Hot Stuff

So I got my need met, and some. As it turned out, Sir had planned to play anyway so my cry for help was well timed.  I thought, actually that he hadn’t seen my post as I published it just before we started watching a film together with my daughter.  After that we went to bed and he hadn’t mentioned anything about it so I assumed that he had not read it.  I guess he did this while I was in the bath or when I was waiting for him to come through.  He had told me to lie on top of the covers to wait for him. He handed me a garter to wear on my right leg and told me how he wanted to find me upon his return. 
I was tasked with selecting some music, which I did, and then I waited for him. He seemed to take a long time but that was good as it gave me time to think about him and anticipate what might happen. I wasn’t sure what he planned as he had given me no clues but the garter suggested something more romantic than hard. This is sometimes part of the problem as I will have an idea in my head of how things might go, but obviously he has his own thoughts on that and I have no way of knowing what they are. So I do have to spend time sometimes just clearing my brain of any preconceptions that I might have.
He started as he often does, by claiming my body.  He strokes and touches me all over and talks about my body and what he wants from it.  He will pinch and squeeze a bit and maybe give me the odd slap or two.  He spoke to me in a low voice, asking me who I belonged to, and going over some of the protocol and checking about safewords. He then put cuffs on my wrists and on my thighs and clipped them together.  He asked me to bend my knees and then let my legs drop to the sides and he tightened the straps connecting them.  He was being very gentle and I started to slip into  relaxed state almost at once.  He kissed me deeply and I felt really safe and warm.
He then whispered in my ear that he had read my post and that it tied in nicely with what he had planned and so he hoped that I was ready.  A sudden wave of fear hit me then as I wondered if I really was.  I wracked my brain thinking about exactly how far I had gone in my description of how roughly I wanted to be used and began to doubt that I could take it but there wasn’t much time to think about that.  He told me to close my eyes while he worked on me and then it started.  I felt the pinch of my nipples first and then he the cold lube hit me.  He teased me for a while with a glass dildo and then inserted it partly into me and said that he would leave it there to let me enjoy its weight for a bit.
I wasn’t sure what he was doing although I heard him moving around. Of course, I realised as soon as the crop hit my nipples and he began his assault on them, flicking with the crop and pulling and pinching with his fingers and talking about how erect they had become for him.  All the while I could feel the glass inside me but only just and it was making me ache for more. He moved it then and I felt the heat as it touched my clit. He then spread some lube on my arse and reminded me that he had not forgotten how much I always enjoyed being used there. He pressed another dildo against my hole and kept it fixed there for a bit.
I heard him put on a latex glove and he asked if I knew what that meant.  I told him, respectfully, that I did and he said that he intended to fill me properly.  I let myself go so that I could take what he gave me and he used the wand on my clit as he slowly took me with more and more of his hand.  It all becomes a little fuzzy from there as I began to float a bit.  I was aware of the fullness and of having a number of orgasms as he took complete control of me.  My mind was drifting in and out and I have no idea how long we continued like this for.  When he finally moved and gave me his cock in my mouth, I choked on it from the need and desperation for him.
This was not the end and he continued to draw the orgasms from me as he fucked my throat.  The feeling of burning in your own need for another person is huge and something that is not easy to describe properly.  My need to be reduced to nothing and to feel remade as his was more than met, and when he finally took me properly I was in a seemingly continuous state of orgasm and ecstasy that went beyond what I could properly comprehend. I find it hard to finish off my posts about our play for a couple of reasons.  One is that, as I start to drift away with the intensity of it all, things become a bit hazy and time stops.  The other is that the way I feel makes it sound as if it is something unbelievable which I think that it is if you haven’t experienced it.
It is awkward to write about the way you become when it is the most primitive part of yourself that is operating.  I suppose to some it may seem like a thing of beauty but it doesn’t really translate into words as the beauty comes from the intensity of the experience and the depth of emotion. It is part of what binds you together and what holds you in the mindset you need to be in. To be free of yourself doesn’t sound like it would bring the peace and calm that it does, so I don’t think that my description of it really explains it well but it is a place which I find helps to keep me at my most submissive and where I really feel that I am the person I want to be.

Posted in Play, Scenes and Kink and tagged , , , , .


  1. It’s interesting to read this post as a microcosm of your life. It starts out needy and a bit desperate, then slowly losing control, until finally, it’s ‘bluh-bluh-bluh’ something happened and it was soooooooooo good, but I really can’t explain—bye-bye.

    • Ironically I can’t write about sex. Which is why the lack of fiction I guess. It’s just not as good as it really was when I try to write about it. I hadn’t thought of the post as a microcosm of my life though. Is that how it comes across?

      • Yes, to me at least. You have distinct layers to your writing. The posts about life and struggling to cope are crisp and clear, then, as you are subjugated to his will, the words become soft-focused and relaxed. I find it quite endearing and authentic.

        • It is always interesting to see yourself as others do. I guess it goes with the loss of control. I think that maybe it is also about confidence. My ability to communicate about the emotional relationship is more evolved than the sexual part as it is further out of my comfort zone I think.

  2. I find myself with some yearnings as I read about your complete deliverance of control. Your writing style certainly makes it feel as if we’re in the room with you. Nicely done!

  3. Pingback: Expectations, Exposure and Endorphins – submissy

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