I wrote in Spanking Uncovered that sometimes we used spanking for a re-set. By a re-set I mean that we will use it to re-set the dynamic when things have slipped sometimes. This can happen for a variety of reasons from one of us coming out of the correct mindset, to things taking a bit of a back seat due to health, to having to deal with something challenging outwith our relationship. Sometimes the spank just reaffirms the roles that we have both agreed to take by demonstrating the power exchange and sometimes it can be more of a form of maintenance of it. Spanking is certainly not the only thing that we would use for this, but it is a bit of a go to strategy as it is pretty quick and effective for us.
Yesterday, for some reason, I was not quite myself. I am not sure why but it was one of those days were I just felt a little less comfortable in my own skin, and I suppose that showed a bit. I don’t think there was anything in particular and it was only when HisLordship asked me if I was ok, I realised that I was, but only just. It would be good if I’d had a reason to share with him; maybe I was tired, maybe I was hormonal or maybe I was just a bit lethargic, but there was nothing more than that and nothing that was on my mind and needed to be talked about. He said that as we had the house to ourselves we were going to play for a bit. Now this is where I know that something was not quite right as I didn’t immediately want to jump to it.
I got myself upstairs and into position but my head was not quiet right. I wondered if it might be the fact that we need to maximise every opportunity with time alone which makes it feel a bit less spontaneous than it should. However, as a submissive mine is not to reason why, simply to do, so I tried to get a bit more with it. In the interests of open communication I thought that I should share the fact that I was not in quite the right head-space on this particular occasion, although I did assure Sir that I wanted to spend time with him. His, “well it is a good thing that it is my job to get you in the right head-space then, isn’t it?” was just what I needed to hear and I started to relax.
He told me to get over his knee and the spanking began. I don’t know how long we were doing that but I was aware that the blows were falling heavier. Following my post about The Howler he then said that he thought we should give it another go as I had enjoyed it so much, so by the end my poor cheeks were more than a little pink. Afterwards, as he held me, he asked if I was feeling better and I said that I was. He told me that he thought that I was also feeling calmer which I also agreed that I was. For the rest of the day, I felt much happier in myself, which was good as I ended up having to deal with some emotional issues with one of the children.
Somehow in that one little exchange, not only had my mindset been shifted, but my whole demeanour had changed. It wasn’t just that was I feeling stronger, I was also more resourceful, happier, calmer and generally more fun for him to be around. This is the value to us of a reset spanking. On this occasion it was used to reset my mood as he could tell that something was up and had it continued, it would have begun to make things more strained between us. However, if that had happened and things had moved to the next stage, the same reset could have been used to put things back onto an even keel.
It is hard always to see what is there in front of you, so having someone else who can do that and deal with it quickly is such a relief. In the past I used to spiral a little out of control when I got emotional about something, and with each spin I became a little more distant and a little less approachable. I think that it made confronting and dealing with me all that much harder and so this way works so much better for us. We are lucky that Sir tends to be naturally good humoured and pretty even tempered; it takes a lot to get to him, but he will feed off negative emotion so it is good that we are able to sort things in a quick and effective way.
At first, I thought the picture was a result of you being naked in the garden the other day, and your bottom got some sun freckles. 😉
You can’t always be happy and upbeat, so it’s nice that a reset works so well. I’m sure being alone helped too.
Yes the reality today is a slightly more bruised fruit, but as I pulled the pear from the dish last night and sat on my hot bottom to enjoy it, I thought it might be appropriate.
(The following is said respectfully.)
I read:
“Blah, blah, blah”
“I was open, honest and made a timely, appropriate disclosure.”
“He handled it properly and calmy.”
“We both benefited.”
“Blah, blah, blah”
Naturally I am needling you a bit. The point is that it is good to see your inclusion of that bit. That disclosure is so very important for you and the gentleman in your respective roles. As important as it is, it’s hard to do. It’s harder still to reach a point where it feels remotely easy or natural. For these reasons I appreciate the way you show your humility, and the benefits of it, so that others might emulate it.
Yes I probably could have cut to the chase a bit quicker. My writing tends to be a bit wordy lol
Thank you for sharing, missy! I tend to be “wordy”, if we must call it that, as well as I use my blog as a sort of journal as well as a way to share my experiences. I loved reading every word of this! We all need a good reset at times…glad you got one 🙂 P.S. Your Howler scares me!
I think you would probably like it. It looks worse than it is. I’m not a masochist and I liked it though it has made its mark.
???
Please don’t hear that. I love to read and enjoy your posts. That the dominant in me honed in on your admission and was pleased doesn’t lessen the rest of what you said. I just wanted to compliment you while focusing on what I saw as most important.
I wasn’t meaning to do that. It’s something I feel already. I am pleased that you read that from it and saw the value to the important part. I always value your comments ?
i loved your howler… – i must comment – and this too. Oh dearest one – there is nothing that is better for a slave/sub when she is out of sorts. Its put everything into perspective – clears the foggy head and warms a delighful ass…
i shall make the most of it when i see Master x do so so love your words –
Thank you miss agatha ?
“as a submissive mine is not to reason why, simply to do”….OMG how I LOVED that statement!!! Such a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!
Awww thank you Selina. Trying to be in that mindset can be difficult sometimes so I try to focus on Sir and that always helps ?
I’m glad your reset was so easy. And that pear looked amazingly like a freckled ass!!
Yes I loved the pear. Later that evening as I sat there in my burning cheeks I reached for a pear and that was the one I took for the dish so it seemed apt.
You have been at this D/s thing longer then me. I love how you just accept the fact that you needed, he gave and on with the day.
I am the same in my moods and if left to my own devices will spiral out of control. I however am still in the “wandering why” stage. I’m slowly learning to accept that I’m just wired this way with the help of you and others who are willing to share.
♡♡♡Reese
It takes a while until you know what you need I think, or until he knows what you need which probably happens first. My advice is to keep talking, to CM and to your friends as that will keep you straight ?