Last year I took part in Tabitha Rayne’s 30 day orgasm fun, a challenge about ‘masturbation for a mental health boost‘. Essentially, is about focussing on yourself for the 30 days of April and sort of reconnecting with yourself on a sexual level. Last year was a mixed bag for me. I found it a lot harder than I had anticipated in that I had not masturbated for a long time. I realised that my orgasms well and truly belonged to HL, not just on a symbolic level but on a deeply psychological one too.
In some ways this felt nice, but it also highlighted to us that what we were doing was counter productive in some ways. If I could no longer orgasm without him, then surely he didn’t have complete control after all? My mind is a tricky thing and it took some unpicking to deal with this and release it again to the point where he could really dictate where, when, and how I orgasmed, even if that meant him not actually being present.
We continued with the 30 days and, if you are interested, you can read about my experience in the following posts:
30 Day Orgasm Fun – First Thoughts
30 Day Orgasm Fun – First 10
30 Orgasms and a Dribble
This year I wasn’t sure whether to take part or not, but on reflection I have decided that I will. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is that hormonal changes have caused a bit of a dunt in my drive so I am hoping that more regular orgasmic experiences can inject some of the old energy back in. The second is that two weeks of April I am off work and so there is a bit more time to play around. HL tends to be horny in the morning, but that is not the time for me. I am hoping that a series of morning orgasms will kick-start my body, and that muscle memory may create a desire there first thing that will match up with his.
So a little dawn to dusk dip into igniting my desire is what I hope to achieve. Although, as well as pollinating my drive, I hope to just have fun and get better at being my own friend.