I know it seems odd to write a post about why nipple play isn’t for me. I am usually positive about most types of play but really nipple play just doesn’t do it for me these days. I could say that this was always the case. And actually going back it was, but then I had a complete U-turn where I realised how wrong I had been. I have written about what changed with nipple play and why, so it was quite strange to me to realise that I had reverted to the way I felt previously.
This realisation came about due to the Advent Calendar task over at The SafeworD/s Club. The task was 8 minutes of intense nipple play. I felt initially as if it would be ok although, really it wasn’t doing much for me. This is never easy as HL puts so much effort in and if my head isn’t in the game, my body doesn’t respond. I would have said something if it had been a normal scene but I knew that this was just for fun for the calendar and that a time was set.
As the time wore on though, I began to find it harder. Not my nipples, but lying there while he played with them! It got to the point where the gentle nature of what he was doing was almost too much to bare, but I figured I didn’t have much longer to go so I tried to go with it. All was not lost of course, because the task was also for 8 minutes of intense cock play, so I was soon able to relax into that and really have some fun.
It did get me to thinking though, about what had gone wrong. I am wondering now if I ever liked the gentle teasing of my nipples. I know that I respond when they are squeezed, pinched or hit, so if HL is rough with me, that is another story. He will use the crop, or even the cane and my nipples, as well as my mind, will stand to attention for him. So why not when he is being so loving and tender?
I know that I feel that my brain needs to be engaged before my body responds and I declared to HL following this that I thought I had no erogenous zones. While there is plenty of evidence of my body responding in ways which bring extreme pleasure, we have spoken before about the fact that my mind needs to be turned on first. What works one time may not the next and I think that is because, for me, it is about the Dominance and submission.
D/s play opened my eyes really and my body was suddenly able to experience things in a way which it hadn’t before. Of course, with fantasy, I was always able to get myself there, but suddenly the thoughts in my head were being verbalised and brought to reality in the form of the play were were doing. I still say that I need D/s to become aroused or turned on. I either use thoughts to do that, such as when I masturbate, or I submit to HL and he takes me where he wants me to go.
I know that arousal is psychological more than physical for me and I have written before about how It’s all in the head. In addition to this, I had surgery a while ago on one of my nipples and that has changed how I feel. I lost my connection with them somehow and I realised the other night that although I have healed on the outside, inside things are not back where they were. I feel that I can live without nipple play but, as a submissive, that won’t necessarily be my choice, so this may not be the last turn-around post you read from me.
I think I prefer the colour version of this image. How about you?