The advent task today over at The SafeworD/s Club is ‘6 things’ so I decided to write about 6 things that I love about submission.
Number 1 : Intensity
The first thing I love about submission is the intensity. I have made no secret of the fact that, prior to meeting HL, I had always wanted more. I wanted to give more but I also wanted to matter more. I felt like I was too much though and so I had concluded that I was chasing something I would never find. D/s gives me that intensity: of feeling, of being, and of doing. Intensity is there in my thoughts, my feelings and my actions and it runs through my relationship. I am still shocked in a way that I found a connection with someone on the level that I have and that brings me to my next thing.
Number 2 : Connection
The second thing I love about my submission is the connection I feel to HL. This is everything. It overwhelms me at times because it can feel as if it is tangible and when it dips to a level that I would have been happy with in the past, I miss it and feel like I am adrift. I think this comes from the power exchange and the fact that we are very focussed on the needs of the other. I wouldn’t say that things are ever bad with us but you sort of get used to setting the bar really high. Once you have felt the highs, it makes you think about what you are missing if you don’t have it. The connection is deep and I feel it on all levels: emotional, sexual and spiritual.
Number 3 : Intimacy
The third thing I love about my submission is intimacy. I hadn’t thought much about intimacy before we started DS. I was always quite open in many ways, but in others I kept myself to myself. Suddenly I was able to be open about everything. And not just through choice, it was actually a requirement. This allowed me to become vulnerable with HL and to see that as a strength, because it really supported the connection we had. It allowed the trust between us to deepen even further and that is something that has continued.
Number 4 : Excitement
The fourth thing I love about submission is the excitement. The connection that underpins everything we do it not just sexual but it does mean that there is a often a sexual charge about us. I describe it as not being on boil all the time but on a gentle simmer. This is something that the 24/7 D/s has really helped with as prior to that it felt a bit more on and off, and I found that I was a bit more on and off too. Being open about your deepest, darkest fantasies is hot. Having someone who may well bring them to life is hot. Being in a relationship where your can be turned on easily just with a few words is hot and so is being pushed to, and sometimes past, places you never thought you would go.
Number 5 : Safety
The fifth thing I love about submission is that way that it makes me feel. I am calmer, more confident and stronger because of this dynamic. I am generally happy with the way that things go in my life. Obviously difficult things happen but I feel like I can manage them because I am not on my own. I don’t need a Dominant. I can exist fine myself and manage to get everything done, but I want a Dominant. I want HL as my Dominant. I love the way it makes me feel and the fact that I know that he not only always has my back, but that he is thinking of me and looking out for me. He is my rock and my shelter.
Number 6 : Love
The sixth thing I love about my submission has to be the love that sits at its centre. For me, the love is part of it. We are more than D/s, our relationship is more than D/s and without the D/s we would still love one another. But the love I feel seems more powerful with it. Although love is just a feeling it seems like more than that to me. It is part of us and is part of our power exchange. Our love for one another is demonstrated every single day. Having the other as the focus means that they are never off your mind and you give and receive love in lots of little ways all of the time. Our D/s lives off our love and it also feeds our love, but at the end of the day, my love is for and about HL.
To read what else I have been up to for Advent so far, check out my Advent Calendar 2020. If you would like to see who else is sharing their love as part of The SWC Kinky Community Advent Calendar, the hit the badge and it will take you behind the doors.