Getting to the bottom

Getting to the bottom with Dominance and submission

There seems to be something about bottoms and submission. I know that this is a bit of a play on words, as we submissives are clearly all bottoms at heart, but that is not what I am referring to. I mean the other bottom, the physical one. I am not sure exactly how it works, and I have never seen it spoken or written about as a thing, but within a D/s power exchange, there seems to be a focus around the bottom, or bum or ass or whichever other term you use. Clearly my experience is all set within a Male/female dynamic, so I am not sure whether this is the same when the sub is male, but for many of us, it seems to be the case.

A spank on the bottom

Firstly, much of impact play is focussed around the bottom, and most of the subs I know are used to more than the odd swat there as a reminder of how to behave and what is expected of them. In fact, the odd swat can be for nothing more than establishing ownership, and although I have never seen this documented anywhere, it seems to be a natural response from many Doms to do this. Is it the association with the age old discipline of a naughty child? I am not sure. Bums are often considered sexy, but then so are boobs, and the same attention doesn’t tend to be given to them or to other body parts as readily.

In many dynamics the slap on the bottom goes further and a sound spanking on the behind (with or without an implement is used to reprimand or punish the sub. However, sometimes it is used simply to maintain their mindset and show them, through their bottom, who is top! For some this will happen regularly in order to keep them in order, and for others it forms part of their discipline or training. So what does this mean? Is the most effective way to establish and maintain a submissive’s obedience, best learnt through their derriere?

An erotic spanking

And even for those who don’t use spanking and impact on the bottom as part of reinforcing the rules and rituals, there are plenty who engage in a more erotic use of it. There is surely a reason that when you mention BDSM, and Dominance and submission in particular, spanking is one of the things that forms a picture readily in our minds. Again it is used as another form of control. Slowly, as the impact and attention on that part increases, you are required to let go of yourself and embrace the pain of your every pinkening bottom.

There is a vulnerability in being spanked by someone. While not every couple who engages in erotic spankings is D/s by any stretch of the imagination, it is a clear marker of just who is submitting to who at that point in time. It can be good in that sense for reinforcing a power exchange. and the associated feelings that go with this for a submissive, will likely help their mindset. Receiving a sound spanking of any kind has a way of leaving you feeling calm, relaxed and highly pliable. Your own will has been set aside and you are ready to be steered by another. Perhaps there is a reason they call it the sweet spot!

Anal play and ownership

For this reason, I think that spanking or impact on the bottom can be a clear marker of who is boss and who is in charge. And speaking of things on the bottom, having things in your bottom seems to be just as common for many who practice D/s as a lifestyle. Being plugged can be a strong reminder that your body is not your own. It is not only a symbolic reminder that somewhere so private is at the disposal of someone else as and when they choose, but also a physical one, as your body relaxes around the plug and becomes more open and receptive to being taken there, if that should happen.

Although anal play is becoming more common in mainstream relationships, it is still one of those taboos which D/s couples seem to take advantage of. It doesn’t have to be anal sex necessarily, but the attention and focus on putting things in there, just because you can, adds another dimension to the idea of possession and being owned that can be quite powerful. So one way or another, it seems fairly common within Dominance and submission to be getting to the bottom! And once there, most seem to find a way to make it a key and natural part of what they do.

Accessing all areas

Of course, attention to the bottom might not just come via its use in play, but can be by it being a part of the body which becomes accessible upon request. An instruction not to wear underwear for example, so that you can be easily displayed or touched, is not uncommon. If I am wearing a dress, HL will often ask me to lift up my skirt or clothing, simply so he can look at my bum, or choose to touch it if he wants. I think of all my body parts, this is the one that he has taken the most control of. He uses it inside and out for his own pleasure and, often, just because he can, and for me this reinforces the fact that I am his and that I submit.

getting to the bottom

HL is using a prompt for Monochromerotic and this time it is, you guessed it, bottoms! Why not head over and see who else is flashing a little bit of cheek!

Posted in Submissive Musings, Throwing Caution To The Window and tagged , , , , , .


  1. Great post. Never thought of that, but now that you mentioned it, my butt is spanked daily. Even smacked randomly during the day. No underwear ever except 1 week a month just so I can show my butt when told to. Plugs are another thing. I never know when I get up if He will insert one of the 9 plugs until I’m told to bend over.

    Thanks for the great post

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