Rules, Resets and Roleplay

A to Z - RA to Z Challenge – R

My first R is RULES but for us this probably needs a mention to rituals as well as the two go hand in hand. Our rules, and rituals, have changed and grown with us. We started simple with just a few but have added to them as things became part of what we did naturally. We have also changed the way that we approach the breaking of rules and have added in more punishments and consequences than we had at the start. Our Rules and Rituals form an important part of the structure of our dynamic and we tend to review them and discuss them as we go. As a submissive I am accountable to Sir for my behaviour and actions and this will happen weekly during our Wednesday Canesday session.

Our rules are generally around respect and self-care and they will be followed up via regular check-ins and also dealt with at the time if this is fitting. At the end of the day, I have asked for this dynamic because I want to please HL and to be happy, so there is no reason why I wouldn’t try my hardest to stick to the rules and he knows this. Clearly we can all let other things get in the way at times and that is usually when I will ‘self-report’ and he will decide what action he wants to take. The posts Two New Rules and New Term New Rules also deal with this topic.

Second for R is RESET. Sometimes, without ever meaning for it to happen, we will come unstuck or come off the rails a but with our dynamic. When this occurs we will discuss it fully and look at why it came about. We will also look at what we could put in place to stop it from happening again. Sometimes this will leave us feeling like we have sorted things out but are not yet back in our Dom or sub mindset and at this point we have found that a reset can help. I guess we resetting the power exchange and will do something that sets us back firmly in our respective roles. There will usually be some discussion along with whatever actions we choose as that will help to reinforce the consensual nature of our agreement and what it means. If possible, we have found that A re-set spank works well but there are lots of other things that we have done too.

My last R is for ROLEPLAY. I often describe roleplay as the Marmite of BDSM as people either seem to love or to hate it. HisLordship and I enjoy it. It allows us to escape a bit from who we are and this lets us explore some of our fantasies more comfortably to begin with. I have written much about it in the post Roleplay so if you want to know more then please click the link.

I hope that you have revelled in my letter R.  Check tomorrow for the letter S and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge.

Posted in A to Z Challenge 2018, Projects and tagged , , , , .


  1. When Master created our rules, it made me feel incredibly cared for and… noticed, I guess. Right now, the majority revolve around me taking care of myself, both for his pleasure and my well-being. I’ve let things slip as we’ve grown complacent with each other and focused on nearly everything else but our relationship. The rules give me structure and security. Not sure what S holds for you tomorrow, but mine would be Structure and Security.

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