I have always been attracted to the darkness.  I don’t know what it is about it but there is something about the mystery of it all that makes it appealing. Obviously real darkness is different but the dark side of a person, all their hidden desires and wants is something which not only appeals but is also very sexy. That is part of the D/s for me. I know that I am safe with HisLordship. I know that he is a kind, loving and nurturing man who would never let anything bad happen to me, which leaves me free to enjoy that other part of him and also to explore my own.

I think that there are lots of people who feel the same way and find something appealing in the dark unknown. Take the success of vampires in fiction through the ages. They are creatures of the darkness, only appearing at night. They come from nowhere, in the gloom, and take what they need and want. In literature and in film vampires are nearly always presented as being sexually appealing. With their secret whispers, lusty gazes, strokes which glance the skin, resting on the throat and penetrating eyes which see the soul, the sexual charge is there from the start. It seems to grow slowly and steadily until the vampire is ready to attack and even then the pain seems to be mixed with pleasure for the victim. I am not sure about you, but there are certainly elements of the D/s dance in there for me!

Being able to explore the darkness in Sir is something that I love. When his eyes glaze over and he is responding to his needs it is something beyond sexy.  It is not only his eyes that change, but also his voice and his body language. He is strong, commanding and at ease with himself and I have no option but to follow where he leads. My body is his and it melts at his touch and will react and respond in the way that he wants. When he is in this mood then he finds the darkness in me too. I become needy, wanton, lusty in his presence. It is something carnal that we create between us and it comes from the dark which we allow to run free for a short time.

Only in this sort of relationship would I be able to trust enough to do this. We have such clear limits and boundaries that it is safe to explore and to be what we need to be once in a while. While it comes from the dark and the lesser known part, it is more sensual and erotic than it is dangerous in its makeup. But nonetheless it holds the excitement and the sense of being something other that leaves you feeling a deep and close connection. Sometimes I have such a strong craving for the darkness. It is like a need to be consumed by it and to become some other hidden part of me. It is something that we explore together and no matter who has initiated it, the magic of the feeling means that we both quickly become part of the same thing.

This is something that I have not really experienced much before my relationship with HisLordship. If the darkness peeped out, it was quickly squashed one way or another so I did not really feel that I could explore it, even if I had wanted to. I was certainly drawn to it in fiction and it left me feeling aroused, but I don’t think I ever really saw myself being able to take it anywhere. I am glad that has all changed now and I think that even though our desires are out in the open with each other, they have not fully come into the light. There is still mystery and darkness surrounding that part of us and it is something that we explore in secret. We know it is there – we talk about it, we see it and we respond to it, but it is not something that we fully understand or can control, so it remains partly hidden, even now.

Posted in Play, Scenes and Kink and tagged , , , .


  1. There is a except from the New Topping’ book below. Basically talking about consciousness and the collective unconscious. In there is the shadow too. ‘ Jung thought the function of the Shadow was to shut away thoughts, memories and feelings that we had forbidden to consciousness for one reason or another. This forbidding happens not only in our individual histories, but in our family’s notion of what is and is not okay to discuss or acknowledge, and in our social and cultural paradigms of the same.’
    I understand what you are saying and it is fascinating.

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