I like being naughty. I like it, but I find it hard to do sometimes. My self consciousness is a bitch and she kicks in and stops me from letting go, from being the naughty girl I want to be. It has got harder as I have got older. She tells me I am stupid, a grown woman behaving this way. She tells me I am foolish, believing that I can be sexy. She ridicules me in a voice which has become so well ingrained it is hardly discernible from my own.
Sometimes, especially times when I have help, I can push her voice away. I can stick my tongue out at her, flash my bum at her, and I can tell her to go and get lost. I can let my naughty come out and I can really enjoy it. I find that naughty feeds naughty so as with so many things with me, the more, the more, as it were. But being naughty is not always easy. Sometimes I need to be pushed, sometimes I need to be made to do it.
That is why I am a submissive. It means that HL can make me do it. He doesn’t have to force me, of course. He only needs to tell me and I can hear his voice instead of the self-conscious voice that sits on my shoulder. I can hear his encouragement more than I can hear her chastisement. I can focus on his words and let myself follow his instructions until a switch inside me is flicked and I can slip into doing what I am doing.
It sounds silly. It is silly. It is a silly thing that lots of other people can do without having to be told. Lots of girls can just be naughty and own it. I have to be made to own it as I am made to want it and to wear it. And I am made to do that. I am made to wear it like a badge and the way that makes me feel means that I stay in that space where I can be the person I want to be, free of judgement and ridicule.
This picture was the start of some naughtiness. By the time we took it I wanted to be naughty. I actually wanted to be really bad. So I did what was requested of me and I kept on doing it. I kept going until I had done some things that I never thought I would do. And I felt good being bad and being naughty. I didn’t feel my age either. I felt young. I felt young and sexy and free. And so I really do think that you are never too old to be naughty.