Self-host: Move it or lose it

Why self-host? This morning I had a message from my friend sweetgirl, who had woken up to find her blog suspended by WordPress, with no warning and no explanation. This is a recurring theme, and hoping that it doesn’t happen to you is not going to protect you. There is […]

Continue reading

Look for the Bare Accessories

I was reflecting at the weekend on accessories and the part they can have in locating or keeping the right mindset for play. This was not due to anything particularly profound, but more mundanely down to the fact that I wrote a post on Accessories and Mindset for The SafeworD/s […]

Continue reading

Submission and how it works for me

I have written a lot on this blog about submission. That is not surprising as my blog is essentially an account of my life as a submissive wife. It is about the love, the kink and the connection and that is what submission gives me. I could have the love […]

Continue reading

Laughter and Orgasms

I know they say that laughter is the best medicine and really this is not such a surprise. But when I tried to think of things which had made me laugh this week, I found it quite hard. That is not to say that I don’t laugh, but it tends […]

Continue reading

Celibacy: A piece of the past

When I saw that this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt was celibacy, I thought that I had nothing to write. It wasn’t until I read May More’s post, Being Celibate, Love and Sex, that I realised that I had, like her, been celibate for a large chunk of time during my […]

Continue reading
christmas is coming - surviving the holidays

Christmas is coming – Surviving the holidays

Surviving the Christmas holidays, in a submissive mindset, is tough. We were writing a post about it for The SafeworD/s Club which was meant to focus on top tips. And I realised that despite knowing the theory, see previous post with top tips, we are not always so good at […]

Continue reading
Fire meets Gasoline

Fire Meet Gasoline

I remember people saying that it can be dangerous to fall in love, but I had never really understood what that meant. I think that I thought maybe it was about being hurt emotionally and I can’t say that put me off very much. But I came to realise when […]

Continue reading
sugar and spice - spicy sex

Sugar and Spice – spicy sex?

I have always been someone who enjoys sex. When I look back now that sort of surprises me as the type of sex we have currently is so different to anything that I had found before. The closest comparison would be at the beginning of the relationship when you are […]

Continue reading
All about Control

All about Control

I am a submissive living in a full time D/s dynamic with my husband and Dominant. Assumption would dictate that I will be weak and dependent on a stronger (male) partner to make decisions and choices for me. It would struggle to imagine how I could be of a nature […]

Continue reading
Scent to test us written on a card

Scent to test us

It has long been accepted that a person’s natural scent can make up part of what attracts others to them. According to the science this is down to the fact that people use body odour or scent to subconsciously identify how likely a potential mate will be to pass on […]

Continue reading
Nurturing the primal - image of a Cabin in the woods

Nurturing the Primal Side

Tomorrow HL and I head off to a cabin in the woods for a couple of days.  The thought of being able to nurture the more primal side of us, which is so often put on hold due to circumstances and opportunity, is such a welcome thing. And yet I […]

Continue reading
picture of clouds saying and breathe for blogging and me

Blogging and me

When I started blogging I really had no idea how it would work for me. The purpose of my blog was to be able to share my own experience and hopefully to connect with others. This happened in a much bigger way than I could have predicted but actually blogging […]

Continue reading

The other me

In my other life I am a champion for others. This is a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but recently I have been feeling that the two parts of my life are becoming more and more polarised. Actually keeping things separate is something that we have worked to achieve. […]

Continue reading
being vocal

Being Vocal

I struggle with being vocal during sex and play. It is not something that I have ever done and therefore it feels uncomfortable I suppose. I know that part of what makes things work well is to communicate your thoughts and feelings and I have no trouble with that in […]

Continue reading
Someday I I will be able to be lost in him, not for hours but for days and perhaps even for weeks


Someday we will have an empty nest. I am not wishing my life away as I love the life that I have but neither am I dreading the end of the formal part of my role as a mother. I really enjoy being a mum and for a time that […]

Continue reading

It’s not natural

I have had recent conversations with submissives who have said that their partners are not a natural Dominant. I find this a really interesting thought. When I first suggested D/s to HisLordship I felt it would work well because it fell in with the way that we were naturally. I […]

Continue reading

Let’s talk about sex, baby

I teach sex education. Actually, I teach sexual health and relationships education and we follow a national programme which meets the relevant outcomes for health and well being in those areas. I have written before about the probable fallout there would be if it was discovered that the teacher was […]

Continue reading

We loved with a love that was more than love

I struggle to explain how I feel about our relationship – about what we have. It is love for sure but also it is also ‘more’ than love and sometimes that overwhelms me. It is not something that I ever thought I would get and I think that is part […]

Continue reading
Revelations - poster which reads time for the big reveal


Perhaps revelations is too strong; discoveries and confirmations may actually fit better. HisLordship has written already, an account of our time at KinkFest. I didn’t want to write my own as that seemed a little pointless, if not repetitive. What I do think is important, however, is what we have […]

Continue reading