Collar and Cuffs

Collar and Cuffs

missy in collar and cuffs

Despite the fact that I wear a day collar all the time as a symbol of my submission to HL, we use collars and cuffs less these days than in the past and, thinking about it now, this is something that I would like to change.  The collar I wear during the day is a silver circle which represents the power exchange between us, but it is a necklace so is not suitable for play. I like it because it means something to us, but it would not be instantly attributed to our lifestyle by anyone who was not in the know. I have worn the collar and cuffs pictured above out before, but that tends to be if going to events where that sort of attire is part of the outfit.

We have a few sets of collars and cuffs which we use for play and these will be something that HL selects at the time. We use wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and also thigh cuffs, which I really like. These are ideal if he wants to secure me in a certain position and are particularly handy when we are using the play bench. Recently he also installed a ceiling suspension mount (pictured above) which means that he can either suspend me, or suspend parts of my body using a spreader bar, which he then connects to my cuffs. Visually these things work really well for him by helping with his headspace, and they are similar for me because I feel much more vulnerable when immobilised.

We have also used the collar as part of predicament bondage and HL has secured various chains and connectors through the D rings on the collar and has attached them to other parts of my body, for example to nipple clamps. He has used the anal hook in the same way which means that whenever I move my neck, other parts of my body will be aroused and stimulated. This is something that we have also done using the various cuffs that we have and really, if depends how complicated you want the system to be, and how evil your Dom ideas are, how, when and where you use it.

We don’t tend to use a collar for night time as we have teenage children in the house and it would cause too many questions if seen. We did switching collars as part of our daily ritual, but again, for us it didn’t really work well. It became problematic so the day collar is something that I will put on myself each morning and remove each evening. I would like to extend the symbolic use of wearing a collar and cuffs at other times when it would not matter as much if it was identifiable in terms of its significance; when we are away for the weekend together, perhaps. This is something that we have discussed and hope to do more of in the future.

Another thing that we have talked about building on, is our use of Collar Time. This was something we introduced a while back so that we could have times when we slipped more easily into a higher protocol dynamic. For a number of reasons, we have not really made as much use of this as we would like to, so it is definitely something for us to work on. When we first talked about it, it was a way of extending a more M/s style dynamic outside of the bedroom, but in reality, circumstances meant that most of our play more recently has been confined very much to the bedroom, so it has not really developed as far as we might have liked it to.

For me, wearing a collar and cuffs definitely makes me feel more submissive, and although I have become so used to my day collar that it is just another part of me, I would not like to ever leave the house without it. It is a little like wearing my wedding ring which I see as a sign of my commitment to my marriage to HL. In the same way, my collar signifies my commitment to our power exchange and the D/s lifestyle that we have agreed to follow. So for practical reasons as well as emotional ones, a collar and cuffs have significance for us and for our relationship.

Sinful Sundaytellmeabout
Posted in Building a D/s Dynamic, Throwing Caution To The Window and tagged , , , .


  1. We don’t use collars very much either. I do have two different ones though. They are very comfortable but I virtually only wear them at home. There was one occasion though where on the spur of the moment we decided to go out. My Queen asked me to go out and warm the car and I forgot I had the collar on. Taking off my coat at the restaurant my Queen and the waitress noticed the collar. It should be pointed out that my collars cannot be mistaken for anything else. So while my Queen removed the collar at that point, that waitress always looks at us in a funny way. This is one of our favourite places to go to, and she often serves us.

  2. I do love cuffs and being restrained. My collar was always a big thing for me but having a problem with my throat has meant that they tended to irritate me and so became something I wore for special outings etc. Now we are not D/s they don’t feature at all and I am not at all sure how I feel about them now too

    BUT, you look very sexy in this picture and a ceiling suspension point sounds like something I would definitely like!


  3. This is a really sexy picture, and it looks very artsy too!
    I am not sure why, but I am not a person who putsa lot of significance into objects, and so their representations do neither. I love the look of a collar on me, and I wear one for my gothstyle, but I don’t think that I would ever wear one to represent my D/s relationship. Cuffs, on the other hand, we have used plenty of times in play and I like feeling immobilized!

    • Thank you. I think that over time they have come to feel a bit more symbolic for me. At the start they felt exciting as if they were part of this new thing I was into. 🙂

  4. Even though our D/s is more or less in hiatus at this moment, I still wear my day collar and sleep with a night collar. I would love to feel the play collars and cuffs on my skin again. Love your image!

    Rebel xox

  5. This is a very strong image. We like to use a collar when playing and have my dog collar that u see in photos. But Posy sent me a very pretty collar and cuffs a while back and I must get some photos done wearing it. x

    • Thanks May. I started out with a dog collar but I think the dog was bigger than me as it slipped round all the time. I would love to see some more pics of you 🙂

  6. Great pic and amazing mount. But the question immediately arises as to what your kids think of that on the ceiling? And if you’ve come up with a way to disguise it…do tell!

    I’m so with you on the importance of the collar, cuffs and other fun restraints. I have a day collar that just looks like a nice chain that I wear daily. We try a higher protocol collar time on dates as well and it’s a lot of fun. Bondage is so key to sparking a submissive mindset.

  7. I do love my collars and cuffs, I no longer wear a collar outside play but it really helps my mindset and transition from life to play.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.