used as ornament - objectification

Objectification as a Kink

I have an objectification kink.  I always feel a bit embarrassed about that because it seems wrong to want such a thing, but then again I guess a lot kink seems a little wrong, in a good way of course.  I don’t enjoy just any objectification though so it has to be the right kind, at the right time, done in the right way. But all of those elements present and I find it really powerful. Objectification in a BDSM sense is actually really broad and can involve a range of different activities. As with anything, what forms part of objectification for you will be down to your own perception and the sorts of things you find enjoyable.

In some ways, a D/s relationships itself can probably be viewed as using objectification, for usually the submissive will see themselves as being owned, and will often offer their body to be used for the pleasure of their Dominant. While the thought of this was thrilling to me when we first started out, those sorts of things feel quite usual now and so it takes a bit more to push me mentally to a place where I feel the full force of HL’s objectification of me. It happens sometimes through the way that he talks to or about me, sometimes it comes from the things that we do in play, and sometimes it is part of the way I end up thinking about myself.

Talking the Talk

I am not really one for being called names and things. Being referred to a ‘greedy’ or ‘desperate’ in a sexual context will be hot, but being called a slut or a whore won’t have the same impact. It doesn’t upset or bother me but it doesn’t turn me on as I know it can for some people. Being spoken about in a way which detaches me from myself is what really works. Third person can be good, or just a commentary which sounds in some way detached.  HL uses intimate inspections and these would fall into this category.

Being part of the Furniture

Often people will objectify someone by asking them to be a piece of furniture or to provide decoration. While this is something that I think I might enjoy, it is not something that we have done much of. The image above would come under the sort of things that we have tried; HL enjoys a glass of wine while I become part of the scenery for him, and I think that to make it part of a longer scene could work really well if we manage to find some extended time together. I have thought a lot about being displayed for others and objectified in that sort of way and it is something that I find appeals to me.  In reality I think that my anxiety would get the better of me and I would push back and try to wriggle out of it, so I would need to be made to do it.

The Things That We Do

Basically for me, objectification taps far into my humiliation kink and can push me deeply and successfully into my submissive headspace. It is an area we have been exploring more of recently and that has allowed me to understand more about why I like medical play and some of the role play that we do. I have also written about wearing a hood and about going out while wearing his collar and cuffs which make it is obvious what the relationship is between us. I think that so far, one of the easiest and most effective things we have done has been a sort of sex doll scene.

During this sort of play, HL will depersonalise me and make it clear what my uses are. He uses a running commentary to really get inside my head and to comment on the way that my body is responding for him. I am not sure quite why this is so effective for me, part of my weirdness I guess, but I think that for him, feeling that he has a job to do – check out the complaint on the faulty toy – means that he can be more detached from me than he usually would. Although he is getting more comfortable with making the sort of comments that work, it still goes against his nature. In our relationship, he knows that I have some hangups about my body and so he has always been very careful around anything which could be seen as negative or critical.

The Future in Objectification Terms

I think that in time this sort of approach will perforate through into other areas and he will use it and adapt it to suit the situation. I have always known that he can make me his with one word, but I think that he still errs on the side of caution, as ultimately he is a loving husband addressing his wife. I do see the difference in his Dom side and the more it works for me, the stronger it is for him, so I definitely have a role to play in encouraging him with this. When he sees the signs from me that what he is doing it working well, his sadistic side kicks in and he starts to revel in taking me apart, slowly, piece by piece.

Sinful Sunday

 

tellmeabout

 

Posted in Erotic Humiliation, Projects, Tell Me About ..., Throwing Caution To The Window.

46 Comments

  1. I’m glad I”m not the only one who struggles with enjoying their kinks. 😀

    First, super sexy pose.

    second, how did you get up there? And How did you get down?

    Much better viewing than TV for sure.

    • Hehe. It was a struggle to get up there and down. HL checked it first for weight. It seemed a lot higher at the time than it looks in the picture. ?

  2. … Great interesting post we have been Kink, DsMarried For many years recently I have brought God back into my life I have been mad at him for a long time and That has really been confusing due to our lifestyle does anyone else struggle with that?

