Memoir – Becoming a submissive wife
Our honeymoon was mostly spent in the suite of a small hotel in the Florida Keys, serenaded by the sound of torrential rain storms caused by the tail end of a hurricane which had hit the Caribbean. Following a stressful build up, including a divorce process so long that it meant the first wedding was cancelled as it would have led to bigamy, we had finally tied the knot and escaped on our own. Our wedding day was emotional and perfect, smaller than anything we had anticipated, but it blended the family that was more important to us than anything.
The second most important thing was being able to celebrate our union on our own, and really, the minute we were on our way to the airport, things felt different, connected, right. Despite any difficulties we had in terms of accessing a D or s mindset at home, once we were away it happened without effort. We created a little bubble around ourselves and floated along on the highs of being with each other. There was no slipping in and out of the level of intimacy we knew possible, we were just on, all the time.
Despite the thrill in feeling this way, we did go out. We explored the Keys, top of the car down despite the rain, and we got soaked together, laughing at the things we saw and the moments we shared. This was nothing new, we had always had something special together, but it allowed us to see some of what was going wrong. Alone together and away from home, my submission came naturally. There was no push back and there were no questions.
HL also seemed more confident in his role and he was the natural leader. We slipped easily back into the way that we had been prior to moving in together and I was reminded again why I felt that this dynamic played to our natural interaction with each other. We were hungry for each other, excited by each other and the chemistry this created lead us to never want to shift from that bedroom or the way that this made each of us feel. There was an addictive freedom about submitting to his will and I loved feeling that all of the time.
As our 5 days drew to a close we both felt the fear of things returning to normal and made some decisions. We made a formal commitment there and then to stick to D/s with no more talk of giving up or not being suited. We would formalise things by way of an agreement which would help us to keep us on track, and we would move from bedroom only to 24/7 D/s, or at least our own version of it. What we did was to make it a lifestyle and in doing so, extended our power exchange from the bedroom, out into other areas of our life together.
Structure and formality sounds so boring, and almost contradictory when applied to something which you feel brings you freedom and escape, but it was what we needed and it allowed us to build walls around what we wanted, which acted as our foundations. It protected us, from outside pressures as well as inner self doubts, and it allowed us to move into the next phase of our dynamic. Suddenly we were no longer struggling and feeling we might not be able to make it work, we were doing it, running with it and we embraced that way that felt with a new confidence and energy.
In some ways our honeymoon might have been over, but in other ways it had just begun.
I decided to take part in Mrs Fever’s summer writing project which involves writing memoir. This is the fourth part to my memoir about becoming a submissive wife. The prompt this time was run, and once we got started with our version of lifestyle D/s, it felt like running with it was finally what we were able to do. If you would like to know more about this project then follow the link and head over to Mrs Fever’s site.
To read the other parts to my memoir, please follow this link:
Becoming a submissive wife