flaunting myself

If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

I am not very good at flaunting myself. I tend not to have the confidence to do it, although I would like to. I have been able to do it before and have enjoyed it. It has only come at a time when I felt really good about myself, usually sexually, and I was able to sort of offer myself in a titillating teasing sort of way. Being honest, this has mostly involved HL. I have done it very occasionally with others when I felt his presence and it was due to the impact that he had on me and the way he made me feel, and I have also done it for him as part of the metaphorical dance that we do with one another.

I wish I could turn it on and turn it off, as he likes to see me in that way. I think that I develop a sort of carefree radiance which is quite enticing for him. He loves me and he desires me. He thinks that I am attractive and he wants me, but when I am able to flaunt myself for him, he picks up on the sense that in that particular moment, I feel that I am everything that he sees in me. I can feel the change in myself to be honest. I feel as if I present myself differently, move differently, and I can only assume that to others, I come across differently too.

On the occasions it has happened, it has usually been something that I am not in control of. Sometimes, however, I have been able to harness something inside myself, sort of flick a mental switch, and flaunt myself sexually for him.. One example would be most of the occasions when I have danced for him.  I know that he likes to see me dance and if we are out, I can get into that place where I am moving with him watching me in mind. But the intimate dances I do for him take more from me. When they happen there is no doubt what my intention is as I sway and tilt and twist my body in ways that are suggestive of how I feel about him.

As he becomes my audience, he fills my head in the same way that he does during play. I am a sexual being who makes no apologies and shows no hesitation for who and what I am. I am a plaything, slightly out of reach, despite the fact that I am offering myself, or at least offering the thought of me, to him. Although it is very different to our usual play as I perform for him, I do slip deep into a submissive headspace.  I lose the inhibitions that I usually need him to push me past and gain an inner confidence and self-belief. That is what allows me to flaunt myself so shamelessly for him at those times.

Although posted as fiction, the details written here about what happens when I dance are a true to life account of how it actually works for me. To be honest, I love how it makes me feel and I love what it does to him, so if I felt able to flaunt myself more, it would definitely be something that I did. It battles with the other side of me though, the self-conscious, self-controlled person with the hangups and the lack of self-belief. I am naturally quite shy and modest so it takes quite a lot to bring about a shift, despite the freedom that it allows me to feel.

I know that flaunting can have quite negative connotations, but I do think that there is something really good about the way you have to feel inside to do it in a genuine and non-threatening way. I realise that there are other interpretations and, certainly not all flaunting can be a positive thing, but the sort that I am writing about is not about pushing yourself onto others in a way which is superior or defiant but more about presenting yourself to someone who is engaged with you, in a way which demonstrates a sense of boldness or self-belief.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked
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Posted in Feeling Good, Sexuality, Submissive Musings and tagged , , , , .


  1. I’m very new and still learning. I’m not very confident in the bedroom or as a sub. I’m also very self conscious about my body. My Dom tells me I’m beautiful and loves me just the way I am. He says confidence is sexy. Prior to us meeting my training involved telling him how sexy my body was at least once a day. During sessions I’m to show off my sexiness in different ways. There are times it still feels awkward and unnatural. I’m learning more to please him. If there are any online chat groups you could direct me to I’d certainly appreciate it. I still have lots of questions. TIA

    • Hello. Thank you for your comment. I can relate to feeling awkward and the lack of confidence too but I agree with your Dom, it is sexy.

      We have live chats at The SafeworD/s Club on a Sunday and a Tuesday at 8pm UK time. There are also forums there where you can ask questions and feel free to contact me if that is easier ?

  2. I know what you mean about having to be in the right state of mind. I usually find that in the hours after we have played I am most relaxed and body confident, I am more likely to be provocative and flirty. When I have new underwear and I show MrH and he responds appreciatively I will respond…. but his responses feed my own.

    Great post Missy ?

    Sweetgirl x

    • This makes a lot of sense. I find there is a headspace that I have to tap into to make it work. I can’t always do that but it’s good when I can ❤️

  3. I love how you described your thoughts and feeings on flaunting in such an honest and open way with modesty, charm and intelligence. I enjoyed this so much I read it twice.

  4. I have only ever once did some sexy moves for Master T, when it was a task he has set me, but I never will do it out of my own, to dance or strip for him, as I feel utterly stupid when I do. I don’t really like being the center of attention…

    Rebel xox

    • I can feel that too but if I am able to get past that then I really enjoy it. I think that the awkwardness means that I have to become quite submissive to do it and that actually helps me a lot. I bet you looked sexy even if you didn’t feel it, but it’s hard to do if you don’t ❤️

  5. I’m the same. I used to flaunt myself a lot more when I was younger (even doing strip teases for my husband), but as I’m getting older and my body is filling out more, I feel less confident and I really have to be in the right frame of mind to flaunt myself. It’s both encouraging (because I’m not alone) and disheartening (because we should all want to flaunt regardless of how we look) that so many of us feel like this.

    • I know what you mean. I don’t think I have ever really felt that different although I know what you mean about age. I guess I should feel worse about my body now that it is aging but the way HL is with me and the gains to my body image from posting on sinful Sunday etc mean that in many ways I feel better about myself now than I have before. I still don’t feel flaunt-worthy most of the time but I don’t think that I really ever did. In fact I didn’t used to let anyone see me naked much at all before. It’s nice to know I am in good company though ❤️

  6. This makes perfect sense. The internal struggles are what holds us back in many things. You’ve definitely tapped into something as pet dances for me and he has described it in a similar way.

  7. I love this! I have felt this way as well, as you say, when dancing for him. You are doing it for him, for yourself as you feel for him. It is as if no one else is around, only him. LOVE it!! ~

  8. I am not great at flaunting but my boobs usually do that for me so I have never really had to think about it.They precede me lol Love those images of you and remember the story u mention too x

  9. I didn’t think of flaunting in this way before, though it makes perfect sense what you’re writing about and I think it’s only positive to flaunt in this sense. There’s nothing wrong about feeling confident enough to do so. It’s something to be proud of, really!

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