Inside Eroticon

Inside EroticonA few of my fellow bloggers have asked me to write about my experience at Eroticon, ‘a weekend of learning, socialising and fun for sex bloggers, erotica writers and erotic creatives’. I had never really considered myself to be in any of these categories so I was a little worried that I wouldn’t fit in but I was made welcome from the outset. I think a lot of other people there had shared the same self doubts at some point and this was alluded to in the keynote speech given by Girl on the Net. She empathised with my anxiety but encouraged, “your words can change the world.” After a swift and humorous account of the year, she arrived at the conclusion that, “We can’t all do everything but everyone can do something.”  In between she made me think, and I mean really think, about my place in this world and what I can do.

The Seminars

During the weekend we attended a number of different seminars and I have to say that I learnt something in each one and came away thinking a little bit differently. We chose a blend of talks which made us think about both the content of our blogs and site as well as the technical side of reaching your audience.  The talk on taboos by Remittance Girl, as well as Annabelle Knight’s talk on erotic writing made me think not just about writing fiction but also about the sorts of challenges that we face as writers of sex and erotica. They picked up on some of the points raised in the opening address and allowed me to feel that I was part of the collective whole.

I have always thought that although I can write, I don’t have good imaginative ideas, but listening to these people speak and the suggestions contributed by the audience was bringing my ideas to the fore. This continued during the workshop by Cressida Downing about whether there is a book in your blog. I am not sure the answer to that would be yes, but listening to the questions she asked and the advice she gave made me realise that there probably were ways that I could spin off from what I do here if that was something I wanted to try. It was also great to hear those listening to the talk offering suggestions and ideas and that really was something that was indicative of the whole ethos of the event.

Kayla Lords session really set things in a different direction as she talked about how to monetise your blog without selling your soul. This is something that I have never really thought about doing but she made me see that you can do it in a way which doesn’t have to change the content or even necessarily take money from your readers. It can be much more about how to find ways of making your blog work for you through things such as reviews and affiliates. I guess this tied in a little with discussion around the marketing of sex products in the talk given on the adult industry by Nina Saini, which again, had me thinking about things in a way that I never had before.

Having recently moved into posting some photographs on my site, the workshop given by Molly about editing was extremely helpful. Again it made me think about the content of what is on my blog but also about the technical side and I learnt about good tools for editing as well as some of the rules of photography that I hadn’t known about. The tips and hints on sizing of images and the cataloguing them were also things that I had known nothing of before so that was a huge help.  Please note, Molly, that my ‘Sinful Sunday’ pictures will no longer be, “the size of a planet.”

Michael Knight’s workshop on SEO and’s talk on raising your visibility on google were so helpful to HisLordship and myself. Setting up The SafeworD/s Club has left us somewhat floundering in the world of site building, maintenance and repair. While we have the basic skills, neither of us is close enough to computer geekery required to run such a thing successfully, and we have not yet ‘come out’ to our 15 year old son who may actually be able to help. So blindly through the back door of the internet we have crept and are grateful at what was demystified for us over the weekend. In terms of content and technical wizardry we still have a long long way to come but Eroticon left us feeling a little bit wiser and a little bit more aware of the potential that was out there for us to improve.

The People

Wow. This part of the weekend was huge. Eroticon is a community and one which is inclusive and welcoming. Overall I was struck but the willingness to share with others without no personal gain other than feeling good talking about a shared interest and love. I suppose because most people are coming at it from the angle of writing being a hobby and a passion it allows for a different, more supportive and non-threatening feel. These people are not just friendly, they have actually become friends over the years and the buzz that creates is infectious. The energy, the enthusiasm and the positivity was palpable and that really helped to make the event for me.

It wasn’t just the organisers and participants who were part of this, the sponsors were also people who were passionate about their products and couldn’t wait to share that, and their expertise, with anyone who was interested enough to listen. I have been at other events before where it is a commercial thing but this was much more about sharing their belief in a product that they have a personal connection to. There was never a feeling that it was about money, although many of those attending were trying to make a living, or even just cover off some of their costs; it felt much more like a community celebrating in each other’s success, encouraging and sharing ideas and helping one another to move forward in a very collaborative way.

