a submissive wife and I suppose it starts with what submission is or, at least what it means. The meaning of submissive is: Ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive, Assuming this […]

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Feeling playful in a wetlook playsuit

Feeling Playful

I enjoy dressing up. Dressing up for HL is even better as he makes me feel sexy. I have written before about enclothed cognition and the fact that the right clothes can completely change my mindset for the better. I have been trying to celebrate this through a focus on […]

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Candaulism ~ Being an Exhibit

Candaulism, Voyeurism and Exhibitionism This is really the second part to Watching or being watched where I concluded that one of my key kinks was candaulism. Candaulism seems to be less discussed than its partner kinks of voyeurism or exhibitionism, but it is closely related. Where voyeurism is about gaining […]

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new tell me about

Tell Me About

Back in January 2019 I wrote about the new writing project I had was launching, Tell Me About … Dominance and submission. This came really from me thinking about my direction as a blogger and my place in the writing community. I started my blog to write about D/s as […]

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independent submissive

An independent submissive

Being independent and submissive I have struggled to resolve my independence with my submission at points and I know that I am not alone in this. Being an independent person and a submissive can cause a certain amount of confusion, certainly initially. So much of what we read of the […]

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stationery fetish

A stationery fetish

I think it was probably evident from my second to last post that life was getting on top of me. The propensity to adult and deal with adult things has been high. I feel I have hardly switched off and, where D/s would be my usual release, the times seem […]

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D/s on Lockdown – dealing with change

I have learnt, the hard way, that a D/s relationship is very susceptible to change. I know that all relationships require adjustments and tweaks in order to accommodate change, but I think, for us at least, the tight sense of structure and routine that supports a D/s lifestyle is easily […]

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fist of winter

Fist of Winter

Number 15 on the calendar for us was ‘The fist of winter’.  I have written about fisting before, and one post that I wrote quite recently was The hows and whys of fisting where I explain more of the nitty gritty to fisting. It also has links to some other posts […]

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TV and fondle under a blanket

Well the big number 5 was entitled ‘The Weather Inside is Frightful’. and it was TV and a fondle under a blanket. Actually nothing could have been further from what I wanted. We snuggled up and after the dog stopped trying to come between us by staring at the movement […]

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Glass of christmas cheer

A glass of Christmas Cheer

Number 3 in this year’s calendar was a carry over from last year: ‘A glass of Christmas cheer.’ The idea behind this was some play with our glass icicle dildo (warmed up luckily!) I wondered whether to post about this because really, it didn’t work out so well but I […]

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