I read something yesterday which didn’t leave me. It sat with me and I thought about it. I spoke to HL about it and I also spoke to littlegem about it, but still I couldn’t shake the feelings from it. I think that I felt shocked, then saddened and then, outraged.  I recently started following a fairly new blog called Peace and Fulfilment. I haven’t read all of it yet, but enough to know it is about an older couple who have found each other and are writing about their journey of sexual exploration together.  It makes me feel good. Naomi is 80 and Rex is a bit younger and it represents everything that I want to believe in about the fact that age is just a number.

On Sunday a new post popped up on my reader called, Crushed: The Big Dipper. I won’t tell the story as it is not mine to tell but I will give you the beginning section which was my hook.

       A.K.A. How to destroy someone’s fragile self esteem.

  1. Start with a woman who has had the stuffing knocked out of her for 70 consecutive years.
  2. Let her meet a man a few years younger who gives her a new perspective on life.
  3. Keep the thought of her insufficiency high in her mind.
  4. Love her, encourage her to step outside her comfort zone.
  5. Encourage her to step out and do things she’s never done before
  6. Buy her clothes that look superb on her youthful figure.
  7. Tell her she looks absolutely stunning in them (and she does!)
  8. Want to take her out and show her off.
  9. See her blossom with some real compliments and great experiences.
  10. Have some meaningless, thoughtless, brainless people mock her and humiliate her in front of a crowd.  click to read the full post

Well I know this stuff goes on but I felt sort of shocked that someone would mock and humiliate another person in that way, so I read hoping that it would not be as bad as it sounded. WRONG.  I felt so awful for Naomi. I tried to leave a comment in support but couldn’t see where to comment. I went back again and again, trying on different devices, and in the end left a comment on another of her posts explaining. (It turned out to be one of those WordPress glitches and she is open for comments now). I guess that the fact that I had posted my own Sinful Sunday image the day before and was receiving the usual stream of wonderfully supportive and complimentary comments made me feel even worse about it all.

I feel really strongly that older people should be allowed to be sexy and feel sexy and wear the things that they want to wear. I was also shocked at the photo of Naomi from the night in question. OMG she looked stunning and if I look like that at 80 I will be the happiest pensioner around – seriously check out the picture in the post. I couldn’t understand why anyone would say any different and can only assume it is a lack of fulfilment in their own lives which is leading to the catty and spiteful remarks which were made. Being able to enjoy your body is so important. I think that for lots of us it has taken advancing years before we have been able to properly enjoy and get the best out of it, and I want to keep doing that for as long as I can.

I will admit that sometimes I look back on ‘wasted years’. There have been so many positives to come from them but sexually I don’t think that I really knew where I was at. To find that in your forties has felt a little late but as I approach fifty this year stories like that of Naomi and Rex encourage and inspire me.  (Yay for another thirty years!)  I think that being part of this online blogging community which is sex positive, body positive and inclusive has skewed my view a little and I have not had to acknowledge the sort of comments that were made here. I also know how fragile self-esteem can be and hope that by feeling the support that is out there, a stunningly sexy lady can feel good about herself again.

You rocked that dress Naomi!

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 The header picture for this post is of Quinn Rhodes and is used with permission

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  1. Thank you for writing this post, Missy. I am as outraged as you are as to what happened to Naomi. I agree, she looks absolutely STUNNING! Thank you for pointing me to their blog!

    Rebel xox

    • Thank you Marie. I am really glad that you went to visit. I think they are quite new and I remember how long it took me blogging away in my own dark corner until I discovered all of you out here in the open. 🙂

  2. Couldn’t agree more with you, Naomi looks absolutely stunning in her picture! I’m sure Kayla would agree that MM is the perfect body positive place to highlight it.

  3. I love love love Naomi and Rex’s blog, Missy … and a big thank you to collared michael as it was him reposting one of their posts which lead me (and others) to their blog … she is an amazing woman, getting a second lease on life, and Rex is wonderful in his support of her journey (and it is his journey as well) … and the kicker in all of this … she is in the early stages of dementia and that is why this blog of theirs is so important … it is their way of documenting their life together as memories for the future when memories are stolen away. I am glad you stepped up in your always supportive way to give them a cheer and point others in their direction. … nj … xx

    • Thanks Nora and thank you also for the additional background. I think it was you who told me about their blog. I agree with what you have said and if my post drives some new readers to their site then I am pleased ?

  4. I adore Naomi and Rex, and I’m also appalled at how nasty and catty some people can be. Naomi is gorgeous. Hell, I’m half her age and I dream of looking as sparkling, radiant and gorgeous as she does! I can only assume those awful people who were berating her were jealous!

  5. Well, now I’m upset on her behalf, too. Some people absolutely suck, and I agree — if we can all be so fortunate to have something that good, wonderful, and sexual at that age, we’re fucking lucky.

  6. I follow Naomi and Rex too, and she looked absolutely stunning in that dress. It is terrible when people judge, but it is so confusing when they judge something that is beautiful and powerful: a woman looking gorgeous and feeling confident. Grrr.

  7. Wow. That’s unbelievable. There really are horrible people in this world. So sorry for here to experience that.

  8. Great post and as usual you are correct—Naomi looked fabulous in that dress! Gorgeous!
    Rex and Naomi actually met with one of the couples who were so rude. They talked it out. Rex instigated things. So good on him and Naomi was very brave to face these people.

      • On behalf of Rex and I, I just to say thank you all so much. I’m embarrassed by the lovely comments. Honestly! Rex is an amazing man and I’m like putty in his hands! Were not as adventurous as you all are, but certainly more so than most of folk our age. Rex’s massage lady started him off on this journey, and I’m a willing partner. I love all your posts. You’re all so genu9and honest.
        Love Naomi

        • You are so kind Naomi and thank you for what you have said. I found blogging made me part of a new and supportive community who were encouraging about the things that sometimes others are not. I am really pleased that you and Rex are so happy and am enjoying following your journey ❤️

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