out of sync

Out of sync – writing to reach you

I feel that I am out of sync with myself. By that I mean the self who exists here, who exists as the author of this blog. That self is also my submissive self and I am out of sync with her too. Not that I have given up on […]

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shifting focus and how to enjoy a smaller world

Shifting focus and how to enjoy a smaller world

I have spent some time thinking about this recently, because in many ways a smaller world is what we are facing at the moment. Focus can be so important and to focus on what there isn’t and fight and struggle with that can be really hard. I do feel fortunate […]

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Submissive photo challenge

Submissive Photo Challenge – Exposed

This week I was set a submissive photo challenge. The idea was for me to take a photo each day and post it in a group chat. I was told that the purpose was to focus my mind on doing something for someone else. Secondary to this was to push […]

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Lights will guide you home

Lights Will Guide You Home

I have been struggling to write recently. I just can’t seem to focus my thoughts and I think that this is due to feeling exhausted. Usually the weekends afford me a break and I can catch up a bit but something happened this week up to throw me off course […]

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I dislike social media

Why I Dislike Social Media

Firstly, although somewhat contradictory to the title, I want to say that I do see positives to social media. It can be a useful way of communicating and connecting with others. I have had some positive experiences of it too, but I would have to say that I have also […]

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Relax – recovery will come

Feeling relaxed is hard right now. There is a layer under the surface which never rests, never sleeps. I have tried yoga, and masturbation. I have tried walking and reading. I have tried new projects and focusing my energies into changing things and taking back control, but there is a […]

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Stress Baker - keep calm and carry on baking

Stress Baker

Confessional: I am a stress baker Yes, I am a stress baker. I am a baker too, but during times of stress, baking becomes not just a functional means of providing food and sweet treats for those around me, but a way to control my life and create a sense […]

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sense of denial

A sense of denial

Today I feel really sad. I went off to work on a day when many are already either self-quarantined or practicing social distancing, terms which have fast become part of our language the past week or so. I work in a school so whether or not I got to work […]

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caveman brain

My Caveman Brain

Anxiety is something that we all feel and it comes from our caveman brain. It is natural to feel it. It is a good thing and it keeps us safe from danger and helps us to problem solve. But for some anxiety can take over and it can become an […]

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self love

The things I do for (self) Love

Let me start by saying that I am not good at self love. It is not something that comes naturally and I can slip quite easily into being my own worst critic. Like many things in this world, however, I know the theory, I just don’t always put it into […]

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Fear, insecurity, anxiety and self-doubt

There’s a fear. Fear of falling behind, of not meeting others’ expectations of me, of being left behind because I am just too slow and not good enough to keep up. And that is my life. I am well and truly over committed and falling behind; not meeting my own […]

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A weight on my shoulders

“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.” ― Ariana Dancu Recently I have felt that I have a lot on my shoulders; I feel that they are supporting not only my own […]

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Keeping up with Miss Perfect

It is not easy to keep up with Miss Perfect. She’s so so bloody perfect, after all.  Not that she actually is, she just sets herself standards which make it seem that way. To herself, and to others. It’s exhausting and it’s daunting and it can be quite destructive. Perfection […]

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lost mojo

Missy’s missing mojo

This is not the first time I have lost my mojo but it is annoying the hell out of me. I don’t know if I have ever been properly depressed, if so then not for a long time, but I sort of feel like this may be pre-depressed state. Like […]

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Being Overlooked

In real life I feel that I often get overlooked. I am not sure what people see when they look at me, but they certainly don’t see what is really there. It can be frustrating but I also think maybe it allows me to go undetected for things too. It […]

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Ghosts from the past

Sometimes I struggle to write. This can happen for a few reasons, but usually it is because something is in the way. Another thought, another idea, another set of emotions which needs to be processed before I can tap into the part of my brain which allows me to think […]

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fun orgasm - 30 day orgasm challenge

It’s back, and O, so am I

Last year I took part in Tabitha Rayne’s 30 day orgasm fun, a challenge about ‘masturbation for a mental health boost‘. Essentially, is about focussing on yourself for the 30 days of April and sort of reconnecting with yourself on a sexual level. Last year was a mixed bag for […]

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I am trying to sleep

Shhhh! I am trying to sleep

Sleep is a funny thing. I know that I need sleep, but I have often resented the time that it takes up. This is silly as I know that our brains work when we are asleep and the work that they do is vital to the functionality that we get […]

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