I have a complicated relationship with nudity and it is one which has changed quite a bit over the past while. I have never liked my body but have always been comfortable enough to show parts of it in the right set of circumstances. That would include being topless when lying in the sun which is something I would do if I were on holiday at a resort or in the back garden with the kids. I have two sisters, and although my mum never went topless it was something that we all always did, and my own daughters now will do the same, so being bare is ok.
I love the feeling of the sun on my skin and when I feel that warmth it somehow turns me on. This leads to me feeling much sexier in a warmer climate where I feel generally more aroused. Probably being away and being relaxed also plays a part but, despite my pale skin and tendency to pink up very quickly, I do like the way it makes me feel. I can’t stay out in it for very long, (maybe 30 mins on each side with a high factor) but it is worth it, even for that quick burst of vitamin D.
If I thought it would be acceptable, I would happily wear nothing in the sun and this is something that I have done when I have been alone. My issues with my body are more about the wrinkles, creases, lumps and bumps so laying flat – whether on my front or my back – is something that I am comfortable to do. Ask me to sit up and eat at a table and it will be a different story. I would not be able to do this and would need to cover up. This is not about people seeing my boobs etc, it is more about them seeing the creases of fat that I loath so much and try to keep hidden.
If it were possible, I would rent one of those huts on sticks in the Maldives for a week and just hang out naked with HisLordship as much as possible. I suppose we would need to put on something light to go and eat but the rest of the time would just be us so we wouldn’t have to bother with clothes. I like the smell of his skin in the sun and as it heats his aroma draws me into him. I love the physical closeness that comes from being naked and the freedom that it seems to bring.
HisLordship loves being naked and he loves me to do the same. He has been a real driver in terms of pushing me to a place where being naked is more achievable for me. Initially it was a lot for me to be able to be without clothes in settings which were not sexual but he has slowly chipped away at these barriers and has helped me not to close things down. I have got better at managing the issues that I have with my body but I would say that there are still lots of no-go areas that he tries to work around. Our D/s has given him the position he needed to really push me in a forward direction with it, although I think things are still much more fragile than he would like them to be.
We have talked quite a bit recently about attending a Clothed Male naked female event which sounds really interesting. This would be something really new for us as nudity in public like that is not something we have ever tried. Recently we have been more daring about what we have shown, and the locations of our pictures and the content of them has reflected this. I think that for us (which means for me) the whole topic of nudity is a bit of a watch this space and who knows what I will dare to bare next.
I love this (I will say it’s not showing up in my reader or on your blog when I went into it but I could get to it via the email link) xx
Ok thanks. I will check that out.
My children and I don’t mind nudity as much either. Mr. Texas and his kids freak out over it, sadly that has me covered up a bit more in my own home environment. I grew up with sisters only, and there must be something about that…similar to you, we never minded.
It did cause a bit of surprise when we blended the families as HisLordship has 4 boys but I think they are used to it now ?
Believe me, I understand body issues, but you have nothing to worry about, missy. You look fabulous.
kat
Aww thank you so much. I am starting to accept that a lot of it is in my head ?
So, so, so much BS is all in our heads. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to get it out.
It does ?
I think it is all in your head. But with His Lordship’s help, you may get over it. I have been to a CFNM event but never even heard of the reverse. Good luck if you go!!
I will definitely write all about it if we do ??
I think we all have bits that we are less than happy about. For me it is always about the freedom and comfort in the heat and sunshine (and coming from the same part of the world, I have the same issues about climate and skin colour).
Agreed. I don’t think anyone is ever completely happy with their bodies but the sun makes everything seem better ?
Hello from a long time away from the blogosphere! I just wanted to say that there is a virtuous cycle here: there is nothing a woman can wear so comely as confidence in herself and her body. I haven’t been around to say much of late but I wanted you to know that seeing you post these has been so wonderful. Speaking from my experience with Beth, I am sure that HL is not blind; he sees every crease and lump and fold, and he finds you unreservedly beautiful and irresistible! Next time you want to cover yourself up, please know that we are seeing nothing but beauty–and bravery–here.
You are wonderful!
Awww what a lovely thing to say. I feel quite emotional now. I have missed you but not just for your lovely comments. I miss you and what you add to the world. I hope so see you back around the place soon ?
Mr. HH would love nothing more than for me to forget what I see in the mirror. I grew up with sisters, too, and nudity among ourselves was just normal. But because of the place I grew up and the men in my life, I knew I was viewed sexually from a very young age and the responsibility for staying safe was on me to cover up temptation.
I love to sunbath topless for many of the same reasons you write. However, I’m also acutely aware of my many body distortions from a life well lived. I wonder what it will take to feel less self-conscious about my body and believe that I am attractive.
I am getting there slowly. The positive feedback has really helped to challenge the negative thoughts I have. I am still careful about what I show but acceptance from others is helping me. I know what you mean about distortions from a life well lived. ?
Being naked is a tough hurdle to get over but opens so much submission within me that I find myself much more content when I let myself be okay with being nude. Body image and self esteem issues are a lifelong battle but well worth the fight 🙂
I agree with you there. I feel like I am making progress. I have a long way to go but do feel more positive. ?
I totally get shying away from showing skin thing. For years I was too self conscious but then middle age hit and I thought, fuck it. I love laying in the sun naked. Sadly, there’s only a tiny spot in our garden where I can do so without being observed by neighbours.
Lovely picture and a thought provoking post. Thank you.
Thank you for commenting. I think I am in the early stages of being ok with showing a bit more but it is definitely getting easier ?
Personally I no longer care. I’m coming up 50 and I think that’s got a lot to do with it. In the house I’m rarely dressed. At the beach the other day I did manage to find the courage to wear my kilt in public. Ina, reminded me that no one there knows me so why not. Not quite the same as baring all in public, but the feeling of the sun on my back and the fresh air around everything else was both liberating and exhilarating.
It sounds lovely. Posting more online is definitely helping me to become more comfortable. I am quite excited to feel like I am making progress with it ?
I’m glad you’re making progress. For me it was the realisation that no one is perfect, we’re all in the same boat, and that at the end of the day, hardly anyone actually cares what I look like but me. A man or woman that is comfortable and confident in their own skin is far more appealing than a made up pretty boy/girl. That’s where the natural beauty is.
I totally agree and can have that opinion re other people. It is where my own body image is concerned it becomes quite irrational so it has been helpful being able to challenge that. I would still like to feel more like you do. ?
This is a subject close to my heart. From the flip side I see this in my own Goddess. Nearly ten years ago she had a terrible accident that nearly took her from us. The life saving surgery that she received left her with some horrible abdominal scars. These have had such a negative effect that she’s never wore anything that could possibly show an inch of midriff since.
She won’t even sunbath anymore despite being a lover of the sun (she grew up in Saudi).
The negative effects have been particularly damaging to her self esteem, and in some part to our relationship. I still see her as the woman I fell in love with. The woman I said “I do” to, and “till death do us part.” I don’t see any scars. I just see her. This is a difficult thing for her to accept. It’s been better in the last few years. Age has brought some wisdom, but she’ll probably never be completely comfortable walking around naked in front of anyone but me.
That is really sad. I can see from both points of view how it would affect your thinking thinking though – her seeing what she doesn’t like and you seeing the person you love. I think that the fact she is comfortable naked with you shows that your view of her makes a difference to how she feels about herself. My submission and trying to see myself through his eyes has helped a lot for me too.