Time Management

Time and it’s management

I am not really good at time management. Timekeeping, yes, but time management, no. I think there are a couple of good reasons for this: The first is the fact that I set myself high standards and want to achieve the best I can, and the second is that I give time to others. Both of these are admirable attributes, but they don’t always stand me in good stead when I have lots to do. And I always have lots to do. I am a busy person and so I feel that often I am juggling and spinning plates in order to achieve what I have committed to do.

Setting High Standards

I have written quite a lot about setting high standards, both directly and indirectly and those of you who are regular readers will know that I struggle to manage what I want to do for my blog and other sites, for my family, and also for my work. All of these things are important to me, all of these things bring me pleasure and reward, and all of these things take up enough time on their own to be a full time job. I am not a fan of cutting corners or taking the easy option. I value quality, I would say at the expense of quantity but this is not true. I want quality and quantity, and so I keep going until I feel I have achieved this.

Giving Time

I love people. I am a people person and it is in my nature to be interested in those around about me. Because this is the case, I will give my own time to others, and I will do this even when I don’t really have the time to give. I will have things that I wish to achieve, but I will put that aside if I feel that someone needs me.  I don’t give them the time at the expense of my own goals though, I do it in addition and so I am left beginning work on my other prioritise afterwards.  The result of this can be that I have to eat into time which was set aside for other things, begging, stealing and borrowing from other sources, the most obvious one being sleep.

My Work Life

It happens that my career has taken a path where I am much more in charge of my own time than previously. This sounds like a good thing as the day is, to a degree, flexible. However, a large part of my role is responsive. I am required to drop what I am doing and deal with the urgent situation that has presented itself. This would be okay but the workload is too great. It is not a manageable job and because of the way we approach it, that doesn’t really become evident. We work harder and longer and faster, to try to do the things that we didn’t get done due to the interruptions.

I can see that this suits my nature and my way of working, but it takes its toll. There is always that feeling about the thing that you haven’t done and the concern that it may be important. It is difficult to tell when something forgotten, or something put off until tomorrow will be that thing, the one that really mattered. There is a fear of the information missed, or not recorded, or not acted upon. It plays upon my mind and means that I find it hard to switch off, and there is often something in the background being processed. The amount of information that I carry in my head and can recall is phenomenal, but I worry about the piece that I have forgotten.

Managing Time

I know that I need to be better at managing my time. I need to try to block it off in sections and learn to say no. I need to pass things to others and learn to delegate, rather than trying to be all things to all people. I need to work to priorities, be clear about those with others, and measure myself against outcomes which are achievable within the time frame and the resources that I have. I need to stop comparing myself to others and trying to achieve the best of what others can show. I need to find time to switch off, time do things for me, and spend time on some of the things that I don’t currently.

A while ago now, we agreed that managing time would become part of our power exchange. Essentially, HL would give me time in pockets. We thought that this would allow me to use it more for the things I wanted to than for the things that I felt I should, and in many ways it worked quite well. That was until things got busier, busy enough to challenge what we had set aside and then we sort of fell out of the way of it. Being given time is something that I would like to go back to as I think it would allow me to be more available at home, emotionally and sexually.

I suppose that really I just need to see where things go. Sometimes the things that are your greatest strengths are also you largest failings and I think that perhaps my management of time falls into this category. I do very well with what I have, but there is a price to pay. I am hopeful that awareness of it will allow me to improve things and to be better at working with what I have and making sure the things that bring me the most pleasure, are not pushed to the back of the queue.  Instead of hiding from time, I will try to own it and make it work for me!


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  1. It took me years to learn how to manage my time the most effectively, as I too am an extremely busy person, but now even manage to find time to relax, to do ‘nothing’, to have me-time… and not to feel guilty about it. Being aware of the fact that you need to manage your time better, is half the road to success. Just always be aware that you need time for yourself too, and you will find it getting easier to manage your time.

    Rebel xox

    • Yes I always look at you and wonder quite how you do it. Your output is phenomenal so that could be time magic rather the time management. Not sure I’ll ever get to your point but I will try ?

  2. This is very relatable. So many busy people get so much done- I think we’re afraid to slow down because we know how efficient we are in this place. thanks for sharing with us!

  3. I’ve recently learned to allow myself more time as well as for just us. It’s difficult though when you are on that ‘hamster wheel’ though. Sounds like taking time is what you both need.

  4. I am terrible at time management, both at work and home. At work it is because there is just too much to do and not enough time, and home because I can never decide what I want to do to relax. I can definitely relate.

  5. I’m interested in how you use time management in D/s. I know my own Husband has the right to tell me to stop doing household things and sit down, because I tend to go a little nuts in that department, and He gets on my case if I do too much work at home. But I’d love to hear more about these pockets of time.

    • A while back I realised that I had got to feeling that I owned my own time again. I was in my own head and therefore less open to responding submissively so we decided that he would give me time to do things. There were certain parts of the day or evening when he said that I had an hour or two hours to write or chat or whatever I wanted to do. Other time was designated for certain things so it was all worked out and built in to make sure I got everything done. Psychologically it worked well for me but it sort of fell by the wayside so it’s something that we need to try to get back to. Not sure if that makes sense or not. I wrote about it in the linked post I think. ?

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