I took a break

I took a break but I am not broken

Well. As you can see. I took another break again. This is the longest break I have had so far. But the fact that the past year has seen a few, probably tells me something.

And I will tell you.

I have wondered about whether or not continuing to blog was something I wanted to do. Shock, horror! It is something that has always brought me pleasure, and I am proud of what I have done here, but my writing has always been about my D/s relationship, and my growth as a submissive within that.

For some time now, I have felt that growth wasn’t really happening as it had previously. I have always made this blog about my journey, and it isn’t that that journey has ended, more that it doesn’t feel as blogable as it did. Maybe not even that, but I do feel like I have said most of what I have to say on the related topics, so it has been hard to decide where to take things.

I have always enjoyed sharing new content and new thinking and new discoveries. But I feel like I have settled into a convenient place where I am happy and content to enjoy, rather than pushing for more. I know that this is not the first time I have said this either, and that has added to this sort of circular going round and round feeling I have.

The fact that this realisation related to my D/s, as well as to the sites which are part of the way we express things, made it even more shocking really. My life has been created around what I do. What I do (in no particular order) is to be in a particular style of relationship, live it, think about it, learn from it and write about it.

So what do I do when I feel that doing it has just become part of what and who I am, and that it is not really noteworthy, blogworthy, discussionworthy, in the way that it was.

Well, I suppose that I take a break. And I think. And in that time I fill the space with all the other things that were always there and making me feel that I did not have enough time for them.

I could write about those things, of course. There has been growth there, and learning, but to do that is hard because it (a) doesn’t really fit what I have created here, and (B) which is a capital because although it come second it is much bigger than (a) as a reason, is making me more identifiable as a vanilla person. Yes. Back to that!

So anyway, I have hummed and hahed, and here I am. And that, by default, is a decision. I am back. Back from my break. And because I was on a break, but not broken, thankfully, I am able to pick things up again fairly easily. Our D/s was not broken either, although we have probably been less active than at points – hormones and blah, blah, blah ….. and life.

So, yeah, watch this space. I am hoping it will be filled with something more than a brain dump that has been writing itself for a week or so. Over on The SWC I have still been running chats and even writing, which feels easier than here as it is less about growth and more about what I know.

But what I do know is that there must still be an angle, even if the angle is that this is less about the journey and more about the destination! But we will see!

For something kinkier, why not check out my posts about Play, Scenes and Kink.

Posted in Submissive Journal and tagged , , , , .

17 Comments

  1. I am glad to know that you are well, submissy. I have always enjoyed reading anything you have to share. Daddy and I have been in a bit of a D/s slump lately, but writing is essential to me. So, I went and started a second blog, where I write about some of my vanilla interests. You strike me as someone who gets a lot from the writing process, so perhaps something like this might work for you too. Take good care. XOXO

    • I have wondered about that to be honest and I might get there. At the moment I am busy again with the SWC as I really need to make more of that. I think I would end up falling down the rabbit hole if I started something new but we will see! I think it will happen in time. Missy x

  2. I have enjoyed your blogs and I have read past blogs too. You are Missy in all but like you said, with growth so there is a change in your views. You could always visit a past blog and see if you feel the same or just keep writing of the now. No matter the content, I am here to read and enjoy…

    • Thanks Vixen. I think I will try to revisit some posts and see if I can add to and update some of them a bit. Missy x

  3. I, for one, am happy to hear about a d/s relationship that may just be cruising, in a happy and comfortable course, rather than seeking to expand and explore.

    • Hi Mister Archie. Thank you for your support. I will try to keep going. Sometimes it just seems there isn’t anything new to say as we are doing the same things we always have done. I am going to try though. I have really missed writing and the engagement with other people on here. Missy x

  4. Nice to see you back and know you’re ok. I did sent you a message and a picture asking after you I do t know if you got? Anyhow it’s good to hear about your world again. Perception.

    • Hi Perception. I don’t think I did get it but thank you for thinking of me. I have looked back but can’t seem to find anything there so not sure what went wrong. Missy x

  5. So glad to see your post, Missy! My blogging has been on hiatus due to our major life changes. I missed your posts – they kept me connected during our year-long ordeal of ‘cashing in and moving on’. Seeing your blog (HL’s also as well as SWC activity) has often times been a D/s drop of fresh air during some extremely stressful weeks. These past few months have been nothing less than insane but like yourself we only had a ‘break’. Now that we are getting settled into a new life and living space, I’m looking forward to coming back to the community where we are most comfortable – away from business, family, real estate agents and anything Vanilla that isn’t Haagen Daz. I’m so happy to see you both.

    hugs!
    elskling

    • How lovely to hear from you Elskling and know that you are doing well. It does sound like things have been crazy for you but I look forward to catching up when you have some time. Missy xx

  6. Missy,
    I’m glad you’re not broken and happy that you’re back. Although I didn’t know you were missing because I have been missing a lot myself over the past year. One thing that does help me as a blogger is that I have written some about my vanilla life….. I couldn’t blog my kinky stuff only. However, within that realm of kinkiness, I have not felt free to share to the degree that I sometimes want to like you seem to be able to. I am looking for that to change.

    I am aware that part of what I have always been looking for in my blogging and in people’s responses to it is a certain level of vulnerability. I don’t do shallow well. I can, but I don’t care about the effing weather every day type things …unless I am fishing, then I care about the weather! lmao Anyway, I love Brene Brown and all she shares about vulnerability. It is needed by both partners in a vanilla marriage let alone a DD/D/s one. It is needed in friendships, but many gals are just not willing to take that risk or perhaps a few don’t really know what vulnerability is…..or they do, and it feels too risky to them. Without it, in my opinion, nothing grows very deep.

    Looking forward to all that you share vanilla and kink. Hugs, Windy

    • I love Brene Brown too and totally agree with you about vulnerability. It can be hard to take that chance but so worth it xx

  7. Relationships are sustained in the everyday ways we nourish them; it doesn’t have to be sexual to be sexy, and it doesn’t need to be boundary-smashing to be definitive of your place within a dynamic.

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