Being missy - Me, myself and her

Me, myself, and her – being missy

Posted on | 36 Comments

She is me and very much me, but I am not always her. I don’t know if that makes sense or not but I hope that it does. Being missy is an important part of me and, really, she has always been there although I didn’t see her there before as I do now. It sort of messes with my head when I think about the different parts of me. It can feel sometimes like different people or personas who all live in one, but I suppose that they are just different sides which are brought about in response to different things.

I say that she is very much me because she is at the core. I cannot separate myself from her, although I can manage her thoughts and feeling and responses when I need to. I can push her down and I do. My life is such that I couldn’t be her all of the time. I would like to be in many ways, but I can’t. My life would chew her up and spit her out for breakfast so I have to keep her for when she can be and be safe. The rest of the time she is hidden behind my other faces, mother, teacher, daughter, friend etc.

I can only describe her as being more. She feels things more, she wants things more. She is more excited and more vulnerable. She has no boundaries and no limits. She will give you everything. I feel like she is smaller, younger, more innocent and yet naughtier. She is impulsive and corruptible. She holds the key to the energy and the passion, and although that is a common characteristic of all parts, it comes from her. In many ways she is the best bits and so she feels purer.

She is comfortable in her own skin and happy with who she is. She is not held back by the thinking parts which seek to alter and change. She is free in so many ways and not shackled down by what the world wants. But all of this makes her vulnerable. She would be like an exposed wound in an unsafe world if she didn’t have the protection she needs, so trust is paramount. Only in the presence of real trust can she be.

Prompt #415 – Third Person

Other posts where I explain what my submission means are:
Submission and how it works for me
The faces of my submission
My submission, his submissive and other kick ass part that I don’t talk about

Posted in Submissive Journal, Throwing Caution To The Window.

36 Comments

  1. She is me and very much me, but I am not always her.
    Yes! So much yes!
    I think this post shows beautifully how submission is always there, but sometimes hidden from other’s view. As well the photo is stunning! It very much shows the submissive headspace and the calm that comes when surrendering.
    xo

    • Thank you so much Mrs K. I think it’s a hard thing to explain but because you feel it too then you know what I mean, which is really nice ?

  2. I love this. There’s a deepness to this which shows different layers of who missy is, who you are, and I love what I see.
    “Only in the presence of real trust can she be.” – this is beautiful!

    Rebel xox

    • Thank you Marie. I go through periods of feeling I am one with parts and then parts in one. I guess we just are who we are ?

  6. I think we all have many parts in us, like an alter ego. For me that is Raven, who can be bold and brash when I can’t. I rely on that side more and more, who knows maybe it is the real us hiding low till we have need for it

    • I see that Lord Raven. I wonder if I need to shield my submissive more though from RL where you can let your Dominant out? An interesting thought.

  8. The part that really hit me was that your real life would chew her up and spit her out, I feel every bit of that. There are many facets of Jae that are true of the real me, but I don’t think she would survive in my real life.

    • YES. I know what you mean. We need to shelter them from the world somehow. I know some people manage but my submissive just doesn’t have the protection that my vanilla side has. At the same time the defences I use in RL create boundaries to keep others a little bit out. missy x

  10. The first line dragged me in. So much connection there and i felt like i instantly understood the post it spoke to me. So well written (as poorly as that was put) but honestly a joy i love your writing.

  14. Somehow, I felt as if I had read this before. That’s how familiar it felt and how much sense your opening line made. Missy sounds more primal and connected with the inner you by the way you describe her. It’s funny you say that Missy isn’t shackled down – while when she physically is, you feel most and the opposite of shackled. It’s a wonderful juxtaposition

    • Oh yes. I had not thought about that for a while. I used to notice it more I think, the fact the the physical and mental restraint, coupled with the tight structure and routine actually allowed me the freedom. I came to the conclusion that I am held back by my own self control. Another thoughtful comment. Thank you so much ML ❤️

      • That’s very relatable Missy, I’m also held back by my self control and I think that’s why I need the hood, humiliation, enough pain etc. to make me let go

  15. Yes, yes, yes, I totally get you. The way you word everything and how in depth you get is just so beautiful. Love what you have written.

  16. She sounds like a unique, delightful, interesting, creative, complex and special person.

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