Impact Play picture of crop on bottom

Impact Play – beyond spanking

Life Before Impact Play

I often think that spanking is like the gateway drug to impact play. These days it is almost mainstream and, in my opinion, that has to be a good thing. Now, while I do feel that nothing beats a good over the knee spanking at the hand of my Dominant, there are plenty of other tools which are going to hit the spot. Or maybe even hit some spots you didn’t know existed.

I was pretty afraid of impact before we began D/s. Not all impact play was on my hard limits list but caning was, and I think some of it was a soft limit. Most of this was down to fear of the unknown. How sore would it be? Could I take it? What would I get from it? I had way more questions than answers and the associations with some of the implements we discussed added to my trepidation.

We had done a bit of spanking pre D/s, but it had usually consisted more of a few sharp slaps on the arse during sex to heighten things, so it wasn’t until we started to explore that we went further and made it the featured act of the play. Like I said above, for us, this did somewhat open the door to a whole new world. I still felt a sense of apprehension, but my dread was fast becoming overtaken my an sense of excitement and intrigue.

Getting into Impact Play

HL’s Homemade Hitty Things

Part of becoming more open to the idea of impact play came from the fact that HL began to slip a range of makeshift impact toys into our scenes. When I asked about a paddle, he disappeared into the garage and returned some time later, proudly wielding a homemade one fashioned from a piece of two by four. I wonder now if his plan all along was to pique my interest and make me wonder what a shop bought version would be like.

Slowly but surely things changed. That wooden paddle was replaced by one made of leather and fur. The barbeque skewers he trailed across my skin on more than one occasion gave way to a set of wartenberg wheels. And the plastic curtain pole that he used on many an occasion as a substitute cane was certainly key in my decision to remove the cane from my hard limits. Basically, we had been doing impact play without the impact toys. Not only did this reduce my fear, but it also allowed me to see how much I enjoyed it.

The Crop

Feeling more comfortable about impact play, we agreed to buy a crop. I chose one that said it was ‘intermediate’ as I was still pretty nervous of what it might do. I was pleasantly surprised when we tried it and, whether or not it was the one we bought, it had less of a snap about it than HL’s hand. Although we had started with the sexy slapping to pleasure, by this time we were engaging in lengthy scenes where he spanked me bright red to the heavy beat of ‘The Doors’.

You can read more about spanking here, but in comparison, the crop seemed fairly tame. I enjoyed the sting and the slapping sound it made. The marks it left were good too. However, it didn’t become something we used very much of the time and it was always more of a warm up tool, unless used on my nipples and clit where it delivered a sting that took me somewhere I wanted to go.

The Flogger

This leads me nicely onto the flogger. I have dedicated another post to my thoughts on flogging and where I admit that it was also something that didn’t live up to the fear that had rooted in my mind prior to trying it. Actually it didn’t hurt much at all and I was now at the point where I was into impact play and found that a disappointment. For a couple of reasons it just never seemed like the toy that was made for us, but like the crop, when used more intimately it definitely hit the spot. It isn’t that we don’t use the crop and the cane, more that we used other things more.

Exploring Impact Play Further

The Cane

Considering that the cane had been a hard limit starting out, when we finally tried it, I was surprised at how good it felt. Not only had I experienced the homespun plastic version, HL had also made a cane from a piece of wood he had found which he had sanded and filed until it was fit for purpose. By this time I knew my limits and so did he, so I felt safer to let go and enjoy it. The rhythmic tapping motion he used worked well and felt almost therapeutic.

It isn’t that he doesn’t hit me harder with it, more that these strokes are dispersed in amongst the ones that keep me with him, slowly becoming more and more lost in the sensations he created. You can read about what he does here but essentially he builds things up slowly so that I am able to take more and more for him. The harsher hits will be in controlled numbers so that I can manage, ‘3 hard ones on each side,’ and the rhythmic taps will allow me to process the pain and keep going.

The Dragon Tail

A dragon tail is a cross between a flogger and a whip really and you can see a picture of it here. For me I have put it ahead of the cane in my progressively impactful impact toy list, and that is because there is no way to make this more gentle. It is way more than the massage of the flogger and it isn’t possible to keep it tapping away like it is with the cane. The dragon tail whips your skin and leaves amazing marks, although these are like the flogger marks in that they fade fast, rather than the longer lasting welts that can be caused by the cane.

The Howler

The howler is the big boy of the impact toys for me, because I am able to take more with this than with the cane or the dragon tail. While it can be used in a lighter way, the deep thud that reverberates through me is what I most like. As pain goes, thuddy is much more my thing that stingy and something about the way that it feels, allows me to turn the pain into pleasure pretty easily.

HL made the howler from a piece of industrial rubber that was gifted to him by his friend in Norway, who had used it to make the original ‘howler’ himself. I have written about how it feels a couple of times now, and each time there have been requests from people wanting to buy one. Making more of these is something we have spoken about so who knows, the howler might be used more widely in the future. As impact toys go, it means business and I have had some of the most spectacular marks from it in the past.

Taking More Impact

Since HL came out as a masochist, we have been more serious about impact play and although I felt that we had reached a plateau with it, this revelation has allowed us to keep exploring. It turns me on that he wants to hurt me in that way because it was the hidden darkness in each other that was one of the things that first attracted us. The thought that he wants me to take more for him and that he is aroused by the fact that I will is something that I find hot.

Taking more pain for him has become a focus in itself. The structure of this post shows that we started with the lighter forms of impact play and built up to the heavier ones, and I think that the same is true of our tolerance to impact in general. For a while we had regular opportunities to use impact and found that we could go a little further each time. This has not been the case for a while and, because most impact can be noise, we have to use the rare opportunities when the house is empty.

This was actually another reason for shifting from hand spanking to the cane as the latter could be used with much less noise than the former. Although not strictly impact play, we now use electrastim for the same reason. While HL doesn’t hit me with it in the same way, because he uses a pad on each bum cheek it can feel similar in some ways to receiving a spanking or the cane. It is a different sort of pain but each toy feels different to the next anyway so as long as the sensation works for you, I don’t think that matters.

Explore more of my Tell Me About posts or click on the button and follow the link to go to the Tell Me About site and see who else is writing about impact play.

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Posted in Play, Scenes and Kink, Projects, Tell Me About ..., Throwing Caution To The Window and tagged , , , , , .


  1. I love how you have gone through the different implements you have, and how you like them, or not. That last part of your post, about taking more pain from HL… I am looking forward to when Master T starts swinging the flogger or other implements again and I can build up my pain tolerance again 🙂
    ~ Marie

    • I think you have a better tolerance than me. I usually need some pleasure with the pain but we have got better at knowing how my balance works. I look forward to reading about your adventures! Missy x

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