Submissive growth

Submissive growth and how to make it happen

How do you want your submission to grow over the course of this year? The second question that I am focusing on in terms of my current submissive reflection is How do you want your submission to grow over the course of this year? For me, growth as as submissive […]

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I think we’re alone now

Well it looks like we have our empty nest. It has felt like a slow time coming, but also as if it has suddenly appeared upon us. I am glad that there are positives for us in having more privacy and time to ourselves as it is hard in many […]

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The best and worst advice

The best advice I have to give The best advice I have for those of you who are thinking about starting out in a D/s lifestyle is to find what fits and to make it your own. There are many who will tell you what you should do, and think […]

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Aftercare - two hands holding hearts

Happily Ever Aftercare

In BDSM, aftercare can be the secret to things being lasting and retaining that sense of magic you share with your play partner. It allows you to feel safe, build trust, and create a strong connection through the shared experience. Although it is the play rather than the aftercare which […]

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Privacy and its problems

Privacy is a big issue with us. I do not hide the fact that we have to keep our online activity secret from the vanilla world, which really impacts on us being cautious both ways around. But in addition we have difficulties with a different sort of privacy and that […]

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What is Dominance

What is Dominance?

The Tell Me About prompt this time is Dominance. I have written before about why I feel that I have A Need for Domination on an emotional level, and have also explored Why Dominance turns me on in a more recent post. What I don’t think I have ever really been able […]

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Never mention the unmentionable

There are some things that I would like to mention. About me. And about my life. I have never told you because I worry that you would not understand, and that you might use it against me, so I keep quiet. I don’t mention these things which are unmentionable. It […]

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Strength - Anais Nin quote

Strength and submission

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”  Anais Nin The prompt for […]

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Glove and lace knickers


There is something sexy about long satin opera gloves, and that is often the way that they make me feel when I am wearing them. They are one of those accessories that feel a bit suggestive, whether that is your intention when wearing them or not. This sort of suggestion […]

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My Release

This is my release. You are my release. What we do is my release. You release me from myself, from my head and from the whirl and swirl of rules that I make to tame the uncertainty and confusion of life. I have done it for so long it is […]

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closer - missy and HL a triptych


This week has been about us getting closer again so I wanted to use an image which captured that. I love these moments when we have time just to relax and enjoy each other. I love to touch his body and to feel his fingers trace the lines of my […]

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Maintaining my mindset

Maintaining my Mindset

I am having some trouble maintaining my mindset at the moment. This does happen sometimes, usually when the stuff of life has de-railed us somewhat from the goal of our happily ever after. Some of these things are surmountable and other things seem to be less so. This has been […]

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what to wear

All the fun of the fair

HisLordship and I went off the Torture Garden last night with our good friends and fellow kinksters, kisungura and Cuiplash. We have been before but not for a while so we were really looking forward to it. For those of you who haven’t heard of Torture Garden, it bills itself […]

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We recently had a chat at The SafeworD/s Club about Roleplay. In my preamble to the topic I described roleplay as the marmite of BDSM as people either seem to love or to hate it. It turned out that most of us who attended the chat were fans, although we’d […]

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D/s is a dance

The D/s Dance

I have often said that I think D/s is like a dance. This is because, if done well, it can be a thing of beauty. There is a lot of focus required, there are intricate steps to learn, you can add lib a little depending on your mood and it […]

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wonder woman


Last week was a bit of a whirlwind. It was an odd week with HisLordship working away from home but as I wrote in my last post, I think the time apart was actually good for us in terms of allowing some reflection. I felt at the start of a […]

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reading my post - mask quote

A little reading goes a long way

Last night we had set some time aside for each other as we had missed out for one reason or another. I guess that we both must have needed it because despite the stuff of life working to derail us with its usual tricks, we managed to get back to […]

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Stuck in a Dip

Stuck in a dip

I am never sure whether I want to write about dips or not as it seems a bit negative. But they do happen and sometimes when you are stuck in a dip that is what you need to talk about. Although dips aren’t nice, I do think that they are […]

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