I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
These lines are taken from one of my favourite poems, The Cloths of Heaven by W B Yeats. I wrote a short piece about the poem before and when I did, described my dreams as being the most personal, secret and fragile part of me. I still feel that is the truth. So often we hide our dreams, I think from fear that speaking them will reveal too much, or make us too vulnerable. In some ways there is something magical about dreams. They belong almost to another world, not the one of the rational and the here and now. For this reason, I think that perhaps people keep their dreams to themselves, for fear of tarnishing them or temping fate in some way.
The relationship that we are in leaves very little space to hide. It is a condition that I communicate honestly and openly and that includes sharing details of my thoughts and my dreams, my hopes and fears. Without this, we would not have the intimacy and the connection that we do. We would not be able step some of the way to realising some of those dreams for each other and in doing so, create the intensity that we are lucky enough to experience either. It is not easy to do though. I feel a reluctance sometimes, even now, to open myself up in this sort of way. The trust that is required in the other person is immense, as is the vulnerability that you find you have to show.
To let him tread on my dreams is huge. To say that they are his and that he can walk the path upon them was quite a step for me. To hand over my innermost fears and explore my dreams and nightmares with him was not something I never thought I would be able to do. It challenged my self-sufficiency and it forced me to let him move past the natural defences that I used to protect myself inside. For us this has been a good thing. It has made us stronger and it has made me stronger. It is ironic that in opening myself up to being vulnerable, I have developed a strength and a solidity which wasn’t there before.
I have learnt a lot from allowing myself to have needs and allowing someone else to meet them. I have grown in myself in ways that I could not have foreseen. I have discovered and uncovered things which I didn’t know were there and found unspoken dreams being brought slowly to life, moving from something illusive and abstract, to something much more tangible. In laying my dreams at his feet I have put myself in a position where the can be brought to life in a much more real way than could have happened before. It is a risk, yes, but one that I am willing to take.
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