Where can I find resources for education and support?

Where can I find resources for education and support? Reader Question

I am a married wife who has recently started to explore her submissiveness. Since my husband is not a Dominant I am currently being trained by a Male Dom who is fully aware of my marriage and my husband’s complete support. I W ould love to connect with other sub wives and couples who have a similar dynamic and wondered if you could help as I am unable to find such resources for education and support. Where can I find resources for education and support?

D and K

Hi D and K,

I actually answered a reader question which was similar recently but was asking about books so if you are looking for reading material you could check this post out for suggestions. I have to say that I have found blogging to be great for both information and support. There are loads of great blogs out there which deal with all aspects of Dominance and submission and I am sure that you will be able to find some which you can relate to. I know that sometimes when I read what other subs have written it is like I am looking in the mirror and I learn a lot about myself.

There is something amazing when someone else seems to understand the way you think or feel and by connecting through the comments you can let the writer know and ask further advice or information. Many of us also include links to our social media accounts so that would be another way to get in touch. Bloggers love to receive comments and enjoy interacting with readers, and who doesn’t like to find a kindred spirit? I think when life makes you feel a little like you don’t fit in, it is a welcome thing to suddenly find others who want the same sorts of things as you do.

Tell Me About is a resource site for writing on alternative lifestyle topics. Tell Me About … Dominance and submission a meme there where other bloggers will respond to a prompt on an aspect of D/s. Hopefully this will mean that you are introduced to a range of different voices all writing on similar topics and so I am sure that you will find some who speak to you. I also have the TMA list where there is a brief bio and links to regular contributors to the site, so that would be a great place to start. In addition we have a podcast where you will find interviews of some of the bloggers we know and love.

In terms of meeting other submissives, we also run an online D/s community called The SafeworD/s Club. There is an open chat but also scheduled chats where we discuss all things D/s, and even a book group. We have a blog which includes posts by members, and forums where you can ask questions and interact with others in less real-time than on the live chat. Make sure to sign up for The Sub’s Space (our sub only group!) The events calendar gives details of the scheduled chat topics and they run at UK times as well as times which are better for those based across the pond.

I realise that so far I have only highlighted my own projects. This is because connecting with other subs for information and support was what I wanted to do when I started out, and when I looked around it wasn’t easy to find places which did it in my time zone. I am sure that there are lots of great sites out there but these are the ones I can personally recommend. Hopefully I can encourage you to come along to the chats some time – we are a friendly bunch and you would be most welcome. There are actually other submissives and couples there in a similar situation to yourself.

I hope that this helps and thank you for getting in touch. Good luck, have fun, and thank you for helping to make my world a little kinkier, one question at a time.

missy x

If you are reading this and have a question that you would like me to answer, then just head over to my Ask Me Anything page, type it in the box, and hit submit.

I am also aware of the wealth of experience and information available in the blogging world, so if you are reading this and have your own thoughts and advice, then please add them in the comments section.

Posted in Ask Me Anything and tagged , , , , , .


  1. I would like to add my experiences. I joined fetlife when I first started exploring. I met Sir around the same time and so it was useful to have his support in how to deal with the inevitable numpties of kinky/sexual social media sites. (This isn’t the case at the safeword/s club, everyone has been entirely respectful there)

    Through fetlife I found munches and people. I always attended events on my own, but would touch base with the host, or someone else on the “going” list, beforehand. As a single woman going on my own was great (though I had no alternative) as it meant that I had to talk to people. If I’d attended with another (Sir or a partner) I’d have sat talking to them instead of engaging elsewhere.

    Over the years I’ve settled in to my local community, learnt so much and also had the opportunity to support/teach/guide others in their journey.

    I hope you find your people.

    • That is so helpful barefoot. Thank you. I wondered about mentioning fet but I am not very involved in it and I know that there can be some unwanted attention. There are also loads of positives about it too so it’s good to hear your experience. Thank you. Missy x

  2. This is a question that arises for all beginners in a D / s relationship. And from time to time you have to answer it over and over again. It seems to me that you are the person who will not leave such a question unanswered, like a voice crying in the wilderness.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.