When talking about spirituality and submission, for me that is not to do with a particular religion or a particular faith. While I would say that I have a faith and I do hold with some religious beliefs, the older I have become, the less I have anything to do with the organised aspect of religion. So for the purposes of this piece, I refer to spirituality as being about the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things. For me, this is where my submission becomes spiritual.
HisLordship is not a religious person at all, so there is a big difference to what I am talking about here, and the Christian submission to one’s husband and to God which might be found in those practising Christian Domestic Discipline, which is also a form of Dominance and submission. I don’t worship HL as my Dominant. I know that some submissives do and they are often the types written about in fiction stories; I think that in some ways it would be more straightforward if I was that type of submissive, but really, that just isn’t me.
So just being in a D/s relationship and being required to submit by giving up various aspects of my life to HL, does not bring me the sort of spirituality that I am talking about. I still have things that I want to achieve and things that matter and are important to me. While I view our relationship to be central to my life and to all that I am, I would not be content to give all of those other things up to the greater purpose of our power exchange. The sort of dynamic we have created allows me to have those things, in addition to giving up control in other areas as part of our power exchange.
I suppose, for us, things with our relationship sort of roll along with the Dominance and submission always as something which exists as a fundamental part, but it is subtle, rather than being overt. It is about the repect we show, the trust we have, the open comminication and the fact that are motivated to put each other’s needs before our own. The structure we have means that we are able to keep very connected and very close and so all in all, it feels like a damn good relationship and one that we feel happy and lucky to have.
But there are times when things go deeper than this. There are times when things become so intimate and so intense that the reality of my feelings simply overwhelms me and nothing else matters apart from him and us and what we are together and what we will become. This is when I feel that my submission becomes spiritual. It happens during some of our play, but it also happens at other times when he demands my submission in a way which pushes my boundaries too.
It is hard to explain. Somehow all that I am on a practical level falls away and I become free, more fluid, more focussed on the moment. The things that usually ground me in terms of responsibility and commitment seem less important. The idea of who I am and what I am expected to be seem less fixed and don’t matter in quite the same way anymore. It feels like there is a bigger purpose and it is about us together.