Anal Play, Active Submission and Aftercare

A to Z Challenge – A

I decided to go with the rule of three as that seemed to give enough to say in each post without overdoing it (some letters are WAY harder than others!) The letter A is a good one to start with I feel as it opens up lots of opportunities for discussion about aspects of my D/s and these are the three that I have selected to start with.

First of all, ANAL PLAY. Anal is which we have really incorporated much more into our relationship since committing to this lifestyle. I think that really this is because it has allowed us to explore the parts of us that we didn’t fully embrace before, and to enjoy pushing the boundaries of things which were previously forbidden.  I have written about anal quite a lot and the posts Anal Play and Anal Orgasms explain a little bit more about how it works for us.

A is also for ACTIVE SUBMISSION which is how I would describe my own submission. That is not to say that I think there is a form of passive submission but more that some dynamics will have more of a leaning to the submissive following instruction or direction. This works well for play and for bedroom only, but I think when you are 24/7 and this a lifestyle, that you will find times that you have to be more actively engaged with it and try to anticipate your Dominant’s needs. Clearly the balance of this will vary, but for us it would not be sustainable for me to follow instruction all of the time as it would be difficult for me, challenging for him, and hard to fit into our family and work lives. Find out more about how it works for us here,  Active Submission.

The last thing that I want to focus on for the letter A is the need for good AFTERCARE. Aftercare is so important, especially after a BDSM scene or play. Sometimes the need for extra care and attention can go on for longer than would be expected and the fact that the Dominant is aware of that, and provides thorough aftercare will mean that the submissive is less likely to suffer from a ‘drop’.  From extra cuddles, to chocolate, to regular check-ins the following day, aftercare can take many different forms. This post deals with Consent, Safety and Aftercare

I hope that you have enjoyed reading about the letter A and the three things that I chose. Check tomorrow for the letter B and to see the rest of my A-Z, click here: A to Z Challenge