Fun, photos and switching things up

Switching for fun

This image was taken a while ago, the first time we went away for a few days with our friends PS and gem. One of the things we had planned to do together was to take some pictures and this was one of the outfits I put on. It is interesting the way you can set clothes to give them a different feel, and the addition of the gloves and crop, with the already slightly bondage feel of the corset, gave me a more Dominant appearance than sometimes. I didn’t end up switching roles but did get a little snapshot.

Whilst wearing less clothing as a submissive has its obvious appeal, I also enjoy the more dressed look of a Domme. I always find it interesting that while the style of other clothes change season to season, depending on what is on the catwalk and deemed fashionable, kinky clothing tends to be timeless. Leather doesn’t date, fishnets don’t go our of fashion and heels, boots and corsets are enduring in their appeal. Equally, these items can be worn well by those either side of the D/s slash.

Wearing certain clothes can alter how you feel and on this occasion, the response I got pushed me into a more playful mindset. I wouldn’t describe it as Dominant as such, but certainly more assertive. I felt sexy, and this allowed me to be more open to exploring the effect that had on others. I posed for some pictures and by the time someone suggested we took some with gem over my knees, I was happy to try this and to give her a spanking at the same time.

While it started for effect, I could see how easily you can get caught up in something like spanking. Her vulnerability, as opposed to mine, gave me a strength that fed feelings I didn’t usually have. We didn’t do this for long, but it let me see how allowing yourself to slip into a different role means that you can tap into other parts of yourself and explore things you might not usually do. Switching roles is not something that we do much, but we have tried on occasion, and it reminded of the way I feel then.

I have heard lots of submissives say, I could never do that, as if trying their hand at something dominant would make them somehow less of a sub. I think this is nonsense, we can all do the things that we want to, but what you get from them can be different. I don’t say that everyone is a natural switch, but I believe that if you are, it doesn’t make you less Dominant or less submissive than those who only explore one side. Equally, if you take a more Dominant role, acting as top for a scene, then it doesn’t have an impact on your natural default as a sub.

I would argue that switching on whatever level is about mindset. Mindset is something that you have control over, it is a choice to push your thoughts in a certain direction and respond and behave in a certain way. Not everyone will want to switch up roles, even if only for the appearance of a photo, but that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t be able to if it was asked of them or they wanted to try. The line between what is ‘D’ and what is ‘s’ can be really vague and lots is down to how it is perceived within that particular relationship.

I can’t say that behaving in a more Dominant way is easy for me. I have to be pushed into the right mindset for it, but sometimes HL will challenge me with doing a sensation scene for him. I can channel my focus into meeting his needs and, although it doesn’t arouse me in the same way it would if I were on the receiving end, it is rewarding and I love the closeness and intimacy that comes from me playing with him. Switching roles also reminds me how challenging it is to be in charge, just even for a short space of time, so it is often a good learning experience too.


I have linked this post up to Monochromerotic where the theme this time is ’legs’. My legs are one part of my body that I quite like and so I am often more pleased with the images of legs than with some of my others.

  • Hot legs
  • legs in fishnets in front of the door
  • Beyond Black and White
  • discarded underwear
  • Endings and beginnings
  • Back on track
  • Bottom half
  • asking for dominance and submission
  • Submissy - submissive Wife
Posted in Feeling Good, Sexuality, Throwing Caution To The Window and tagged , , , , .


  1. I remember this very well and know that gem very much enjoyed being bent over your knee. I only wish I could ooze sexy domme energy from being able to dress like you are here, corset doesn’t look nearly as good on me.

  2. Missy,
    This writing and in particular your thoughts on a subs who say “oh I could never do that!”, is only one of the many reasons why I enjoy this space and all those who are in charge and frequent it.

  3. I agree that the slash can sometimes be a very blurred line. And just because you explore one role doesn’t make you any “less” in another role. It’s also about interpersonal dynamics just as much as it is about “activities.” We all give off different energies; what feeds that energy is going to depend on the personalities involved.

    And I think “I could never…!!” is an extremely limiting attitude. Good for you for eschewing it!

  4. This corset, cane and gloves create the entourage of a dominant mistress. It would be interesting to see you in this role.
    And you have beautiful slender legs in all the photos.

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