lost sex

Lost Sex ~ a short Sunday reflection

I am writing about libido for another post and have been thinking a lot about desire and how it works. I think in most relationships there will be times when you almost forget how good things can be, time passes, and you slip into a place where you are no longer connecting in the physical or sexual sense in the way you usually would. When this rights itself, the sex we have is of a particular kind. I have called it lost sex because the feelings are familiar but also reminiscent of something lost being found.

Sometimes, for some reason, you realise it has been too long. You don’t know how and you don’t know why but it happens. What you do about that will be down to you but when you do find each other again it can feel like coming home. Sex with a familiar person, is …. familiar. Rather than that being a negative it can be a strong positive thing. There is a huge recognition, words that don’t need to be said, a confidence and an acceptance.

It is a strange thing when it happens. The combination of forgotten feelings, or at least feelings pushed aside, has allowed you to turn your mind from what you enjoy. It overwhelms you now as you come together, fingers finding the right spot, touching in the right way, whispers of the words that work. It feels both new and old in its pleasure. It is vividly recognisable, like a lapsed memory suddenly felt again.

You wonder why, when it feels so good, you haven’t done it for a while. You wonder how you could have forgotten or misplaced these feelings when they are so life sustaining. Fleeting thoughts, quickly processed, are soon replaced as your need is reignited and kicks in with an almost urgent demand. You feel the obsession that should have kept this going and are driven by it now more than ever, almost desperate, once you are awakened to it all again.

Afterwards, still buzzing, it feels like something that had never left. You wrap those feelings around you and think about what might come next. Anything feels possible again now.

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Posted in Feeling Good, Sexuality and tagged , , , , .


  1. It is a fascinating concept, that something so satisfying as great sex can be forgotten so quickly. It’s like every orgasm is the first one ever. And then, the realization that you can’t remember why it’s been so long.

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