  3. This explains objectification really well, and now I have some new ideas. 😀
    I enjoy being objectified also, although it has taken some time for me to accept it and to understand that there’s nothing inherently bad about it. I have a loving husband who enjoys objectifying me during scenes, but I always know he doesn’t see me as just an object in our ‘normal’ life. So why shouldn’t I accept the pleasure of it and enjoy myself? (This took me longer to accept than it should have.) For me, being an object is a break from being a person. If I am being used for HD’s pleasure, I am not thinking about chores that need to be done or doctor’s appointments I have coming up or that thing my sister said last week. I also don’t have to fret about if he’s enjoying himself or if I am doing things right. There’s a sense of pride for me too, that comes from knowing he is able to attain his own gratification with the freedom to do whatever he wants…within the bounds of negotiated limits. It’s also humiliating, which is a huge turn-on, and HD uses that to his advantage with great success. 🙂

  4. This is a fun image and then your exploration into your feelings, what you do and don’t like, how HL takes things in a direction he is comfortable with was so interesting and educating. You have a real skill here for “show and tell” ! I would hate to be that high up BTW, so kudos to you! Love HL’s feet in the foreground … just chillin’.

    • Thanks Posy. HL was just enjoying a glass of wine with the view lol. I am glad that you found it interesting. It is one of those things I find hard to explain. I am going to try to write out a scene version though ?

  5. Amazing picture and great post. The third person does it for me too. Really all of what you wrote works for me. So if you are weird so am I, lol. But, I don’t think we are. I really want to do the doll fantasy.

    • Thank you. We have done it a few times and it has always been good for me. Somehow it is easy to get into the mindset and it works for both of us ?

    • Thank you. I am the same – I love all of the personal details about thoughts and feelings in personal writing. ?

  6. I love the images obviously seen from HL perspective. Like you I love objectification and humiliation, but do find being called a slut etc. a turn on. Great post Missy xx

    • Thanks Julie. It is one of those things I guess where what we find horny is so individual. Good to know I have a kindred spirit though ❤️

  7. Being objectified by being a piece of furniture is not something I will enjoy, but what when it comes to objectifying me by a kind of inspection, or humiliation, it taps into my kinky side.
    Love the image!

    Rebel xox

    • Yes I am the same. I wonder if there might be some scenarios where the furniture would work but I am not sure. It would probably have to be sexual for me to find it erotic I think. ?

  8. This is a great image and a thoughtful post. It’s interesting how many of our kinks can be complicated. I certainly have a complicated relationship with someone mine. Objectification can be done in so many ways that communication is so important.

    • Yes I totally agree. At the start I thought I understood but I see now that the more complex things have come to the surface and I don’t really always know how it works I just know it does. ?

  9. I know it only really works when you have that commentary to make the scene, without it the mindset isn’t the same. Talking can be tricky, but I do like the idea of the sub being a ‘thing’.

  10. I think mostly this is not a kink for me but then I know little bits of it are, the language, being called a dirty bitch etc that does it for me big time but being furniture? Only if you desire your furniture to flip you the finger and go tell you to hold you own fucking drink. *laughs

    Molly

  11. This is such a brilliant picture! And while I am no into being a piece of furniture, or an innate object to be used (I am way too restless for that haha), I love being objectified as a sexual object where my needs and wants don’t matter, but only my function does.

  12. Great image Missy – It made me smile seeing HL feet and u look gorgeous.
    I think I need to look into the links you have provided to understand this a bit more. I do find the idea very interesting and feel it may work for me xx

  13. First…what a bold picture! I’m not sure I’d have that much faith in whomever installed those shelves (unless it was HL). Second…I agree with you that objectification was easier to achieve at the outset of D/s. Now being an object for sexual pleasure is par for the course. And like HL, HQ is a kind and loving spouse who wouldn’t want to hurt me. While I’m not into being furniture, this is definitely a turn on for me in every other way. Language is a huge part of it. That’s where we are working to grow the most. Thanks for all the insights.

  14. Oh I remember this stunning shot and it makes me hold my breath! I can relate to some of what you say, particularly in the use of objectifying language and we developed that sensation further with the hood. Lots to consider…

    • Thanks Kis that is really kind. The hood is a good way to use it I think as it sort of lends itself and makes it easier for HL ?

  15. I think you hit it on the nail, at least for me, when you say that objectification gets you faster in the subspace. It’s a lot of work, when you enjoy it a bit less, to shut off all other senses. Just be, and let someone take over. Great post and thanks for sharing your experience with it.

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