Today was a hard day. Things were full on at work and I also felt undermined by a couple of people. I took it to my manager and that didn’t make me feel any better as I didn’t feel supported. I also had some strange scenarios to manage. You know those ones where what happens is so odd it seems that it wouldn’t happen but you know that it just did? Well that was my day – the working part at least. I did what I always do and sent HL a message to let him know – at that point I was angry about how I had been treated, but later on it turned to me feeling more emotional because I felt let down.
When things like this go on I am always careful to communicate with HisLordship before I return home as otherwise it can make the transition hard. Often now I can slip easily from one role to the other but when the events of the day are whizzing around my head, this is not as easy. I let him know and then he will address it when I get home. When I checked my phone at the end of the day I had a text from him.
When you come home today you will go upstairs to change and I will follow you. You will be naked and suck my cock until you feel calmer. When you are rested I will bend you over and fuck you hard. Sir.
When I got in, I did as instructed and went upstairs. HL followed me and actually undressed me which was nice. He sat me on the bed in the sun and I sucked him for quite a while. My head was buzzing, but it was slowly clearing. I worked to push the thoughts away and focus on him and on what I was doing. After a time he moved back and told me to get on the bed on all fours, which I did. He pushed into me quite roughly and fucked me hard as he said he would. He spoke to me and told me that he needed to use me and that I was his. He was possessive and firm with me.
He has trained my body so that it gets wet easily for him, which he commented on. I like when he does this as it is a clear affirmation of his ownership and command of my body. When he was finished he lay next to me, pulled me into him and held me. I felt small next to him and nestled into him and the tears started to come. He reached for the wand and started to buzz me. He began to talk to me again in a low, quiet voice but this time he told me that I was his good girl and he was more reassuring than commanding. He whispered to me that I was home now and that I was safe and told me just to let it all go, which I did.
Afterwards, we came back downstairs and he made the dinner while I spoke to the kids. While we ate one of them asked how everyone’s day was and I said that mine had been hard and spoke about what had happened. I was serious about it at the start but then made a few odd comments and we all had a laugh together about some of the things that I said. I realised that I was no longer angry or upset, it was just something that had happened today and it didn’t matter much anymore. We had a topic chat at the SWC on impact play this evening that I really enjoyed, when only hours before I had been wondering how I would manage to be sociable.
I am writing this post, not because what happened is anything out of the ordinary for us, because it is not. I am writing it because this is how our life works not. This is how the communication and the trust and the respect and the honesty all work together to allow me to turn to the man that I love and let him fix me. It is how the power exchange operates on the simplest of levels to keep what is important, us and our family, at the centre and keep the other things that happen that are not as relevant, on the periphery. To me this is a simple example of what this blog is about – my life as a submissive wife; the love, the kink and the connection. Well maybe not so much kink in this example, but you know what I mean.
For more about how things work for us, check out other posts from my submissive journal.