sex toys

Sex Toys ~ How we use them and the ones we love

Sex toys is the current topic for Tell Me About and surprisingly I have never really written about them before. We have LOADS of toys and so, although I am linking to Wicked Wednesday’s peep show prompt, this is more of a peep at a virtual show and tell than it is a traditional peep show. We have done both virtual toy show and tells on the SWC and real show and tells when we have met up with other D/s couples and it is always quite interesting to share the things that you love. As time has gone by I have realised that there is no perfect toy, and what works for one may not work for another, so we have learnt from experience what is good for us.

I think that most couples into kink for a while will have accumulated a fairly eclectic range of sex toys. Initially we bought quite a few as we wanted to try everything we could, but we have slowed down with this now as we pretty much know what we like. We are fortunate the past few years to have been asked to review some sex toys and that is always nice as it means that you try things you might not have otherwise. Other reviews I might just write because I love the toy and feel it might be of interest to others. If you want to read some of my sex toy reviews the just click the link to visit that category.

My Favourite Sex Toys

A wand really is magic

We had a wand for a few years before trying The Doxy when we saw it at Sexpo back in 2015. To be honest, we fell in love with it and went back the following day to tell the sales rep how well it worked. For those who haven’t tried a wand, it seems to be the one must-have toy, and although I have spoken to some subs who find it too intense, the majority of people love it. For us, there was no looking back and it was a winner on every level. The one we have is a real workhorse and it is used virtually every time we play at some point or other. It is great for forced orgasms and is the one toy that HL will use on himself as well as on me.

Hitting the spot

So I am one of those people: You know the ones who get off mainly from clit stimulation. The wand works for this when we play because the large head and the strength of the vibrations mean that it is easy for HL to hit the spot. However, if I am masturbating then I would choose one of two clit stim sex toys: either the Svakom Siren or the Satisfyer High Fashion. These toys are quite different as one delivers the lightest of touch very directly onto my clit where the other is a sucker style toy, but both do a splendid job as far as I am concerned. While they are less easy for HL to use on me due to need for precision application in terms of location and intensity, the are fab for me to use on myself. So that is what I do!

Let’s get electric

I am not sure whether an EStim kit counts as a toy or equipment, but anyone who follows my blog will know that this has become a firm favourite for us. I have written about the ways that we use it with the pads, one on each bum cheek, and this delivers nearly every time. Because we rarely have the house to ourselves, being able to play quietly has become a necessity, and this kit means that we can indulge in something which feels a little like impact, without the noise that actual impact would create. Although I like some pain with my pleasure, this kit is gentle enough to allow me to relax, while at the same time packing the punch needed for the intensity I crave.

The search for something humpable

Because I like the combination of pain and pleasure, to be able to have something to stimulate me while HL is engaged in other activities would be really good. He often has me humping the wand while he plays in other ways and while this works on the humiliation level, it can be tricky to find a position which is comfortable enough to last the duration. We have searched for this sort of toy without much success. It is hard to find something for clit stim which can sit where it needs to, especially if you are laying face down, as I often seem to be. We have tried quite a number of toys with this purpose in mind, and although they work reasonably there has been none that ticks all the boxes on the compatibility front.

Glass in the arse

It was HL who brought the glass into our lives and then it was he who inserted it neatly into my bottom one night. We both love the look of the glass toys we have and I like the weight and feel of them when used anally. Vaginally I can find them too hard and when I tense my muscles it hurts me but I think this is probably my anatomy (kids and scar tissue) rather than anything sinister with the toys. I particularly like the feeling of the glass corkscrew for anal play, and they also have the advantage that they can be used well at different temperatures if you, like us, are into sensation play.

The game changers

Every once in a while, you come across something that our performs your expectations. The suspension cuffs were one of these things. HL had wanted some for a while but I had not really thought that I would enjoy them that much. I don’t like having to hold my own weight, not just from laziness, but because it means I struggle to relax and it takes from my headspace. Being suspended by these cuffs was a whole new experience though and one that I love. For some reason, they allow me to hang in a way I didn’t realise they would, so I was able to let go and enjoy a sexy new position.

Another toy (piece of equipment) that has been a winner is a lube syringe that we bought very cheaply online. This came really from a fantasy that I shared with HL where I told him that the thought of him squirting lube into me using a syringe turned me on. No sooner were the words out of my mouth than it seems the lube syringe was being inserted. This is great for anal play as you can never have enough lube and so we use it most of the time when we are up to anal activities, especially the more intense types of play.

Made with love and care

HL loves to make sex toys, either from scratch or by perverting the use of existing items. Two of the most successful for me have been his play bench and the howler, both of which I love. Clearly there is something special about a kinky toy which has been his brain child and project over time, so these things have the added emotional association as well as being successful toys on a very practical level. The bench he designed cleverly folds flat to be stored under the bed and he will use it to keep me immobilised and at his mercy. The howler has been the most successful impact toy we have because I much prefer thuddy to stingy and you can’t get much thuddier than the deep tissue ripples that are caused by this home-made toy.

And then there were more ….

While these are the regular players in our smorgasbord of sex toys, there are so many others that we would hate to be without. We have some great nipple clamps, a pussy flogger I enjoy and butt plugs including my tail. There are impact toys such as our favourite cane and a dragon tail for more intense and stingier sensations. In terms of where to go next, HL has fitted a suspension point in the ceiling and we would really like to try out a sex swing as we think that could be a lot of fun. He is spending more time on making toys too so there is a spanking bench in the pipeline that should be really exciting to try.

At the end of the day, as much as I love toys, he can take me apart with his words and not much can beat being over his knee for a sound spanking so I think in some ways, it’s not what you use but the way that you use it that makes the difference. We are lucky to have found some great toys and have worked out what we enjoy and why, over time. That said, we are always open to new ideas and I know that if I were to write this post again in a year or so, there would be some interesting additions to the list.

Posted in Play, Scenes and Kink, Tell Me About ... and tagged , , , , , , .


  1. Reviews of sex toys give a general idea of their design, operation and key features, but nevertheless, until you experience it yourself, you will not understand how good or bad it is. Therefore, toys tend to accumulate. Some of them become anything, while others gather dust for a long time in a drawer.

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