Edge Play

On the Edge play

Content Notice: This post contains details of edge play including knife play, needle play, CNC and breath play. What is edgy for one is not necessarily edgy for another and this post has come at a time when I am not feeling at my most edgy. So consider this a […]

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Codependency - couple with his arm around her

A couple of things about Codependency

I have written a post about codependency and D/s for The SafeworD/s Club which focusses on what makes a healthy relationship, and what a codependent D/s relationship might look like in contrast. I made the point in that post that although some people would see a power exchange as being […]

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romance - extract from valentine by carol ann duffy


I thought that I would start with the Carol Ann Duffy poem, ‘Valentine’ because, through her metaphysical interpretation, she turns on its head our preconceptions of romance, and I have always quite liked that. In comparing love to an onion, she covers many of the aspects of relationships which are […]

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used as ornament - objectification

Objectification as a Kink

I have an objectification kink.  I always feel a bit embarrassed about that because it seems wrong to want such a thing, but then again I guess a lot kink seems a little wrong, in a good way of course.  I don’t enjoy just any objectification though so it has […]

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submissive mindset

Submissive mindset and other thinking parts

So what is a submissive mindset? Generally there is quite a bit of reference on D/s sites to mindset. To me, having a submissive mindset is about the way that I think. It is a state that I am in which is determined by what is going on around about […]

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Control and D/s - the beginning and the end of everything

Control and D/s

The topic this time for Tell Me About is control. I really don’t know if I have any more to say on the subject. And yet I probably do. Why? Well because control is the beginning and the end of everything in D/s really. You can’t have a D/s relationship […]

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Reset or reality

I am struggling to write about resets. I realise that we have not reset for a long time and that leads me to consider why. It would be good if I could say that it was because things were going so well with our D/s dynamic that it was not […]

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What is a scene?

So tell me, what is a scene?

I was asked some time ago what a scene was. The question came via a comment on my blog and the commenter said she had searched my blog for more information or some sort of definition.  I promised at the time that a post would follow but here I am, […]

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Anal – A slow and careful undoing

I have written a lot about anal and wondered if I still had anything to say on the matter. But when I thought about it, I can see how much this is an area which has grown in significance as part of our D/s.  Looking back now at how far […]

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I get by with a little help from my friends

I have always enjoyed having friends in the real world and for a time, when I was unhappy in my former marriage, friendships were what I focussed on and what kept me going. I was a bit of a party girl, hosting events and organising get togethers and dinners whenever […]

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public play

Public Play

Public play is something that we both find quite interesting and therefore, it might seem strange that we  have not done more of it. Although we have had a couple of opportunities and have give it a go, it is not something that has become much of a feature of […]

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Living in a D/s power exchange

Living in a D/s Power Exchange

What is a power exchange An agreed power exchange is what makes our relationship a Dominant and submissive one. Most relationships consider themselves to be equal ones which means that each partner takes it in turns to lead. Some may consider themselves more traditional where the male always takes the […]

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Erotic Humiliation

More About Erotic Humiliation

Obviously I set the topic for TMA and so want to take part. But I am also aware that I have written a lot about erotic humiliation here already and that is because it is one, if not the biggest one, of my kinks. I suppose the way I experience […]

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What is Dominance

What is Dominance?

The Tell Me About prompt this time is Dominance. I have written before about why I feel that I have A Need for Domination on an emotional level, and have also explored Why Dominance turns me on in a more recent post. What I don’t think I have ever really been able […]

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Trust and submission

Trust and submission

If D/s has taught me anything, it has taught me that feelings are not quantifiable. I have always had trust in HL. Has it always been the same level of trust that I have in him now? No. Is it at a level where I can say in all honesty, […]

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Erotic Spanking

Erotic Spanking – the bottom line

Why Erotic Spanking? We love erotic spanking. I suppose I could ask what’s not to love, but I know that not everyone enjoys it like we do.  As you might imagine, within our dynamic HL is the spanker and I am the spanked, but we both enjoy what it gives […]

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submissive marriage rules

Following the rules in a submissive marriage

In a submissive marriage, rules are central. As a person I am pretty good at following rules as long as I see their purpose. Rules can be there to keep us safe, to keep others safe and to generally make life run more smoothly. Sometimes rules are so valuable and […]

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Safewords – Do I Need One?

Do I need a safeword? I have mixed feelings about safewords. On one hand I think they are an important part of keeping safe in a BDSM relationship and, on the other, I wonder if they are pretty superfluous in the type of D/s relationship that I have now. In […]

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exploring bondage

Exploring Bondage

Bondage is an interesting topic for me to write about and it is not something I have written about much before. Synonymous with the image of BDSM, and yet it is probably one of my lesser kinks. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to be tied, restrained, spread and […]

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orgasm - the story of my O

Orgasm Tales – The Story of my O

I don’t remember how old I was when I had my first orgasm. What I do remember is that I found out it was called an orgasm when I was about 15. Before I realised it had a name, I had masturbated to that point. I had also told my […]

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