Losing the Groove

So I never wrote about the days in the cabin.  Having bigged it up in my head, I think that we lost our groove somewhat. Although it feels a slightly negative thing to write about, it is the reality for us, and I expect for some others, that sometimes the things we plan for most don’t go according to plan. One way or another, the experience didn’t really meet the expectations that we had but what it did do was to afford us the opportunity to learn from our reflection and get some take-aways from it. Take-aways could have helped now I come to think about it as cooking in the cabin what one of the things which didn’t match the vision I had created in my mind.

Although real life, the issues of our culinary adventures are probably of less interest as those of the kink matters so I won’t dwell on that for any longer. One of the reasons my expectations were a little off was that sometimes, when you really want something, you can be guilty of seeing what you want to see.  So as my finger poised over the button to book two long desired-for nights away with HisLordship, I focussed on ‘secluded’ and ‘luxury’, somehow not noticing the ‘eco friendly’ and ‘glamping’ aspects. I am all for saving the environment and have even enjoyed some rough camping in my day, but October here is cold and frosty.

I can’t say that low temperatures have to be a passion killer. They mean that you can huddle together next to the wood-burning stove and the wine is constantly chilled. I love that feeling of warm cheeks contrasting with the icy air, but I had naively thought that the cheeks in question wouldn’t be those on my face! Although some degree of nakedness around each other was possible, it was more of a heat right up, quickly reveal some skin, and then cover back up again. Sitting in two pairs of socks, boots, a gilet and a puffer meant that I felt ok but was not as accessible as HL would have liked and the closeness became more about cuddles and love than a prelude to passion and fire.

I don’t want it to seem as if we didn’t enjoy our time because we definitely did. It is always good to be alone together and to have time to talk and to connect without distractions. Being disconnected from the real world was refreshing and the lack of electricity meant that it was just the two of us and the twinkling fairy lights. Yes this meant that we couldn’t really see what we were cooking or eating but, while it wasn’t practical, it definitely ticked the romantic boxes. We warmed ourselves through in the outdoor bath, sipping prosecco by candlelight and then curled up together under the huge duvet in the bedroom. The air temperature meant that the plans for securing me spreadeagled on top of the bed for an impact scene were put on hold for the first night and we just enjoyed each other in a vanilla sense.

And it is always good to remember that vanilla is a great flavour, even if what you had planned to order was caramel fudge. It can be really important not to get lost in your own expectations and actually it made us realise that perhaps we had been relying on the bells and whistles a bit too much. In light of this the second night was better as we had a more realistic view of what we had to work with. AND HisLordship found a blower which was connected to a propane tank under the cabin. This little stroke of luck was like coming across Ben and Jerry with the full range of ice-cream flavours in the middle of the woods, asking which we would like to try. Game back on and the cane and howler were out of the bag!

One of the main reasons for choosing the cabin was the opportunity to take some pictures outdoors and, despite the chill, we were able to do that. It was nice not to have to worry about people seeing us and to be able to try out some different things. HL is quite keen on learning more about photography so it was good for him to be able to have a bit more time to plan out what he wanted to do and how he wanted the pictures to look. Although many of these will remain private as they bear many identifying features, it gave us a real focus for the time away and being exposed to the frosty elements definitely forced me to call on my submissive mindset to get me through.

So in hind-site, had we known what we do now, we may have opted to celebrate our anniversary in a nice hotel with electricity, heating and a toilet with water before the U bend; but we did learn more than how many logs it takes to keep a wood-burner going all day. We learnt that we have been dazzled a little by the lights of BDSM and have become out of practice in play without the tricks and toys. We learnt that sometimes it can be helpful to reach for the simple things and seeing where that takes you can be quite exposing in ways other than those you are used to. And we learnt that when you want something really badly it is always important to read carefully, between the lines as well as what jumps out at you from off the page.

Posted in Submissive Journal and tagged , , , .


  1. Thanks for sharing this reality check. So often, we have experienced the same kind of “disappointment”. It may be for other reasons like sickness or flare ups of chronic pain or who knows what, but the best laid plans often go awry. And that can be very discouraging as we read blogs of “the experts” who seem to have the perfect kinky, submissive life. It’s good to know reality doesn’t just happen to us. ? And it’s also good to be reminded to find the good in vanilla time together.

  2. I suspect you’ll read the ads a little more carefully from now on, but you still had a wonderful time together. And really it is about being together rather than anything else.

  3. So glad you were able to make the most of it despite some things not being as you’d hoped or imagined, it does look very pretty and the lure of isolation and freedom is very seductive, maybe a return in the summer?

  4. I do look forward to seeing your posts in my newsfeed… they are always so honest and heartfelt. I’m glad you had a good time, and even though it wasn’t what you imagined I hope it was perhaps what you needed anyway xx some time together away from the outside world ❤️

  5. I knew HL would keep you warm ?. I’m glad you were able to make the best out of a over expected situation. I’m very glad you didn’t freeze your buns off, lol.

  6. “Life is what happens while you were making other plans.” I could easily come out of a situation like this feeling resentful. I love that you find reasons for gratitude everywhere. It’s inspiring. Thank you for writing this!

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