Vulnerability and connection

Vulnerability and Connection

Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection I have posted before about vulnerability, and for me it has been significant to the success of my submission. Allowing myself to be vulnerable for HisLordship, and letting him see the real me, has been […]

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At of listening

The Art of Listening

A really important part of a successful relationship is effective communication. Although we begin learning how to communicate with those who are around about us and will support us and meet our needs from a very young age, many of us are not truly effective at communication. Communication is a […]

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Explore

Explore with me?

Go on then. Here I am she said excitedly. Take me and break me and bend me and shape me. Anything you want. Any way you want. I am yours. I belong to you now. Exciting isn’t it? You could do this or you could so that. You might want […]

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Roots Revisited

….we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.  ‎Louis de Bernières In my post, Roots, I wrote about the impact that change and loss had on our relationship and […]

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Respect the Rules

Rules are pretty key to our relationship, although even without that I am a person who likes to have rules to follow. I suppose that is why a D/s marriage works so well for me as having rules and structure makes me feel safe. It makes sense of things and […]

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Lifestyle submissive - submissy

Lifestyle Submissive

What is a Lifestyle Submissive? I would term myself as a lifestyle submissive. To me this means that I am submissive to my husband 24/7; this is not to say that I am actively submitting every minute of every day. I work and I sleep and I do the regular […]

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long distance D/s

From a Distance

The topic for our chat last night on The SWC was D/s from a Distance. Basically the focus was on how you keep the dynamic going and make it work when you are not physically together. This is something that we have talked about before on a number of occasions […]

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Maintaining my mindset

Maintaining my Mindset

I am having some trouble maintaining my mindset at the moment. This does happen sometimes, usually when the stuff of life has de-railed us somewhat from the goal of our happily ever after. Some of these things are surmountable and other things seem to be less so. This has been […]

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light-bulb moments

Ahhhhhh!

I feel like I have had one of those great light-bulb moments of enlightenment about my submission, HisLordships’s Dominance and how that works within our D/s relationship. How has this come about three years down the road? Like most things really. By chance, by being open to new things, by […]

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discipline quote

More Discipline

If you follow my blog, you will already have read my post on Discipline and Punishment and will know that punishment has never formed a big part of our dynamic. We did try it initially of course as we had read that was what you were supposed to do. It didn’t really […]

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service

Service

I have always said that I am not a ‘service sub’. My evidence for this has been the fact that I don’t particularly like doing chores (it certainly doesn’t turn me on) and that I complete household tasks as and when required and because they need to be done, so […]

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Patience and sub-frenzy

Patience and Sub-frenzy

I have never been a patient person. If there is something ahead, good or bad, I am inclined to want to get on with whatever it is. I don’t like waiting, and really I am not very good at it. I get a bit stressed and do not engage as […]

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Active Submission - Jack Vetriano picture of woman exposing her breast to man

Active Submission

Active submission is the topic for the chat we are having tonight at The SafeworD/s Club so, as I was doing some preparation for that anyway, I thought that I may as well form it into a post. The great thing about talking about a topic is that you are able to […]

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Spotlight on Communication

I mentioned in School’s Out for the Summer that Saturday mornings are one of the scheduled times that HisLordship and I devote to honest, open discussion.  It occurred to me then that I had never really written anything about how we build this sort of communication in to our dynamic.  It is so […]

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Intimacy and Vulnerability - F Scott Fitzgerald quote

Intimacy and Vulnerability

I wrote about Vulnerability in a previous post and my main focus then was reflecting on the journey that I had been through in terms of making myself more vulnerable to HisLordship. I see it as being such an important part of our relationship and I wrote about how I […]

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Wednesday Canesday

When HisLordship first introduced regular caning on a Wednesday, I’ll admit that I wondered why.  I am not sure why I had this reaction as I like it when he canes me but I think that I worried it might feel different if it was a regular scheduled thing and […]

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Submissive Questions - the cognitive triangle

Submissive Questions

Why do I ask myself submissive questions?All behaviour is communication whether it is based on something that you say or something that you do. So the way you behave will say something to those around about you about what you are thinking and what you are feeling. Your behaviour will […]

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bread and butter D/s

The house that D/s built

Recently a friend asked me an interesting question. What is the bread and butter of your D/s? I had to think about this for a while and later on I discussed it with Sir as the process led me to evaluate what we were doing and discover why, at times, […]

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vulnerability

Vulnerability

My recent post on Humiliation attracted some interesting comments. I love it when this happens as I think that sharing and hearing from others really helps to develop your thinking. One such comment was from Jen. I know that a lot of you already follow Jen’s Blog but if not, and you […]

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Some Like it Rough

A number of women I speak to seem to enjoy rough sex sometimes and I guess that is why being Dominated can work for many. You are vulnerable, at the mercy of someone else, sometimes bound, senses blocked, just focussing on the sensations as the moment builds. I have also […]

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