Needle play is something that HL and I talked about a while ago. Initially he wasn’t all that keen on the idea and so it was on the the list of soft limits which sit there for a bit as you immerse yourself in all of the ‘yes’ activities that you are both really in to. I am not entirely sure what changed: perhaps time, perhaps the desire to go a bit deeper down our rabbit hole and perhaps just the interest in trying something new. I do know that his confidence and interest in attempting needle play was greatly improved by speaking to another couple who are experienced in it.
What attracted me to needle play was the type of pain I thought it might bring. When I was younger I used to play a bit with needles and try to sew them through my skin. I liked the look of them perched there and also the feeling it gave me. The sort of pain that comes from the slow build up of endorphins you get from the feeling of fear and power has always been attractive to me and, although my days of playing with needles and cutting are behind me, I have wondered what it would feel like for HL to do it to me. It is a long time since I used anything like that as a way of managing negative emotions and I suppose it intrigues me as to where it would go from a positive place.
Since taking part in Sinful Sunday, I have also been inspired by the amazing pictures of needle play that sub-Bee has posted on her site. The first one that really wowed me was Ever Increasing Circles but to those unfamiliar with her images, there are many other gorgeous and creative pictures of the patterns that her husband makes on her body by using needles. We were lucky enough to meet them at Kinkfest and, as I said, were really encouraged by talking to them about it. They also invited us to watch and gave us tips about the safety aspects of it, which encouraged us further.
We tend to try things out before we add them into a scene, so what we have done so far in terms of needle play is really just the start. I have sometimes thought of this practice as a type of training for play and this method, while not sexy as such, has worked really well in allowing us to find out where the limits of pleasure and pain lie when trying something new. There was very little warm up for that reason and we talked and communicated in a factual way throughout the session so that we could learn from each other, how it was working. So what I am writing about it more playing with needles than an actual needle play scene.
We started with just four needles to see how that would work and what it would feel like for each of us. Although it was something that I really wanted to try, I was nervous about how it would feel. Sir touched me all over for a while before he began which really helped me to relax but also to feel the excitement of what we were about to share. He had ordered a small starter kit and has a good supply of latex gloves for play anyway so he was able to wear those. The kit came with alcohol wipes and so, deciding on the top of my back as his canvas, he prepared my skin.
Although I could tell he was slightly nervous, his confidence and command meant that he was able to reassure me and talk to me about what he was doing. As the first needle went in, it did feel scratchy sore but it was over pretty quickly. I was laying naked on my front and could feel my body respond in the way that it does to erotic pain, which is always a good sign. As he continued with the second and third needles, I felt my heart begin to speed up a bit and the adrenaline began to take effect. I also felt a sense of calm and, although the fourth needle stung the worst for some reason, I could feel myself really beginning to get in to it.
We left it with four needles as HL thought that was enough for our first session and they still had to come out. The kit contained a variety of sizes and these four were the same, so it had always been his plan to try just with that number initially. He played with them a little, turning them to get them right and to see how they felt before taking a picture. He then removed them (a little faster than I expected) and applied pressure to the area to stop any bleeding while he talked to me and touched me.
Although this wasn’t part of a scene in any sense I can see the opportunities for building it into one, and we spoke about that today. As a connector it was huge and I felt really close to him afterwards. We went on to play and I think that we were already both quite far into our submissive and Dominant spaces from the little taster of needle play that we had done. It is definitely something that we will try again and I think HL is keen to order some more needles of the size we tried, rather than to venture on to the larger ones just yet.
I love the idea of needle designs, like the one of sub-Bee’s pictured above, and we learnt from her and Honey Farmer about the sort of stencil patterns you can get, so this is something we will look in to. I will definitely do another post on the sorts of ways we incorporate the use of needles into our play in the future, once we have more experience. I can see that it wouldn’t take much for me to slip further into the sorts of feelings I was experiencing and can imagine it becoming quite addictive. From first try I think it could form a natural part of a medical scene and would also work well for a sensation scene.
For a more factual account of needle play and how we got started please read this post on The SafeworD/s Club.
I’m very much about the “let’s just practice this thing and communicate about the process as we go” approach when it comes to trying new kinky things. Once we know what works, those things can be incorporated into ‘actual’ playtime later. But you don’t run a marathon before you learn to crawl; baby steps are, in my experience, the best way to start out on a new journey. So I love that you’ve given a real-life example of how your needlework baby steps transpired; I think it’s important for people to see what that looks like and that things take time to learn. It’s not Insta-Kink. 🙂
I am so pleased that you have endorsed that approach as I think all too often people get the impression that they can dive straight in and it doesn’t work well. Perhaps if you are part of a community where play partners have a lot of experience things are different but when you are playing home alone with you tube as your guide it becomes really important I think ?
