Where’s submissy?

Where's submissy_ (1)I have messed up my SEO.  This is not some kinky type of D/s acronym: Simple Easy Orgasm; Sexy Erotic Outstanding; Super Effective Oral, though all of those could be D/s related. The SEO of which I talk is far less exciting and earth shattering than this.  From my experience I would say that Superincumbent Esoteric Obscure would be more in keeping with my experience. I talk of course about Search Engine Optimisation. The thing which helps people to find us, to be pointed in our direction, to get the right traffic to the right place.

My blog is a simple WordPress one. Nothing fancy and as such SEO has not really been something that I have had to think about. It has just happened. And, thanks to all of you who have come along to read the writing that I began to post as a bit of an experiment, my blog has grown, and has become something really important to me. I have said on many an occasion that it has helped me to grow as a submissive no end. It allows me the time to reflect, to consider, to discuss and debate, and these are the things that lead me to develop and to keep moving forwards. It has allowed me to make friends who seem to see me for the person I am, without the politics of life which seeks to categorise and separate us by things that are so ingrained that we don’t even notice them anymore.

At the same time, a lucky coincidence has been that google also started to see me for what I am.  A married submissive, a submissive wife,  a submissive blog. I use only the more sensible of the search terms recorded on my stats. I am not sure that naughty elf, orgasm stories and 24/7 D/s wanted are the complete picture of how how I see myself, but they have also led people to me, and who am I to deny the elf within. So although I remain mystified by the big wide world of SEO, by hook or by cane, it has worked out for me and has been my friend I suppose.

What I didn’t mean to do, was to throw that all away. Back in December I wanted to update my blog and so I looked around for a theme that might help people to find information more quickly and more easily. I wanted a theme which would have the blog posts as tiles and so I moved from the ‘My Life’ which had served me so well to the ‘Rowling’ which I hoped would refresh me. In doing this, I also moved my posts from sitting on a blog page to being on my home page. Instead of arriving at About me, my homepage would now lead directly to the most recent posts, and people could navigate from there. I have to say that I was pretty pleased with how it worked as there was no more scrolling all the way through each post to find what was wanted.

I did realise that there was an issue with any places where my site had been linked via the blog page. While everything else worked well, www.submissy.com/blog now went to an empty page and because I had the basic package, downloading a URL redirect plugin was not an option. Not to worry greatly, I just added a message to the page, saying that the blog posts had moved and provided a link to my new look homepage. Sorted. What was not sorted was my SEO. Although I was still here, right where I had always been, submissy was lost. Over Christmas, when everyone was laughing and having kinky fun, google dumped me.

I post this partly as a warning to those of you fellow bloggers, who like me, are unfamiliar with what lurks in the backside of the world wide web and are not in tune with its mysterious inner workings. If you are going to change things about your blog, think carefully about how that might affect your standing and consider doing some research into the things which seem like they would not be an issue, because these are probably the very things that will be an issue. I found some very helpful articles today which told me exactly why I shouldn’t do the things that I have already done, and have had more than one ‘if only…..’ moment.  What I haven’t had yet is a moment of epiphany when it is all suddenly clear and the road back to where I was at the beginning of December is just a simple click away.

I suppose there is always the chance that a person who knows will happen upon this and tell me, not just the error of my ways but also the path to my salvation. Beyond reverting to a static homepage and posts on the blog page, which I have done under some good advice already, I can do little more than just wait and see. But as I said, this whisper of warning / cry for help, was only part of my reason for posting. There was also something else behind wanting to write and that was to share what I had learnt, not about SEO but about myself.

When I realised yesterday what I had done, I felt sick. I was very upset (actual large rolling tears) and although I knew rationally that nothing important had really changed, that was not how I felt. In thinking about my (over)reaction I came to the conclusion that it was more about me than it was about the blog. It wasn’t like it had been wiped, or that all my friends had stopped following me, or even that I had been taken over by horrid hate comments which has happened, unfortunately, to some of the people I know who blog on here. I realised that I was taking it personally because submissy means something personal to me. It is me. It is my words and my thoughts and my journey. I have exposed myself here (in more ways than one) and what happened as a result was that I was accepted.

