submissy
These submissive musings posts consist of random thoughts, ponderings and inspiration on all things which relate to Dominance and submission. This contains reflection on topics to do with my life and experience as well as topics which are current and/or have been highlighted by others.
Writing in this category will often contain responses to some of the memes and prompts that I take part in.
If I had to choose between a song or a dance, I would choose to dance everything time. For one, I do not have a great singing voice. Not that this feels fair. I am musical, play several instruments, have a good sense of rhythm and can hold a tune. […]
Sometimes it is helpful to look at things from a new angle. It can be really hard to do, especially when you are reflecting or examining things about yourself. Even with others, we seem to become so easily entrenched in what we expect an outcome to be, or the way […]
Time is a funny thing. There never seems to be enough of it, and yet, we make it work for us, fitting in with the ticking and passing of the units it gives us. I sometimes wonder what the world was like before these units of time, and often think […]
There seems to be something about bottoms and submission. I know that this is a bit of a play on words, as we submissives are clearly all bottoms at heart, but that is not what I am referring to. I mean the other bottom, the physical one. I am not […]
My Love of Autumn I have always loved autumn. In many senses I love something about each season: the promise of spring, the warmth of summer sun and the coziness of winter. But autumn feels sexy to me. I don’t know if it’s the cooler weather which is borne rather […]
There are lots of misunderstandings about Dominance and submission. One of these is the idea that ownership is a negative thing. For a submissive this is not the case. Ownership and the sense of feeling owned or belonging to someone is a powerful and beautiful thing. It is not about […]
I have been meaning to write a post about topping from the bottom for a while. For quite a long time, in fact. Why? Because it is a term which is bandied around in submissive circles and I often disagree with its use. Technically speaking, topping from the bottom is […]
Finding your Comfort Zone We all seek comfort. Why wouldn’t we? Ultimately a place where we feel safe and in control is what we are stacked to aim for. Comfort is a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint so it is natural that as people we […]
This question is something that seems to cause a lot of deliberation and consideration in D/s circles. I am not sure why. I suppose somewhere there is pressure to be a ‘submissive type’ so that we can see how well we are doing and how well we match up. I […]
There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding kink and BDSM. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding D/s too and I have written about some of those in 13 Things about a D/s Relationship, and a Bertie. But I think that one of the most misunderstood areas, even within the […]
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” True but for me, my name has become more than just something to call me. It is tied firmly into my identity, as a blogger and as a submissive. Although I began […]
Every once in a while I read a post on twitter or WordPress decrying sex education in schools. Usually these posts quote a lack of education around pornography and sexual pleasure as well as consent, inclusion and diversity. I wonder about the authors. I wonder when they were last in […]
The topic for Wicked Wednesday this time is fantasies. I wanted to write a hot fantasy but I am just not there yet. I am still feeling serious and analytical, but looking back at the fantasy material I have here on my blog, I see the progress that I have […]
For me submissive headspace is the place I am in when I am deeply submissive. It goes beyond my submissive mindset because mindset is more of a conscious thing. Submissive headspace differs because it is about thinking and feeling deeply submissive which becomes an automatic response. It is a place […]
What does being a submissive mean? First of all, there is a difference between being submissive and being a submissive. One is an adjective which describes something you are and the other is a noun which is the name for something you are. I also believe that being submissive in […]
There are some things I have found interesting about impulsivity and how being a submissive has made a difference to it. Like many of my traits, submission seems to have built on the positives while allowing me to move away from some of my less positive behaviours. There are a […]
Let’s start with some common misconceptions about a D/s relationship 1. D/s is not abuse And those who take part in it are not always victims of abuse looking for a way to manage it. While public opinion would have you believe that D/s relationships are abusive, this is not […]
I used to really enjoy foreplay. And other times I used to find it a chore. Now I don’t think we do it which sounds weird, but bare with me. Foreplay is what you do before sex, right? But what we do is play. Yes, often there is penetration but […]
I have written a lot about trust and the need for trust in a D/s relationship such as the one I have with HL. In order to build this level of trust it is important to be honest and open and this can make us vulnerable. I am generally a […]
Unrequited love is usually concerned with a love which is not reciprocated for whatever reason. It may be that the object of your desire is unaware of your feelings, or indeed unavailable to you. It might happen that your love for them has continued beyond the point where you were […]