Play scenes and training

What you need to know about play, scenes and training

There was a comment on my post, Play with me and play with you, which about play, scenes and training. Submitted To You said, ‘I read about “play” and “scenes” but nobody says what they are or gives any details. I don’t have a clue what they entail but from what I’ve read, I think I want to know. Could you enlighten me please?’ Of course, I thought, searching my blog for the post I had written. What I actually discovered was that she was right and I don’t have anything explaining what play and scenes are. I know that I have written about it in one of the forums as The SWC, but it seems, not on my blog. So promising a longer post, I left her a brief reply, vowing to write an actual post about it.

I began this post and even made several starts, but somehow it just never got to press. When I saw the prompt for Wicked Wednesday this week was to use a comment on a blog post as a starter for another post, it reminded me. And so here I am, a shocking time later, finally putting my thoughts to print! I have to say that these definitions are about how things work for us. We are in a lifestyle dynamic which means that our D/s is woven through more aspects than just the sexual power exchange, so what is written here is about how play, scenes and training would sit within that.

Play, scenes and training are terms which are used within a Dominant and submissive relationship and they refer to the various ways that you employ a power exchange in a physical or sexual sense. If you are in a lifestyle dynamic then training could be interpreted more loosely and would likely include non physical-sexual forms of training too.

What is play?

Basically for us ‘play’ describes the times that we use the power exchange as part of our sexual interaction with each other. We would talk about ‘playing’ or ‘playing with you’ etc. We would incorporate many types of D/s play into this such as wax play, sensation play, impact play etc so there is usually a large element of kink as well as the power exchange. Although we might be playing with impact, we would tend to focus on just one or two things and would usually play for up to about an hour. This would be different to other times when we might have ‘vanilla sex’ where there would be sex with no real power exchange or kink, although in reality there is often a ‘twist’.

I suppose you could describe our play as the foreplay part. While most of our play is sexually charged, penetrative sex does not need to be the outcome, and although invariably it is, it tends to come after a long period of playing with each other. This will involve touch and the awakening of the senses but will also have a vocal element which is designed to engage the brain. More and more I have found it is the control of my mind that is key and that is why we have explored erotic humiliation and often add an element of this into our play.

Posts which describe our play include:
The Sound of Thunder
Electro-play – Master’s Touch
A Spank, an Orgasm and an Audience

What is a scene?

Our ‘scenes’ would also involve power exchange and kink, but they would tend to be longer and incorporate more than one type of play, or more than one thing within it. So during an impact scene there might be hand spanking, the paddle, the crop and then the cane. Often a scene would climax with sex but not always. Our scenes tend to have a theme to them and they will be planned with a build up and proper after care whereas play might be more ad-hoc.

Usually a scene will involve much more planning and preparation for HL. He will get out the toys he is going to use and often sets me tasks to get me in the mindset. The scene itself will have a beginning, a middle and an end and so there is a period of warm up as well as a cool down or some aftercare following it. While both scenes and play can be intense and involve a lot of emotions, the duration of a scene means that it can really take it out of us both – in a good way of course.

I always feel that play sort of keeps the sexual energy ticking over but a scene can really get things fired up. The sustained intensity leads to a really strong connection between us and that often spills out into to following day or days. Scenes often include more pushing of boundaries and limits too so that would be another reason for the heightened emotions. I suppose it takes usual play and adds to it tenfold and it can feel quite addictive.

Posts about scenes we have done include:
Hotel Scene
Forced Orgasm Scene
Schoolgirl Scene

What is training?

We have used training less than the other two. For us training would be when we are trying to develop an aspect of our relationship so we will do that thing over and over for a period. Or we would also call it training when we are learning something new, which might take a while or it might just be for a short period. We might train with a new toy to find out how best to use it and know the limits with it, or it might be a behaviour thing where we are trying to make something part of our dynamic, like learning positions etc.

We also use training to go deeper into something, for example with caning where we did it regularly as a focus to see how that would work and where it would lead. During training there would tend to be more factual or analytical communication as I don’t let go in quite the same way. I have posted less about training than play and scenes as the way we do it doesn’t really make for engaging writing. There are bits and pieces laced through my blog posts, rather than entire articles. I have fictionalised a lot of this in April’s Training Journal but must really write some more specific posts about just what we do.

To find more examples of our play, scenes and training please check out the category

Related post: So tell me, what is a scene?

Wicked Wednesday
Posted in Play, Scenes and Kink.


  1. I totally agree with your explanation about play and scenes, as that is how we do it too. Not that Master T is a big planner on scenes, but when we had dates with others, those were all scenes which were planned beforehand, more or less.
    ~ Marie xox

  2. For myself, I would certainly appreciate a library, literally, of play and scene ideas. I would love to see the ideas folks have come up with for this aspect of their D/s relationship. Coming up with something new can take quite a bit of time, and for me, never quite works out what I imagined in my head and reality. Either I get too impatient, don’t think things through enough or my sub doesn’t respond quite like I anticipated.

  3. Play for me has always just been a broad term for kinky activity. I do 24/7 power exchange so I don’t consider the PE to be play, just a constant dynamic. I’ve only ever really used the word scene to describe play at parties or with a play partner. I’ve never used it to describe activity within my relationships, not that I’ve had much experience with those.

    I have a vague concept of what training is in general, but I’ve always had a weirdly negative reaction to the term. Not sure why.

    I have a glossary tab on my blog for common kink terms and acronym. I think I might need to update it now.

  4. We’ve never really defined them in our D/s dynamic, but play has always been anything that we do that is kinky. The 24/7 lifestyle that we live is just our life. I’ve never really used the term scene with us–it’s just extended play, but I get the distinction and it is definitely valid.

    And training isn’t really something that we do a lot of either.

    This was a really good description of the differences. Thank you!

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