writingI had a message from one of my good friends this morning where she said that she had read my 1st March entry and asked if I needed to talk. I told her that we were okay and thanked her, adding that things move pretty fast and that usually the process of writing helped. She then asked if I wrote what I couldn’t say. I told her no, and went on to explain, but it made me think that it might be a good topic for a post. So here goes with how writing works for me and how and why it helps.

Writing sorts out my emotions. I think that simply put, emotions are a reaction to thoughts and therefore if I work through my thoughts to arrive at some sort of understanding of them, then my emotions will change in line with that. Writing helps me to process what I feel so it is cathartic in that sense, but also helps me to move things on. Feelings can be really vague and seem to float around my head at times, but putting them into words solidifies them and that helps me to move forward in a more rational way.  As soon as I have written it all down, I feel better.

It might not be better as in things are fixed of course, the power of the pen is not that mighty, but certainly I feel more resolved about it usually. I often will have come full circle in terms of accepting what has happened which then allows me to get my thinking into a place where I can feel it is a lesson learned, rather than being something I am still struggling with.  This has never been the intention when writing and it wasn’t until I was asked the question this morning that I realised that is what happens, but looking back, not just at earlier this week but other times too, I can see that it is a really helpful thing for me. Things build up, I let off steam, I write, and I am calm.

I tend to be quite a calm person generally and am also quite resilient, so sometimes things will build up a bit before I realise that they are affecting me. I am also not a person who can stew over things for long as I like a resolution so I will address any issues as soon as I become aware of them. The result is that things will see to reach a climax quite fast, I will have a bit of an emotional outburst, and then shift to thinking about it. I find it hard not to talk to HisLordship when I feel like this, which can be good in that it is addressed right away, but also not good as sometimes I am not as controlled about what I say as I should be.

Writing ties into this as I have always found that I wanted to write when I feel strong emotions. When I was much younger I wrote poetry as a way of processing things, but usually that was only when I was experiencing some sort of negative emotion. I never really thought about the words; I would just put pen to paper and something would come. I would go back and read it to understand what I was feeling and to work out what I needed to do. These days I experience positive emotions much more often than negative and that is not something that comes out for me in a poetic form.

Writing reflectively, however, has been different and I am able to write here about all sorts of emotions. I can share my excitement, my anxiety, my love, my frustration, my confusion and my passion. It has been the ideal forum, not just for working through things, but for being able to look back and see patterns and progress. Initially I was envious of those with the skill to write creatively, as that is something that I feel far less competent at, but actually I think that probably, without even realising it, I have chosen to do something which is therapeutic for me.

This is my journey and it is one of reflection, both of things which are good and things which I am not so proud of. If it helps someone else in the process then all the better but really the main person it is helping is me. In thinking about the words, how to shape the thoughts and express the emotions, I am able to be accountable for my actions and draw conclusions about how to make changes or progress, and that is an invaluable thing. So thank you for sharing in that, for adding your thoughts and comments, and for being a part of something that has become really important to me.

Posted in Submissive Journal and tagged , , , .


  1. This is precisely why I write! It helps me process and sort through my experience, and I usually reach a calmer state of mind after I’ve excised all my emotions. My family doesn’t understand that, they think I should talk to a “real person” rather than blogging, but I don’t process the same way. I need to write.
    Your blog was one of the first ones I sent to HD when we were starting D/s. I know I’ve mentioned before about him being new and me being inexperienced, and your writings helped explain things that I couldn’t figure out how to explain on my own. 🙂

    • Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me that I have been able to connect with someone through what I have written. Do your family know about your blog and then content then? My sisters know that I have one but haven’t ever looked at it I don’t think.

      • My late sister knew because she liked to hack my computer and spy on my internet activity, and then she would read anything I posted. I don’t know how my middle sister found it, but she’s the reason I have it set to private right now. I don’t know why my family is so nosy about what I write but they are, and they don’t think I should write anything about them because strangers on the internet will judge them. *eye roll*

        • Oh I see. That is really difficult when you feel it is helpful to you. I am glad that mine don’t really seem interested. Hopefully in the future they will be more open about it and you can go public again ?

  2. I also feel.the same way about writing. But I’m very new to this blogging business and I struggle with the written word quite a lot. I often feel like it’s nothing more than nonsensical rambling and I delete lot of what I write. I really enjoy reading what you write though!! ?

  3. Pingback: Journey, Juxtaposition and Journaling – submissy

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