Electric sex - ElectraStim

Electric Sex – charged up and ready to go

Why we decided to try electric sex The topic for Tell Me About… this time is Electroplay. This is something I have written about quite a bit and, if you are interested, I have linked the posts at the bottom. Suffice to say, we enjoy electroplay. We have an ElectraStim […]

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Not tonight dear, I've got a headache

Not tonight dear, I’ve got a headache

I know that the “Not tonight dear, I’ve got a headache,” thing is just a joke really and certainly for me, saying no to HL isn’t part of our deal. That said, my headaches do get in the way quite a bit. I have written before about my hormonal migraines […]

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sex toys

Sex Toys ~ How we use them and the ones we love

Sex toys is the current topic for Tell Me About and surprisingly I have never really written about them before. We have LOADS of toys and so, although I am linking to Wicked Wednesday’s peep show prompt, this is more of a peep at a virtual show and tell than […]

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life gets in the way

What happens when life gets in the way

What happens when life gets in the way? Well from experience it impacts your power exchange and your D/s relationship. Clearly I write from the viewpoint of a full time lifestyle dynamic but I think that whatever set up you have, significant life events will have an impact. Obviously sometimes […]

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being exposed is my kink

Being Exposed is my Kink

I know I am kinky in vanilla terms but because we have been exploring kink for so long, much of what we do feels normal to me now. I wondered for a while if I was even kinky anymore, whilst at the same time knowing that kinky is something that […]

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Foundations

Finding your foundations and building on them

The foundations of our D/s relationship are the same as would exist for any good relationship: Honesty, Trust, Respect and Open Communication. Because we are a couple, I am happy to say that there is also love. A lot of love. In fact, love is at the heart of everything […]

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The Gift of Giving

The Gift of Giving

I began to think about the gift of giving when I attended an event Some years ago where I was asked to speak about the value of developing philanthropy in young people.  In thinking about what I might say, I obviously had to consider the rewards of giving, and as […]

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My journey in submission

My Journey in submission

My journey really began when I met HL. He wasn’t HL back then of course, but without knowing it, I saw the part of him that HL would become. There was something about him and the way we interacted. It was exciting, it was full of promise and it felt […]

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Aftercare - two hands holding hearts

Happily Ever Aftercare

In BDSM, aftercare can be the secret to things being lasting and retaining that sense of magic you share with your play partner. It allows you to feel safe, build trust, and create a strong connection through the shared experience. Although it is the play rather than the aftercare which […]

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Impact Play picture of crop on bottom

Impact Play – beyond spanking

Life Before Impact Play I often think that spanking is like the gateway drug to impact play. These days it is almost mainstream and, in my opinion, that has to be a good thing. Now, while I do feel that nothing beats a good over the knee spanking at the […]

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Desires, Dominance and submission

Desires, Dominance and submission

The Difficulty with our Desires Many of us are never able to have our desires met for one reason or another. This might be to do with the fact that we keep them to ourselves and feel unable to share them, or it might be that we have not found […]

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Pussy Flogger Fun

Pussy Flogger Fun

The flogger was one of the first impact toys we bought. When we first started to experiment more with kink as part of our Dominance and submission, I was keen to experience the flogger. I had read so much about it in fiction and loved the way it was described. […]

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Achieving Intimacy

Achieving Intimacy

This is a partner post to one I have written for The SafeworD/s Club about what intimacy is and how that fits with a D/s lifestyle. While the other post is more informational, I wanted to include some of the more personal side about the things that we do which […]

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Limits and boundaries

Limits, boundaries and submission

I have written generally about limits and boundaries in a post for The SafeworD/s Club. I wanted to make this post more personal to me and about a bit of a defining moment concerning my submission. More specifically it is concerning my submissive headspace, or my submissive space as I […]

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nudity and freedom

Nudity and freedom

I have mixed feelings about nudity. I can find being naked really liberating and sometimes I am totally on board with it, but my fragile body image and body dysmorphia can also make being naked an impossibility. My mixed feelings extend to taking pictures. I tend not to publish those […]

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Watching or being watched

Watching or being watched

If someone asked me, I would say that I don’t enjoy watching or being watched in a sexual sense. I am not an exhibitionist and I am not a voyeur, and yet, there is something about it that does appeal to me. HL watches me all the time. It is […]

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new tell me about

Tell Me About

Back in January 2019 I wrote about the new writing project I had was launching, Tell Me About … Dominance and submission. This came really from me thinking about my direction as a blogger and my place in the writing community. I started my blog to write about D/s as […]

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