Pleasure, Pain and Power

A to Z - PA to Z Challenge – P

Although two separate things, for me PLEASURE and PAIN sort of come together as that is how I like them. I have written about how that works in Pleasure from Pain but I have also written before about the pleasure that comes from being submissive which is another important part. In  Pleasing you, pleasing me? I look at how it is a constant circle of pleasing the other person and how much can be gained by doing that. When we do things for others we kick off a whole cycle of feel good chemicals to the brain so it is no wonder I am far happier now than when I was more selfishly meeting my own needs.

I have sometimes felt that the hierarchy of submission seems to place the masochist and the pain slut at the top of the tree, almost as if that is what you should aim for in order to prove yourself. It has been suggested that perhaps we don’t play hard enough, or that we don’t follow the science of the timing to endorphin high, but it isn’t like we haven’t tried these things, my psychology just means that they don’t work as the text-book says they should and I have written more about this in The painful truth.

I mentioned the POWER EXCHANGE in the link on pleasure above and it is the crux of how a D/s relationship works.  For us, The Power Exchange obviously runs further than in the bedroom and so it forms more of a circle around us that means we are both in a cycle of actions which reinforces both the Dominance and the submission. As the relationship has grown and developed we have found ways of having a structure which works for us and the exchange of power has formed a key part of that. There isn’t a set of rules as to what you should do and how much or how little of each you should try to focus on. We have found that those things we do as part of the power exchange have changed with us over time to suit that way that our life is at that particular point.

I hope that you have pondered the posts for my letter P.  Check tomorrow for the letter Q and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge.

Posted in A to Z Challenge 2018, Projects and tagged , , , , .


  1. It’s interesting that you’ve wondered about the placement of pain sluts the top of the submission hierarchy, because as a pain slut (my body is much more comfortable with that fact than my brain) I’ve received comments that seem to indicate the inverse. Like I might have cohones when it comes to physical pain but the mental toughness of “real” submission isn’t there.
    Or maybe we structure our relationship for what works for us – not to fit someone else’s ideal.
    Like you said, “a structure which works for us” – that’s all that’s needed.

    • I agree with you. I guess I was referring to the stereotype that I have come across and this feeling that I should try harder rather than it being my psychology to experience things in a different way. I know that I am more of an emotional masochist than a physical one. Thank you for taking the time to comment ?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.