Erotic Spanking

Erotic Spanking – the bottom line

Why Erotic Spanking?

We love erotic spanking. I suppose I could ask what’s not to love, but I know that not everyone enjoys it like we do.  As you might imagine, within our dynamic HL is the spanker and I am the spanked, but we both enjoy what it gives us in an erotic sense. As part of our power exchange, we do use spanking in ways which are not erotic. We have used it occasionally as punishment and more frequently as a way of maintaining the balance in our relationship, or equally for resetting the balance and reestablishing the power exchange.

But despite these other very functional purposes, we are drawn to spanking for the erotic value it holds. If you get off on a power exchange, then spanking is probably a great place for you to start. There is no real question about the shift of power when one of you has the other over their knee, bottom bared and upturned, while they slowly build the intensity of the smacks to your arse. Everything about it shrieks inequality, and yet the intimacy that is shared between you makes it one of the most emotionally connecting things you can do.

The feeling of vulnerability created by being spanked is huge and you are almost pushed back to a place where you give up the adult awareness which would hold you back from exposing yourself to someone in this way. Everything that would usually stop you from allowing such a thing to take place is cast off and rather than fighting, you embrace the feelings of being vulnerable and exposed to another person. For many, me included, these feelings can be overwhelming and intoxicating, making spanking an almost addictive pastime so that the more you get, the more you want.

But Doesn’t it Hurt?

Even considering the draw to something which feels illicit and naughty for the reasons above, surely allowing someone to inflict pain, would stop it from being enjoyable. So moving beyond the pain of the humiliation, what about the physical effects of such sport? When spanking is done in an erotic way, the usual pain which would come from a punishment type spank, somehow melts away with the growing warmth of your skin. What would feel like pain in other situation, is translated to pleasure under the heady cocktail of other feelings, turning the sensation into something highly pleasurable.

There is a knack, of course, and you have to get the balance right for that particular person. But with the right amount of build up, the correct pattern and intensity, the ultimate balance of touch, caress and strike for that individual, you are able to lift them higher and higher until they are floating on the waves of heat which radiate from the skin on the surface, setting the rest of the body alight with desire. Once activated, the nerve endings seem to talk to one another, flooding the body with chemicals which ignite the other erogenous zones and sexual sensors.

The Shock without the Horror

Being spanked can feel quite consuming. For something so simple, requiring no specialist equipment or tricks of the trade, it can be extremely effective. There is something almost primal about it and there is also an understated innocence which makes it appear more mainstream than many of the other types of play often used in a BDSM type power exchange. It is relatively harmless in terms of risk, but quite powerful in terms of output and so it remains a firm favourite amongst those who do not see themselves as completely vanilla. In many ways, spanking taps into the shock value, but there is no real horror.

For me, it is about the connection that is created by allowing myself to become exposed and vulnerable. I feel small and safe, as well as feeling sexy as hell and lost in my own pleasure. I feel like my kinks are being displayed in a visual way and it puts me in a completely submissive headspace. There is no question as to who has the power and who is submitting to whom. It takes me away from my other self completely. My strength and presence and poise is stripped away with the peeling back of my knickers, and I feel almost childlike in terms of my standing in the world.

It is a difficult thing to explain to someone who hasn’t tried it and it works for me so completely that I almost feel that anyone who tried it would feel the same way, although I do realise that this is not the case. Spanking doesn’t just do something to my body, it does something to my brain too and that is why it works so easily for me. My kink is Domination and submission and for that, I have to lose control of both my body and my mind. With many other forms of play, this has to be done in layers, but with spanking it is a bit of a one stop shop, which is relatively straightforward to use whatever level of expertise you have.


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  1. OH- you describe this so well. It makes me miss being spanked sooooo freaking much! Thanks for a great description of what goes on when we are spanked and why its so wonderful!

    • Thank you. I miss it when I think about it too hence my comment about it being addictive. ? It’s funny how you do things without thinking how they work. The prompts are quite good for me in that way as it makes me think more deeply about it. xx

  2. A perfect little spanking primer post, Missy … altho’ I love erotic impact play … spanking in and of itself? … it’s a love/hate relationship … one we’re still working on 😉 … nj … xx

    • Thank you. I think I would find it hard if we used it more for punishment actually. My brain is flicked to expect something pleasurable. xx

  3. Love this! You are so right that there is absolutely no question about the one with power when in spanking position. We use erotic, punishment, and maintenance spankings all. But they are all different. More than the physical sensations, I love the headspace that each puts me in. A punishment spanking hurts…a lot. But knowing I deserved it makes me glad for it.

    I love the line “it makes me feel small and safe”. So few would understand the desire to feel that!

    • Your dynamic always sounds so similar to ours although we have only used it for punishment a few times. The cane has sort of replaced spanking for maintenance and reset most of the time as the noise of spanking means that we can’t always do that. But we do whenever we get the chance so it remains a favourite for play ?

  4. Some great descriptions in this post.

    “Once activated, the nerve endings seem to talk to one another, flooding the body with chemicals which ignite the other erogenous zones and sexual sensors.”

    I completely recognise that one, for me it’s the point where the hated pain of the warm up ends and the processing of further pain seems to get parked to one side as the chemicals flow and I feel I could go on forever.

    melody xx

    • Thank you. I don’t think I find the warm up painful in the same way but HL does build things up very slowly for me ?

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