Go on then. Here I am she said excitedly. Take me and break me and bend me and shape me. Anything you want. Any way you want. I am yours. I belong to you now. Exciting isn’t it? You could do this or you could so that. You might want to try this and you might want to try that. I like these things and am keen on those things. I’ve always wanted to try doing this and have had fantasies forever about that. I hid it and I didn’t tell anyone but I am telling you now. I am your submissive. I submit to you. I have given myself to you and now you can explore me. Anyway you want. Isn’t this exciting? You can do it all now. I want it all. Now. I am ready, she said.
It wasn’t like that though. Your exploration of me. It wasn’t like that at all. Exploration rarely is. There is motivation to step out of course but an explorer is driven into the unknown. He never knows where he will end up which really is the whole point. It is about discovery. And in discovering things for others, he usually uncovers a lot about himself. Discovery is not easy. It is not gentle. And the life of the explorer can be laced with challenges and risks and disappointment. It has it highs of course, its revelations, but it can be a long process of learning through trial and error.
Things don’t always work the first time. You may not have the right equipment to complete that part of your journey. You may see things but not be able to reach them. You may have a sense of the goal but struggle to articulate what is yet unknown to you. You may need help, much more help than you had originally anticipated. At points you may need to return home to gather supplies, to re-engage, to re-route or simply to rest. You will need your team around you to support you and encourage and to commiserate and celebrate alongside you.
There will be times when you question yourself: your motivation, your belief, your ability. And when you are exploring something together, the unknown, you will turn to each other for help, for advice and for direction. You will have to communicate effectively, your goal as yet not tangible: an idea, a thought, something you are working towards. It is challenging to say the least but the rewards of an explorer are worthy of that journey. And the learning you acquire as you go is invaluable. The things you see and the things you feel are not things you can ever truly put into words for others, but they are shared with those who have made the journey alongside you.
It has been like this for us. It has been like this for me. It didn’t happen as I thought at all. In exploring this lifestyle we have broken new ground and it is ours. I have been able to explore some of the things that first drew me to it, but I have uncovered so much more than that. So often we are limited by our own imaginations, and so although I had an idea of where some of this might go, I was not able to anticipate much of what it would mean. It was not only a lifestyle that we have ended up exploring, but each other, and ourselves. I was prepared for my body to be opened, but I had not realised the same would happen to my mind.
I have explored HisLordship, as a husband and a lover and a person, and he has done the same with me. I have explored myself, my fears and my limits and my subconscious mind. And all of this has played a part, not just in where we are going, but in how we get there and what we see. It has shaped our understanding of who we are and of who we might yet become. It has been fascinating to travel towards an unknown destination, and to do that together has brought a closeness that it is hard to explain. It has been a challenge at times for sure, but I had not really understood the reality of what I was asking him for. In the end, we have found our own way, done it our own way, learning from those we have been lucky enough to meet on the road, explorers together.