This, I think, is the crux of things. I have just been me. I haven’t set out to create a following, or spent hours SEO hunting or even thought (much lol) about what others want me to be. I have concentrated on trying to be real and honest and supportive to those who I have met along the way, and quietly I have become noticed for who I am. That has been the first time in my life that I feel that has happened.  I would describe myself much more as one of the worker bees than as a queen and I have been content in life to do just that. I am the person who works away, produces a high standard, but never the one in the limelight who comes to the top. Somehow and for some reason, with my blog, the very heart of me, that didn’t happen this time. And that was really nice.

It made me feel like I had achieved something.  I didn’t know how or why, and deep down I knew that it was more luck than judgement, but I didn’t care. I felt good. And it made me feel even better that it was that secret part of me. It didn’t come from any of those things we usually use to decide who is going to be the number 1, it just happened. I suppose in a way it validated me: I am a married submissive; I am a submissive wife; I have a submissive blog. (Yes, I know I am also the naughty elf with the orgasm stories who wants 24/7 D/s.) And random people actually came to read it. Not because they knew me or liked me or were my friend, but because somewhere out there something has recognised what I am and directed them to me.

The fact that I was so upset to do a search and find myself gone without a trace hit me hard, because it was the first time in my life I had ever been at the top for something, even if I didn’t know how I had got there. So this led me to feel better actually. As I said at the start, none if it is really important, the whole ratings game. I was never here to achieve that and nothing has changed in terms of what I have. I still have everything that matters to me right here and will continue to do just as I have always done. I am no longer sad as my reflection and realisation has turned that to irritation at myself for not realising what I was doing.

I may have been wiped off the bonnet of the search engine, but I am still one of the little cogs in the machine. And really I have always been a little cog and am happy there in the background turning away. I love all the other cogs and pins and we have a laugh and that is what is important. It was nice while it lasted and I would be happy if I were able to reverse things but otherwise I will continue moving in a forward direction and take pleasure in the things that I learn along the way.  A small undetected blogger, typing away underneath a mountain of search results who learnt the hard way THAT CHANGING YOUR BLOG THEME CAN AFFECT YOUR SEO.

Posted in Submissive Journal and tagged , , , .


  1. You will build up again I’m sure! I have no idea how to change SEO at all. But if you can do that more power to you! Regardless Of your SEO, I will continue to read and follow your life!!

  2. You are still seen to followers ma’am. SEO issues are a pain. I actually make no effort to be found but there is an important difference. Your words are worth finding!

    • I would argue the same is true for you re your words. I realize that my head was turned by feeling successful for a moment though and I know that I still have the things that really matter. ?

      • Literally, make a list of the things that matter to you, the loved things that make you you. Take a couple of days to do it. Maybe 10 or 15 things. Then, sit with that list and prioritize it. From the thing you least want to let go of to to the first thing to go if you had to pick. Hold on to it once done and ponder it. These are the priorities of your world.
        Let me know if this blog makes the top 10. If it does then we need to have a talk ma’am.

  3. SEO isn’t important to kat and I; that’s not why we started the blog. However, I do know that there are multiple things which build SEO, and two relevant ones to your blog are followers and links back to your blog (from followers, likes, comments, reposts, etc.). So, with quite a few followers, it shouldn’t take too long to rebuild your place in the standing with all the interaction and links going back and forth. Especially since those of us that enjoy your sincerity will continue to interact with you. — AJT & kat.

    • Thank you. It was never important to me before either and like you that is not why I started. It just sort of happened and I admit that part of me liked it. However, I do know what is important to me and that is not one of the things. As you say I will just keep doing what is matters to me and let other things go in the direction that they do. Thank you for your support ?

  4. I forget now who found whose blog first, but I am so very glad to have you as a friend now. ? I will heed your wise words my friend and make no changes to my blog!

  5. Good insights-thanks. I stay away from the nuts and bolts of the back end (heh-heh, didn’t mean to say that) cause I’m sure I’d booger something up, and more key for me, it’s distracting. As others have said, keep doing what you’re doing. You will be found.

  6. Really interesting piece there Missy, we’ve been at a loss since WordPress closed us, but we wanted to continue blogging. Having set up a new blog on blogger we are finding the same issues, how do we get found? What settings need to be set and what needs tweaking? It creates that element of doubt – have we set this up right or are the posts not interesting.
    We like blogging, it has a therapy aspect for us but it is a bit of a bugger to set up right, so it is great to hear of others experiences and to pickup tips.
    While we have been quiet over last couple of months we have been following your posts, thanks for your efforts Missy.
    Alice & billie

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