I read something yesterday which didn’t leave me. It sat with me and I thought about it. I spoke to HL about it and I also spoke to littlegem about it, but still I couldn’t shake the feelings from it. I think that I felt shocked, then saddened and then, outraged. I recently started following a fairly new blog called Peace and Fulfilment. I haven’t read all of it yet, but enough to know it is about an older couple who have found each other and are writing about their journey of sexual exploration together. It makes me feel good. Naomi is 80 and Rex is a bit younger and it represents everything that I want to believe in about the fact that age is just a number.
On Sunday a new post popped up on my reader called, Crushed: The Big Dipper. I won’t tell the story as it is not mine to tell but I will give you the beginning section which was my hook.
A.K.A. How to destroy someone’s fragile self esteem.
- Start with a woman who has had the stuffing knocked out of her for 70 consecutive years.
- Let her meet a man a few years younger who gives her a new perspective on life.
- Keep the thought of her insufficiency high in her mind.
- Love her, encourage her to step outside her comfort zone.
- Encourage her to step out and do things she’s never done before
- Buy her clothes that look superb on her youthful figure.
- Tell her she looks absolutely stunning in them (and she does!)
- Want to take her out and show her off.
- See her blossom with some real compliments and great experiences.
- Have some meaningless, thoughtless, brainless people mock her and humiliate her in front of a crowd. click to read the full post
Well I know this stuff goes on but I felt sort of shocked that someone would mock and humiliate another person in that way, so I read hoping that it would not be as bad as it sounded. WRONG. I felt so awful for Naomi. I tried to leave a comment in support but couldn’t see where to comment. I went back again and again, trying on different devices, and in the end left a comment on another of her posts explaining. (It turned out to be one of those WordPress glitches and she is open for comments now). I guess that the fact that I had posted my own Sinful Sunday image the day before and was receiving the usual stream of wonderfully supportive and complimentary comments made me feel even worse about it all.
I feel really strongly that older people should be allowed to be sexy and feel sexy and wear the things that they want to wear. I was also shocked at the photo of Naomi from the night in question. OMG she looked stunning and if I look like that at 80 I will be the happiest pensioner around – seriously check out the picture in the post. I couldn’t understand why anyone would say any different and can only assume it is a lack of fulfilment in their own lives which is leading to the catty and spiteful remarks which were made. Being able to enjoy your body is so important. I think that for lots of us it has taken advancing years before we have been able to properly enjoy and get the best out of it, and I want to keep doing that for as long as I can.
I will admit that sometimes I look back on ‘wasted years’. There have been so many positives to come from them but sexually I don’t think that I really knew where I was at. To find that in your forties has felt a little late but as I approach fifty this year stories like that of Naomi and Rex encourage and inspire me. (Yay for another thirty years!) I think that being part of this online blogging community which is sex positive, body positive and inclusive has skewed my view a little and I have not had to acknowledge the sort of comments that were made here. I also know how fragile self-esteem can be and hope that by feeling the support that is out there, a stunningly sexy lady can feel good about herself again.
You rocked that dress Naomi!
The header picture for this post is of Quinn Rhodes and is used with permission