I am not very good at flaunting myself. I tend not to have the confidence to do it, although I would like to. I have been able to do it before and have enjoyed it. It has only come at a time when I felt really good about myself, usually sexually, and I was able to sort of offer myself in a titillating teasing sort of way. Being honest, this has mostly involved HL. I have done it very occasionally with others when I felt his presence and it was due to the impact that he had on me and the way he made me feel, and I have also done it for him as part of the metaphorical dance that we do with one another.
I wish I could turn it on and turn it off, as he likes to see me in that way. I think that I develop a sort of carefree radiance which is quite enticing for him. He loves me and he desires me. He thinks that I am attractive and he wants me, but when I am able to flaunt myself for him, he picks up on the sense that in that particular moment, I feel that I am everything that he sees in me. I can feel the change in myself to be honest. I feel as if I present myself differently, move differently, and I can only assume that to others, I come across differently too.
On the occasions it has happened, it has usually been something that I am not in control of. Sometimes, however, I have been able to harness something inside myself, sort of flick a mental switch, and flaunt myself sexually for him.. One example would be most of the occasions when I have danced for him. I know that he likes to see me dance and if we are out, I can get into that place where I am moving with him watching me in mind. But the intimate dances I do for him take more from me. When they happen there is no doubt what my intention is as I sway and tilt and twist my body in ways that are suggestive of how I feel about him.
As he becomes my audience, he fills my head in the same way that he does during play. I am a sexual being who makes no apologies and shows no hesitation for who and what I am. I am a plaything, slightly out of reach, despite the fact that I am offering myself, or at least offering the thought of me, to him. Although it is very different to our usual play as I perform for him, I do slip deep into a submissive headspace. I lose the inhibitions that I usually need him to push me past and gain an inner confidence and self-belief. That is what allows me to flaunt myself so shamelessly for him at those times.
Although posted as fiction, the details written here about what happens when I dance are a true to life account of how it actually works for me. To be honest, I love how it makes me feel and I love what it does to him, so if I felt able to flaunt myself more, it would definitely be something that I did. It battles with the other side of me though, the self-conscious, self-controlled person with the hangups and the lack of self-belief. I am naturally quite shy and modest so it takes quite a lot to bring about a shift, despite the freedom that it allows me to feel.
I know that flaunting can have quite negative connotations, but I do think that there is something really good about the way you have to feel inside to do it in a genuine and non-threatening way. I realise that there are other interpretations and, certainly not all flaunting can be a positive thing, but the sort that I am writing about is not about pushing yourself onto others in a way which is superior or defiant but more about presenting yourself to someone who is engaged with you, in a way which demonstrates a sense of boldness or self-belief.