Well. As you can see. I took another break again. This is the longest break I have had so far. But the fact that the past year has seen a few, probably tells me something.
And I will tell you.
I have wondered about whether or not continuing to blog was something I wanted to do. Shock, horror! It is something that has always brought me pleasure, and I am proud of what I have done here, but my writing has always been about my D/s relationship, and my growth as a submissive within that.
For some time now, I have felt that growth wasn’t really happening as it had previously. I have always made this blog about my journey, and it isn’t that that journey has ended, more that it doesn’t feel as blogable as it did. Maybe not even that, but I do feel like I have said most of what I have to say on the related topics, so it has been hard to decide where to take things.
I have always enjoyed sharing new content and new thinking and new discoveries. But I feel like I have settled into a convenient place where I am happy and content to enjoy, rather than pushing for more. I know that this is not the first time I have said this either, and that has added to this sort of circular going round and round feeling I have.
The fact that this realisation related to my D/s, as well as to the sites which are part of the way we express things, made it even more shocking really. My life has been created around what I do. What I do (in no particular order) is to be in a particular style of relationship, live it, think about it, learn from it and write about it.
So what do I do when I feel that doing it has just become part of what and who I am, and that it is not really noteworthy, blogworthy, discussionworthy, in the way that it was.
Well, I suppose that I take a break. And I think. And in that time I fill the space with all the other things that were always there and making me feel that I did not have enough time for them.
I could write about those things, of course. There has been growth there, and learning, but to do that is hard because it (a) doesn’t really fit what I have created here, and (B) which is a capital because although it come second it is much bigger than (a) as a reason, is making me more identifiable as a vanilla person. Yes. Back to that!
So anyway, I have hummed and hahed, and here I am. And that, by default, is a decision. I am back. Back from my break. And because I was on a break, but not broken, thankfully, I am able to pick things up again fairly easily. Our D/s was not broken either, although we have probably been less active than at points – hormones and blah, blah, blah ….. and life.
So, yeah, watch this space. I am hoping it will be filled with something more than a brain dump that has been writing itself for a week or so. Over on The SWC I have still been running chats and even writing, which feels easier than here as it is less about growth and more about what I know.
But what I do know is that there must still be an angle, even if the angle is that this is less about the journey and more about the destination! But we will see!
For something kinkier, why not check out my posts about Play, Scenes and Kink.