I thought I would write about my frienD/s as I have been thinking a lot about real frienD/ship recently.  By frienD/s I mean the people who I chat with regularly, who have supported my journey, who are aware of my submission and who follow a similar lifestyle.  These people have been so important to me over the past two years and are really key to the journey that I have made. My regular friends don’t understand and can’t support me in the same way. I do try to speak to them about certain things but the code which I have to talk through and those crucial missing details make it particularly hard to really connect and find the support that you need. Likewise with them, when they are looking for support, I find that they do not have the tools available to them to try to fix things that I have open to me.
Most of my frienD/s are not local to me, and while I would love to have that, we have been able to communicate and build a relationship really well online. Email and messaging apps have meant that, even when there is a time difference, you can be there for each other. I don’t think that I had ever really expected this and, as someone who teaches the potential dangers of social media, it still seems ironic to me that I have been able to establish such close, honest friendships with people who I have never met in real life. Sometimes, of course, it can lead to meeting up – again something I would be warning young people never to do – and for Sir and I, that has been a real thrill and pleasure. Meeting in person can certainly strengthen the bond that you share, and I think is another step in illustrating the trust and safety you have in each other.
My frienD/s have got me through thick and thin. They have listened and offered support or advice when I have really needed it. They have used their own experience and understanding of how the dynamic works to give suggestions and help me to see things in a clear way.  I would like to say that everyone I have met has been like this but that is not the case. As with ‘real time’ friends, some will appear to be there but actually when you need help, they will not be around.  I am not disappointed or let down by that – such is life – but it does make you reflect on whether the connection that you share is based on something genuine or whether it is more circumstantial and based on what you can offer them at that time.  Having spent some time thinking about it, I am thankful that I do have some seriously great frienD/s who I know that I can turn to when I need them. I am also confident that I would do the same for them. We have supported each other and celebrated the good together and I have no doubt that this will continue.
Sir and I have always wanted to have a group of people who we could meet up with once in a while to talk about aspects of this lifestyle and this is something that we hope will happen over time. Being part of the community here on WordPress has also meant that, through reading and commenting,  I have found people who understand and are likeminded. I am already learning a lot by sharing and by reading what you have shared. Thank you to those of you who have shown your support through likes, comments and follows. That really means a lot. If you would like to chat in a less public forum then you can reach me through email on or can send a message through my contact page.

Posted in Submissive Musings and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .


  1. I completely agree Missy. When I started blogging under my real name in 2006 I had no idea that I would connect with and eventually meet in person with blogger commentators turned friends turned real-life people that would change the course of my life. The worst part of making blogging friends is knowing that many of them you will never meet in person. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have met 10 people through blogging and I hope will meet more in the future.

  2. Online or in real life there are those who are just What can you do for me? It’s disappointing but for every one of those there are several that desire true friendship.
    I am truly amazed by the support out here.
    You have been a great help to me and I hope some day to get across the pond. <3

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