A to Z Challenge – W
When I first asked for this lifestyle, I had no idea really how it would feel. Submitting seemed like something that would work for me for a number of reasons but I didn’t know how easy or difficult I would find it. In reality it was easy in some ways, I had always been submissive in the bedroom, and challenging in other ways, I have a strong personality and like organisation and control. I thought that as time progressed I would get better at thinking and not just behaving in a submissive way as is illustrated in Bending my Will. In actual fact, I didn’t ever grow into the type of submissive that the books and information I read had let me to believe I would be.
For quite a while this caused a bit of an internal struggle, until I realised that I could still be a submissive without being that submissive. What I had to be was his submissive and as long as that suited and we could work with it that would be ok. I feel a bit conflicted now as when I read the book
The WARRIOR PRINCESS Submissive I immediately identified with that submissive personality and it made a lot of sense. However, I have since been made aware that the author of the book, Michael Makai, was been charged and convicted with using the internet to send obscene communications to a 17 year old girl. I am sensitive to public opinion on this matter and therefore have not linked the book at all here. I have written about why it is I can identify with this sort of submission in the post My submission, His submissive, and the other kick-ass part that I don’t talk about.
My second W is WANT. I suppose this encompasses two things for me: why I want the D/s dynamic that I currently have with HisLordship and also the immense want for him that has been created from living this sort of way. The two are combined in a sense in that one allows the other to exist. For us, practicing D/s is a way of keeping the intensity and the intimacy that we need to feel, not only an ovwewhelming love for each other, but also a fire and passion for each other. The posts Love me Hard and What I wanted from D/s will tell you more about both of these wants.
My last W is for the WAND. When I first joined an online submissive community, I came across ladies raving about ‘The Magic Wand’. We did purchase a version of this but it was not really up to much. I tried to source the famous Hitachi that the US submissives recommended but to my disappointment I learnt that due to the voltage issues it had been taken off the market over here. I think that it was prone to catching fire – not the sort of heat I wanted on my bits so we stopped exploring that option and stuck with out other toys. When we went to SEXPO, we stumbled across the DOXY stall. We were immediately impressed and despite the price tag we purchased the Doxy Diecast, hurrying back to our hotel room to try it out. We were so impressed and definitely felt that it was money well spent. I have written about what we thought in The Doxy and this is one toy that we would not want to be without. I think there are other good wands on the market, but we can’t really fault the one we have.
I hope that you have wondered over my letter W. Check tomorrow for the letter X and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge.