It has been a hard week for us. We have had some difficult things to deal with and I can say with certainty that we are not over the worst. A positive to come out of this though is the way that we feel about each other. Despite trying to manage, we have been able to support each other and remain connected. So this is a celebration of the fact that we reach for each other in love and lust, and that remains a constant.
In the darkness we speak without words. We find each other and nothing needs to be said. It is not play, not the usual way that things fold and unfold and shift and shape. It begins with tender touch, soft, comforting and then builds into something more demanding, something with suggestion, something that requires an answer without ever asking a question. We are moved by our feelings of need for each other.
It is not a selfish need but a need to communicate and to fasten ourselves together. To feel together and breathe together, to combine what we are in acknowledgement of its presence. To replace the hurt and the fear and the sadness with something positive and constructive which is safe and secure. We reach out and dig in, growing ever more persistent in our pursuit of each other.
The lust grows, tangible in the black of the room where the heat from our bodies seems to buzz. We become more needy, more desperate as we find each other and move together, exploring, anticipating, joining. Entwined and combined we have moved past the point where things are gentle and quiet. We lose ourselves to the sensations, the muscle memory reacting and responding as one body answers the echo of the other.
It is a celebration, not of loss and uncertainty of the future, not of what we still don’t know and the things that we do, but of us, our love, our lust, our connection which holds us in its hand and cradles us in something lasting and sure. It is not just what we have but what we are, what we become together. It transcends time and is integral to the borrowed skin that we share in this life. But for now, for tonight, it is ours and it makes us whole.
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