I suppose that really the whole event came full circle for me so that from the beginning where the seed was sown that we all had a part to play, to the end where I felt what that part might be for me on a personal level, there was the feeling that I would not be alone. I was part of a community looking to change things for the better, slowly but surely, piece by piece. This event was so good that I posted the day after about the sub-drop I felt following it. Since then I have so many ideas and projects whirring around my head that I feel as if I am back in the sub-frenzy phase.

Obviously a huge part for me was spending time with HisLordship as a couple, doing something that we are both interested in and love. Being away alone together was a real treat and to meet so many fascinating, talented and knowledgeable people was a huge bonus. Although the seminars we attended were amazing, I heard so many positive things of the ones which ran in tandem to them that I could have filled my time two or three times over, which probably answers the question, would you attend again? You bet I would. The weekend was not a budget one but it was one which was hugely valuable and I would happily spend that in order to take part again. Two early bird tickets for next year please!

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  1. I definitely plan on getting my ticket as early as I possibly can and making sure my schedule works out so I’m off. It was lovely to meet you by the way! Hopefully we’ll all be back to learn more.

    • Yes I feel the same although I obviously have a lot less far to travel than you do. It was so lovely to meet you too and I hope we can stay in touch ?

  2. Thank you for sharing, missy! This is something that I would love to attend, but I worry about anonymity. How did you and HisLordship deal with this? Did you use your real names at the conference, or simply go by your blogging handles (or other names)? Just curious about the ins and outs….

    • We went by missy and HisLordship purely because that is how other people would recognise us. (Thank you Ina Morata answering my question about that beforehand) In many cases these were names from blogs and twitter so it made sense. There were funny moments as people worked out who I was from my avatar (oh the bum and the corset) or from some of the pictures I have posted recently (feeding the birds in the wellies). We did tell some people our real names too, especially Sir as his Dom name doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue. Anonymity is important to many of the attendees and this has been considered by the organisers. I think that Molly and Michael are open about who they are but Girl on the Net has a separate online name. There were also two colours of lanyard so that people could see who was happy to be in pictures and who wasn’t and that was respected. There was no pressure to reveal any more than you wanted to and keeping anonymity was something which was openly discussed as part of some of the seminars. I hope that answers the question and feel free to answer anything else. You would love it by the way ?

      • Thank you so much for this thoughtful response, Missy! If I were able to attend under my WordPress handle and not have to worry about my photo appearing all over the place, that would make me feel much more comfortable about the whole thing. I think this is definitely something that I will consider for next year! Thank you so much for the info 🙂

          • LOL…and I would be so excited to meet you! I honestly cannot imagine what it would be like to be able to live out our dynamic in public at an event like this. Does everyone dress up/dress the part a bit? I have a really pretty black and red corset that Daddy loves…..

          • I wore a corset at the Saturday night social. Really it was anything goes. There was a really eclectic group of people and I think they wore what they were comfortable in so you could mix it up in any way you wanted ?

      • Just to further what Missy has said here. We have a very strict behaviour policy much of which is based around this very topic because many of the people who come to the conference, like you wish to remain anonymous. Your delegate badge says exactly what you want it to say as you fill in the form and tell us and the colours lanyards mean no one gets their image put out on social media who does not want it to. If you have any other questions about that aspect of the conference or any other things please do feel to get in touch with me at

  3. Reading about this has got me interested in attending myself next year ? Keeping anonymity was a concern of a mine, but seeing how it seems to be respected there is very good of the organisers. Best get saving some pennies! ?

    • Oh yes. That will be so exciting if I know lots of people. I think for any writer it is a great experience and so much helpful information. We also attended the two social events which helped to get to know people ?

  4. I was going to write my own account of the weekend, however, I would only be mirroring the words used by Missy. I will add my own voice by saying that I also enjoyed the event, and it allowed me to look at the lifestyle we have chosen from another angle I never expected. Thank you to eveyone who contributed to making it a great first outing for us!
    (Nice post Missy xx)

  5. I am so glad you guys made it along and found it such a useful and positive experience. Just so you know Early bird tickets should be on sale in about 2 weeks time 😉

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