Sounds like you had a great first practice x
Yes thank you. It went well and I am keen to try some more
Really interesting topic, I like that we get to share a slice of your experience.
Thank you gem. Definitely more slices of this particular cake to come ?
I haven’t ever tried needle play. It isn’t reallt a limit so much as my involvement in medical things makes it something I don’t have much of an interest in. I am glad you’ve gotten to experience something that you can incorporate more into your play time.
There are always so many new things to try and I love that some of them are things that we think we won’t want to do and then we change. I hope that you have a lovely visit ?
I absolutely loved reading this post. It was so interesting to see how you approached needle play and has definitely got me more intrigued about it! Is it okay to ask whether you experienced any triggers with it due to the early negative experiences you mentioned? That is one of my concerns in regards to trying it myself.
Thank you for sharing this!
I didn’t have any negative triggers but the two situations felt so different. It was such a long time ago and it was more that is what gave me the thought that it was something I would be able to do. I have a strange relationship with pain and heavy impact makes me retreat into myself rather than opening up to him so I wondered if this would be different. I felt from the little we did that it would be but we would have to try a longer play session. will let you know how that goes when it happens ?.
Needle play is fascinating and we have tried it a few times. I do enjoy when partners can communicate like you have shown here.
Thank you LordRaven. I am not so good once I start to drift so it works for us to really try things out in a more formal way to see how it goes first of all ?
Really interesting missy, as much as I love pain the thought of needles turns me of but I recall saying the same about canes a long time ago lol…? glad it went well and it’s very important, as you say, to go through something new step by step where communication is the main factor, thanks for sharing
I think it is a different sort of pain and it works for me. I don’t go to the same place as you do with heavy impact so I think finding whatever works is the thing. ?
Needle play is a hard limit for Mr. HH, but this is an interesting recount of the experience that could be intriguing. I agree that research and speaking to actual practitioners is helpful for us too. We really read a lot about wax play before we went down that rabbit hole. A burn on your delicate parts is hard to explain! The approach of try and give feedback is also closer to how we experiment too. So glad you are sharing on this topic.
Thank you Angel. I always think it is funny the things that start off as limits but slowly become intriguing ?
Even thinking about needles gives me full body shivers and makes me cringe. BUT we’re the same way when we try new things — we do it, with full communication and practice it, before we ever add it to a scene. Full light of day, nothing all that sexy about it, just experimenting, trying, and figuring out how we feel about it. 🙂
It seems to work well for us doing it like that. I know there are a lot of people who really don’t like needles and find the thought of them bad but I seemed to get a greater hit from much little pain with them. I struggle to get to subspace from impact so I think it might work well for us. And if he can make some pretty designs it will be cool ?
I’ve never really considered needle play before, but you do make it sound intriguing. Thanks for sharing! 😉
It was something that was on the hard limits for HL at the start but we sort of came around to the idea. It requires further trial I think ?
I have enjoyed the little bit of needle play we have done so far. Everything we have done at the moment has been on my back but I really want to try it where I can see it as I think that might be a turn on for me especially if it bleeds afterwards
I am with you there. We tried on my back too. I am interested to see if it changes my response to watch it. I would imagine it would be a more intense reaction but am not sure ?
Missy, I have never seen needle play. It sounds so interesting. I have to ask…is it like acupuncture somewhat? I have had that so was wondering how similar it might be. You are both so smart in how you are approaching it!
– Kat xx
I have only had acupuncture once. I think with that the needle goes into the muscle – mine did at least. With this it goes through the skin on the surface. I linked an article on the SWC post (also linked) which seemed quite informative of you are thinking of trying it. It has some pictures of what to do and where to do it to start off. Feel free to get in touch although we are clearly just very new to trying it ?
This has given me the biggest smile! I’m so glad you’ve taken steps in trying it out and we didn’t put you off 😀
We started out small too with someone advising and guiding him, I wanted to be 100% communicative that time so we could freely discuss how it felt etc, however it makes me space instantly so I had to fight really hard against that!
Oh, by the way, we aren’t actually married 😉
Seeing Bee’s posts and not reading this there is a sick sense of inevitability that I shall have to try this. I feel it might press some buttons.
It certainly did for me and I am keen to try it again and take things a bit further as we only had an initial try out really. I think as part of a scene it would be quite exciting ?