I am standing still, waiting for him. He is watching me but he hasn’t made a move.
My body is sore, tense in its pose, my muscles aching for release.
The awareness of my physical self and my inability to allow it comfort challenges my mind and, it too, slips into the waiting.
It flits around and then hovers above this moment.
In time I notice that my body has adjusted. No longer fighting this position it feels first just heavy, then nothing.
As I register this, my mind follows and I slip into acceptance.
Just then I hear him.
It is a good few weeks since I posted a Saturday short. While Standing Still is a snapshot into submission and one of its aspects, I feel literally as if I am standing still. I suppose I am in two minds and thinking a lot about what matters and where I want my direction to be. We haven’t been taking many pictures either so while my Saturday Shorts were intended as flash pieces which were inspired by any image, I got a bit hung up on them being autogroahical. One of my failings has always been to subconsciously create sets of rules to follow as that makes things more structured and I feel more in control. For this reason I find it hard to break away and tend to keep everything going, adding to what I have.
I also find it easier to move forward with new ideas and projects, whereas at the moment I am more taking stock of what to focus on and what to let go. I find this much more difficult as rather than feeling like progress it can feel a little sad, like closing a door. I know that things evolve and sometimes things just fizzle out but I often want to feel more certain than I do that I am making the right decision. Anyway, watch this space, I guess, as time will tell and I know that often it is necessary to clear out some space so that you can see what you have and utilise it properly.
That said, my Saturday Shorts were never intended to be a fixed weekly thing. They are pieces of short flash where I use an image as inspiration, limiting myself to either 100, 150 or 200 words. If you enjoyed reading Standing Still then you might want to check out some of my other shorts by following the link on the badge below. If you write your own short then just leave a link in the comments so I know to come and check it out.